


What Do I Know?

by allmylovesatonce



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise, M/M, angst angst angst, my bad guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:35:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 83,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmylovesatonce/pseuds/allmylovesatonce
Summary: After a bad accident, Alex finally wakes up from a week-long coma. His family and friends are so relieved until they find that he has memory loss, forgetting the last five plus years. For Henry, he's forgotten their entire relationship. How do they go forward when Alex still thinks he hates Henry, but Henry is wearing his wedding ring?The amnesia fic that no one asked for.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 718
Kudos: 1161





	1. Waking Up is Hard to Do

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I was in the mood for angst. Enjoy! :)

It happens on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. Henry is at home, resting — at June’s insistence. The longest week of their lives is about to end, but neither of them know it yet. June is sitting in the chair next to the bed, distracting herself from her pain by looking through a tabloid. 

“Listen to this,” she says, “Apparently the new first daughter was caught kissing her security.” She laughs darkly. “Thank God for Cash and Amy, huh?” Looking over her shoulder, she glances at Amy waiting outside the doorway. “Anyway,” she continues, “people are quite scandalized. I should make an anonymous poll comparing your scandals and this girl’s scandals.” 

Reaching out, she grabs Alex’s hand. “Then again, yours was all in the pursuit of love. I wonder if she can say the same.”

June looks at Alex for a long moment before she turns back to her tabloid. She flips a few pages before she finds something else noteworthy. “Ooh, a story about Selena Gomez.” 

“Huh?” 

June’s head shoots up, throwing the tabloid to the ground. “Alex?” 

He groans a bit, but doesn’t respond. June leans forward and grabs his hand. 

“Alex, can you hear me?” 

“Yeah,” he breathes. 

There are tears in her eyes as she watches her brother come back to life. “Nurse!” she yells at the door. 

Alex whines at the sound. “Quiet,” he asks in a small voice. 

“Sorry,” she whispers. June settles down in the space on the side of his bed. “Alex, are you okay? How do you feel?” 

“Head...hurts…” 

June laughs in spite herself, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Well, you hit it pretty hard, unfortunately.” 

Alex opens his eyes again and squints against the light of the room. “I did?” 

“Ah, Mr. Claremont-Diaz, there you are,” the nurse says as she walks in. “Good to see you.” 

“Mmhmm,” Alex replies, closing his eyes again. 

“Okay, we’re going to take some vitals and see how things are looking,” Nurse Watkins tells June. 

“Great,” June says, smiling down at Alex. “I’m going to step out and make a call quickly.” 

She makes an excited face at Amy as she walks past her, giving her a thumbs up before she steps further into the hall. Pressing on his number, June puts the phone to her ear. 

“Hello?” Henry answers in a tired voice. 

“Henry! He’s awake!” 

“Are you serious? He’s really awake?” 

“I’m not lying. Do you think I’d lie to you about this?” June nearly screeches. 

“No, I don’t. It’s just been a long week and optimism feels odd.” Henry blows out a breath. “I’m half asleep, but I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Okay, be safe!” 

“Thank you, June!” 

* * *

Henry bolts around the brownstone, throwing on more acceptable clothes. It’s been a week since Alex got in a car accident and ended up in the hospital. Even worse, it’s been a week since Alex was conscious. A week since Henry held a conversation with him. A week since Henry got to hold the love of his life in his arms. 

He can’t move fast enough to get to Alex’s side. As he rushes his PPO to get him to the hospital, Henry curses himself for letting June send him home. Yes, it had been a while since he’d slept in an actual bed, but he should have been there when Alex woke up. 

The staff at the hospital knows who he is and lets him fly through the halls. The faster he can get there, the better. Amy gives him a hopeful look as he nods to her outside Alex’s room. For an unknown reason, he stops, his hand hovering over the door. 

“He’s awake,” Amy tells him. 

“I know.” 

“He’ll be glad to see you.” 

“I know,” he says again. 

This week has been hard. Harder than he ever expected. Henry hasn’t spent this much time in a hospital since his father was sick. It was something that crept into his mind over and over as he watched Alex’s vitals stay constant, never improving, never decreasing. He sat there, willing his husband to wake up and be all right. He sat there, praying to a higher being he’s not sure he believes in to spare Alex and send him back to the land of the living. Henry’s been losing his patience with all the doctors and nurses, waiting for the answers to his questions. 

Now, here he is, one step from Alex’s room, and he’s frozen. He’s not sure what is scaring him, what’s keeping him in the hall, but he can’t move. There’s a knot in his stomach and he’s not sure why it’s there. All he’s wanted is for Alex to wake up. But as he looks through the window and sees the doctor asking Alex questions, he can’t quite explain his anxiety. 

It’s not until Amy puts her hand on Henry’s shoulder and gives him an encouraging smile that Henry finally finds the courage to walk inside. 

Careful not to disturb anyone, he opens the door quietly and steps just inside the door. The doctor has Alex and June’s full attention, and that’s the way it should be. 

“I’m just going to ask you some questions just to get a general idea of your mental state, you understand?” 

Alex nods. Henry can’t believe he’s awake. He looks exhausted, but it doesn’t matter because he’s awake. June looks over her shoulder and spots Henry. They share a small smile before Henry puts a finger to his lips, nodding back toward the doctor. She nods and turns back. 

“Okay, can you tell me your name?” 

“Alex Claremont-Diaz.” 

“Good. Can you tell me where you are?” 

“Uh, a hospital?” Alex replies. Henry fights a chuckle at his response. 

The doctor nods, a smile on his face. “That’s correct. Can you tell me what city you are in?” 

“I’m not really sure outside of the hospital. If I had to guess, I’d say D.C.” Henry tenses immediately. Alex hasn’t been to D.C. since Ellen moved out of the White House six months ago. 

“Okay,” the doctor replies slowly. “Can you tell me what year it is?” 

“2019,” Alex replies confidently. 

Henry struggles to contain a gasp. He can see June tense as well. She turns and looks at him again, a terrified look on her face. Her terror can’t even match the terror inside of Henry. What happened to Alex to make him forget the last five and a half years of their lives? If he thinks it’s 2019, what will he think of Henry? His eyes close as he leans heavily against the wall. He can feel the panic filling him up, no matter how hard he tries to push it down. This can’t be happening. His husband can’t have forgotten their entire relationship. 

Tears are springing to his eyes as he tries to focus on the doctor and on Alex. The doc is penciling notes. Alex stares at him with a confused expression. 

Henry tries to tell himself that just because Alex thinks it’s 2019 doesn’t mean that he might hate him again. Maybe he thinks it’s the end of 2019 and they’re just friends who talk on the phone sometimes. That’s a lot easier to come back from than pre-wedding-cake-disaster Alex. 

The doctor asks Alex a few more questions, questions that Henry barely processes. He tells Alex about side effects that he might feel due to waking up from several days unconscious. Taking a big sigh, he steps closer to Alex with a sorry look on his face. “Now, Alex, I’m afraid I do have some bad news.” 

“Okay?” 

“It seems you have some memory loss. This can be common in head injuries as serious as yours. You hit your head quite hard in your car accident. Hard enough that you were out for a week. Memory loss can be a side effect of these types of injuries. We don’t know for sure, but there’s always a chance it can come back. In some cases it can come back slowly. I know you have a large support system, so I feel confident that they will take care of you either way. But I want you to understand that this will be a struggle.” 

He reaches out and takes Alex’s hand. “Lean on your people and they will help you get through this. I’m going to recommend that you have regular check ups to see how your head and your memory are healing. It’s possible that the memory center is just jolted and will come back on. Layman speak, of course.” 

Henry can see the panic on Alex’s face. He wants to rush over and run his fingers through his hair like he does when Alex gets upset. Now he has to wonder if Alex will even want to see him.

“We’ll continue to monitor you today and tomorrow, I think you’ll be ready to go home, okay?” 

“Okay,” Alex says in a small voice. June grabs his hand and squeezes it. “Thank you, Doctor.” 

“Of course. We’ll talk soon.” 

The doctor walks toward the door and shoots an apprehensive look at Henry, clapping him on the shoulder on his way out. 

Henry’s watching the man leave when he’s finally acknowledged. 

“Henry?” 

He looks over at Alex and smiles, hoping it’s a real smile, knowing almost for certain that it’s not. “Hi.” 

Alex watches him for a long moment. June keeps looking back and forth between them. She looks as nervous as Henry feels. Suddenly Alex sits up straighter in his bed, a stern look on his face. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

And just like that, Henry’s worst fears are confirmed. 


	2. Come Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kind reaction to the first chapter! I had a crazy week after posting that and was sad I couldn't update until now! I hope you enjoy this next chapter as well! I hope you love angst, because this fic is going to be rife with it.

Alex is watching Henry, a seething feeling coursing through him. What right does Prince Henry of all people have to show up at his bedside? What, to rub it in that Alex was in an accident and that Henry is living his best life? It seems like a dick move he’d pull. The thing Alex can’t understand is why June is looking at Henry with a matching distraught look on her face. Why is she reaching out and laying a hand on Henry’s arm? Why does he matter at this moment?

He’s yet to answer Alex’s question. So he asks it again. “Why are you here?” 

Yet again, June looks at Henry before turning back to Alex. She sits on the edge of his bed, but Henry doesn’t move from his position next to the door. Alex is glaring at him. He wants to see literally anyone else but him. 

“Alex, the doctor said you have memory loss, and well, it’s true. In the last six years, you...well, Henry is your husband.” 

Alex recoils and pulls his arm away from June. “Excuse me? Why would you lie about that?” 

“Because it’s not a lie,” Henry says in a small voice from the door. 

“It’s not,” June insists. 

“But...that’s not possible,” Alex is struggling to wrap his addled brain around what they’re saying. He looks at June and Henry. Neither of them seem ready to say “Gotcha!” Alex shakes his head in his confusion. “I can’t be married to him. I — I can’t…” 

“Alex —” June starts. 

“For one, I’m straight,” Alex claims. 

Henry releases a laugh before covering his mouth with his hand. 

June gives him a look before turning back to Alex. “That’s another revelation you had in the years you lost.” 

“I’m gay?” Alex asks. His mind provides images from high school — Liam and the locker room. Somehow, it doesn’t seem like the most unlikely of options. 

“You’re bi,” Henry tells him, still standing at the door. 

“Okay…” Alex says, dragging out the word. He shakes his head and covers his face. “I still don’t understand how we —” he motions between Henry and himself “ — ended up married,” he says, putting quotes around the word  _ married _ . 

“You fell in love,” June says unnecessarily. 

“Yeah, I’m assuming I wasn’t chosen as the bride for the royal family,” Alex says, his voice dripping in sarcasm. 

Henry is silent at his post. June pulls out her phone and is typing madly on it. Finally, she turns it to Alex and his jaw drops open at the picture. “Scroll through it. It’s a whole album.” He takes the phone and stares down at the sight of him and Henry, dressed in their finest wedding attire — Henry in his royal finery and Alex in a fantastic tux — looking at each other, enormous smiles on their faces, arms linked, standing in front of some big church. According to the caption on the picture, it’s Westminster Abbey. He looks up at Henry and back at the phone. 

“This is…” Alex doesn’t know what to say. He swipes to the next photo and sees a picture of them in a royal carriage during a parade through London. It’s hard to accept that it’s  _ him  _ in the picture. Honestly, he’s not sure he’s ever seen a picture of him ever looking so incandescently  _ happy _ . The look on Henry’s face is also significantly different than the one he’s making now. 

“It’s real, Alex,” June tells him as he switches to the next picture. This one is of them kissing on the balcony at Buckingham Palace. 

“Yeah, I can see that. I can’t imagine that you’d photoshop something on this scale just to fool me after coming out of a coma. I just don’t get how it’s possible. I mean, Henry…” He’s not sure how to finish that. “And I…” he trails off again. “It’s just not possible.” 

“Alex, if it’s 2019 and we’re just messing with you, why on earth would I be here? It is not and has never been my mission in life to fuck up your life and play mindgames with you,” Henry tells him, his tone dry, his face drawn. 

“Look, that makes sense...logically or whatever. But it doesn’t  _ make sense _ !” 

“Alex,” June says in a voice attempting to be calm, “I know it’s a lot to handle. But if we want to help you bridge the gap, we’ve got to tell you the truth about your life. And the truth is that you and Henry are married and have been for just over a year.” 

Alex covers his face with his hands, groaning to himself. “Okay, fine. Whatever.” He lowers his hands and sees June give Henry a sympathetic look. She almost seems more comforting to him than she is being to Alex. He doesn’t get that either. “So what do I do?” Alex asks. 

“What do you mean?” Henry asks, taking his first step from the door. 

“Well, I apparently was in an accident and have forgotten the last, what, six years? How do I get it back?” 

June sighs. “I don’t know. But I’m sure the doctors or nurses will have some sort of advice. You’ve only been awake for a little bit. Compared to the week you were out, this is nothing. Maybe being around familiar places and people will help it all come back.” 

“And what if it doesn’t?” Alex presses. He looks to Henry. 

Henry sticks out his chin in a way that catches Alex’s attention. “Well, I suppose we’ll cross that bridge when or if we come to it.” 

It’s not much of an answer, but Alex doesn’t know what else to say or do. He nods. “Where are Mom and Dad?” Alex asks June. 

“Mom was here for a few days but had some big thing she had to attend back in Austin.” 

“Austin? Did Mom not get re-elected?” 

June lays a hand on his arm. “Alex, it’s been six years. She won, but she’s been out of office for six months now.” 

Alex’s eyes go wide as he stares around the room. Putting it in that perspective is appalling. How did he lose an entire second term of his mother being president? What else has happened in that time that he just...doesn’t remember. Apparently he fell in love and got married — though that still doesn’t make sense to him. How does one accident wipe everything away? 

“What about Dad?” 

“Dad had to get back to D.C. They’ll both be here by the end of the week. And Leo.” 

“Wait, where are we? If Dad’s in D.C., where are we?” 

“New York,” Henry tells him. 

“I live in New York?” 

“You do. You and Henry have lived here since 2021. And Nora and I both live here now too.” 

Alex shakes his head again. “Okay.” 

“I know this is all a lot, but we’ll take care of you. All of us,” June promises. She motions to Henry. “Between us and Nora and Mom and Dad, we’ll get you through this. Hell, I wouldn’t put it past Rafael to chip in as well. It’s got to feel overwhelming, but you’re safe and you’re alive and that’s such a gift.” 

Alex’s eyes keep cutting to Henry, hoping that if he stares at him long enough, he’ll figure out the mystery of how they ended up together. “I believe you,” he says to his sister. 

“Good,” June says. “You have to stay overnight again, but you’ll be more than taken care of once you go home too.” 

June and Henry spend the day in his room, though June is always closer to his bed than Henry. Nora pops in midway through the day, Amy and Cash also making appearances once they think he’s ready for them. His mother and father both call him, relief evident in their voices. Through it all, Henry is remarkably quiet. It’s like he can’t leave, but he can’t say anything to Alex. 

Alex spends the night at the hospital having his vitals checked every few hours. June left his phone with him and Alex pulls it out when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night. He looks through his phone, figuring out how to work it since it’s fairly different from what he remembers. Surely many of these apps meant something to him when he downloaded them, but they mean nothing right now. 

Taking a deep breath, Alex taps on the Photos app. There are so many memories tucked away in this folder, ones he can’t access in his own head. He enlarges a picture of Henry laughing, a glass of wine in his hand, his head thrown back. He shakes his head at the sight. That’s not a version of him that Alex has ever met — including today. He continues to the next picture, one of Alex kissing his cheek. It seems to be the same night. Alex goes back out to the rest of the photos and scrolls, seeing that there are an obscene amount of pictures of Henry or of him and Henry together. 

All he wants is to find  _ one  _ photo that gives him an explanation for all of this. He knows that probably doesn’t exist. And they made it sound like it was five or six years ago anyway. Who knows how many years of photos Alex has on his phone, how many memories that have been erased from his brain but remain on the cloud. 

It feels like a betrayal. Alex’s mind has always been sharp. And maybe it still is. But it feels like one of his strengths has failed him. His ability to remember things — facts, figures, dates, people — has helped him out in so many situations. And yet, here he is, he can’t even remember how he ended up married to someone. 

He wonders what it would be like if the person he was married to was someone he didn’t know in any capacity. What if he didn’t know Henry at all and he just showed up in his room and claimed to be his husband? Alex glances down at the ring on his finger — the one he refused to look at while Henry was present, even if he didn’t know why — and he wonders how it ended up there. If some stranger had walked in and said they were his husband, would Alex have believed them more readily than when Henry had professed it? 

He has no answers. 

Alex desperately needs answers, though. He closes his eyes and tries to make a list in his head. 

1.

He can’t come up with anything to make him feel better right now. Nothing will solve the mess that is his garbled mind. 

Somehow, sleep eventually finds him. He’s not sure how long he sleeps before the nurses come back in for the morning, checking on him. By 9:00, Henry’s there too. He sits in the chair next to Alex’s bed, allowing himself to be closer to him than he was all of yesterday. Alex is still wary of him. 

“Where’s June?” 

There’s a flash of pain in his eyes before he shuts it down. “June wanted to be here but had to go to work. She said to tell you that she’ll stop by home once you’re back and bring us lunch or something.” 

“She really can’t be here?” Alex asks. Even if he doesn’t think Henry’s going to hurt him or something, he still doesn’t really want to be alone with him. 

Henry swallows harshly. “She’ll be there later. Once you get situated at home.” 

_ Home.  _ It felt like a painful word to Alex. Would he even recognize his own home? Based on everything over the last 20 hours, he thinks he won’t. Will it still somehow feel like home? Probably a  _ no  _ on that too. He has a few homes he can claim — The Austin house, the lakehouse, the California house, the White House. Has this place in New York become a true home to him? Will it one day feel that way again? 

“Are you alright?” Henry asks. 

“Why?” 

“Well, you looked a bit panicked and the numbers of your blood pressure are jumping up a bit,” Henry tells him, watching the screen next to him. “Are you in pain?” 

“I’m fine,” Alex fires off. “Don’t worry about me.” 

Henry’s lips compress into a flat line. “Well, I’m sorry, but I do,” he retorts in a small voice. 

Thankfully, the nurses come in for one last check on him before he gets released. It’s not until he’s being ushered into a wheelchair — “Hospital policy” — that it hits him that it’ll just be him and Henry. Cash is waiting at the lobby door with Henry as the nurse pushes Alex toward the door. As he goes to stand up, Henry extends a hand to him. Alex glares at it and stands up pointedly on his own. Henry closes his eyes for a moment before turning and walking toward the car. Alex feels a flash of something, maybe guilt, but he quickly brushes it off. 

He watches the scenery out the window so he doesn’t have to look at Henry. When Cash pulls up to a brownstone twenty minutes from the hospital, Alex can’t help but stare. Henry gets out like it’s routine and walks to the stairs, waiting with a limp arm to see if Alex needs help. 

“I’m fine,” he says gruffly. But this time, Henry doesn’t walk away. He stands and watches as Alex moves up the stairs. After a week in a hospital bed, his body is a bit weak, but he feels proud when he makes it to the top on his own. 

Henry unlocks the door and gestures Alex inside. He looks around the place and feels nothing. It’s pretty and well decorated, but it doesn’t feel familiar in the slightest. He lingers in the foyer, staring around at the rooms spread out around him. There’s a living room off to one side, with bookshelves lining the wall, a large tv cozied between two built-ins. There’s a couch facing the tv, vast and comfortable looking. He looks to the other side of the foyer and sees an office, decked out for two people. Apparently they share it. The stairs straight ahead of him must lead to even more rooms. He turns and walks around, looking past the living room to the kitchen beyond it. Something on the wall catches his eye and he turns to look at it. 

It’s Alex and Henry. They look perfect. The photo looks professional. Henry’s arms are curled around Alex as he holds him from behind. Alex is tucked happily into his arms, holding his hands over Henry’s arms. They’re sitting on the stairs to some fancy-looking building. Just like with the pictures June showed him from the wedding, he’s never seen himself quite like  _ this.  _

Alex turns and looks back at Henry. It’s clear the other man is trying to gauge his reaction. Slowly, he flashes him a small smile. A sad smile. 

Henry turns and walks up the stairs. Without thinking much of it, Alex follows him. He sees a few rooms up there, mostly bedrooms, a bathroom, and a closet. Henry opens a door and a dog comes bursting out. 

“David!” he yells. 

The dog stops at Alex’s feet, going up on his hind legs and barking happily at Alex. Alex smiles for maybe the first time since he woke up. He bends down and pets the dog, ruffling his ears. “Hi there,” he says, laughing as the dog licks his face. “What’s your name?” 

“That’s David,” Henry says in a tight voice. 

“David?” Alex’s face shows his disgust. “I let you name our dog  _ David _ ?” 

Henry clears his throat. “He was my dog before we got together. He has since become  _ our  _ dog.” 

Alex nods, standing up and patting David on the head. “Makes sense that you’d give him such a boring name.” He walks around and ducks his head in the room right off the stairs. Behind him, Henry has yet to move. When Alex’s eyes land on him again, he looks defeated. “I, uh, kind of feel like a nap would be a nice idea.” 

“Right,” Henry says quietly. Gesturing to the room behind him. “This is the bedroom.” Alex raises one eyebrow. “ _ Our  _ bedroom,” Henry clarifies. 

Alex nods, looking between Henry and the room behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he eyes the guest room. “If it’s all the same, I’d rather crash in here,” Alex says, pointing to the room at his back. 

That defeated look is back on Henry’s face as he nods jerkily. “All right. Whatever makes you comfortable.” He walks toward the stairs, motioning for David to follow him. “I’ll be downstairs if you should need anything.” 

“I won’t,” Alex retorts without thinking. 

Henry takes a deep breath. “Okay, then. Have a good rest.” 

His eyes linger on Alex for a long time, like he’s trying to think of something else to say, something to snap Alex out of the mess he’s in. Eventually he flashes Alex a tight smile and walks down the stairs. Alex can’t help but watch him walk away, wondering for the millionth time how this is his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


	3. Feeling Lonely When You're Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaat? Another chapter already? I agree, it is crazy! I hope to keep up a quick pace, but life has been unpredictable. I hope you enjoy this update!

Henry lays in bed, but it feels empty. Granted, his bed was empty any time he actually slept at home while Alex was in the hospital. But this time it feels harder, knowing Alex is just in another room. They made a rule early once they moved in that they’d never sleep in separate rooms if they were in the same place. No matter if they fought —which isn’t even that often—they would always end up back in the same bed. Henry’s always thought it stemmed from Alex witnessing the end of his parents’ marriage. But either way, the rule works. 

That’s why this feels like the ultimate betrayal. His husband should be in bed with him. 

He tosses and turns most of the night, not sure if sleep ever finds him. In the middle of the night, he gets up and walks into the hall, hovering outside Alex’s door. He lays a delicate hand against the door, wishing more than anything to just go in and curl up beside his husband. How is he supposed to live like this? He doesn’t know how to cohabitate with his husband when his husband doesn’t remember any of their life together. 

Henry trudges back into his room and throws himself down on the bed. Looking at his phone, he realizes he’s missed most of the night. At 5:00 am, he replies to a message from Bea from yesterday morning. 

It’s only a couple of minutes later when his phone rings. 

“Hello?”

“You’re up early,” Bea comments. 

Henry chuckles dryly. “Is it considered being up early if you never fell asleep?” 

Bea laughs loudly. “Goodness, you and Alex are really celebrating him being home from the hospital, huh?” 

Henry’s stomach sinks. June was there when they realized Alex has memory loss. Apparently he just assumed she’d pass the news on to all their friends. He can feel tears springing to his eyes, stinging at the back. It’s the first time he’s let himself cry.

Bea picks up on the long silence. “Henry?” He doesn’t reply. “Hen, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” 

“No,” Henry whispers. It’s the most he can manage. 

“What happened?” 

“Alex…” Henry trails off, making himself take a deep breath. “He has memory loss.” 

“Amnesia?” Bea asks, her voice nearly a shriek. 

“Yeah.” 

“Christ. What does he remember?” 

Henry lays his head back against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. “Not me.” Bea gasps on the other end of the call. “Well, that’s not totally true. He remembers me as the awful prince he knew before the incident at Philip’s wedding.” 

“Are you serious?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“He doesn’t remember that you’re married?” 

Henry chokes on a sob. “He doesn’t remember that we were ever together.” 

Bea clears her throat. He can picture the look on her face, the same look of sympathy and protection that she bore as she stood watch over him when their emails were leaked. The same look that she bore when she tried to be tough for him while they watched their father die. He knows without seeing her that she’s wearing that same expression again. And he hates it. He loves his sister, but he hates that she has to protect him again. 

“It’ll be okay, Henry,” Bea promises. Henry wishes he could believe her. “I know it feels like a lot now, but it’ll be okay. Surely his memory will come back, right?” 

“I don’t know. The doctor doesn’t even seem to know.” 

“But Alex loves you. Surely that’s in there somewhere.” 

“Maybe. But it doesn’t seem like it right now.” 

“Have you told Mum?” 

“I haven’t told anyone. Not even Pez. I don’t know how to tell everyone that I’ve essentially lost my husband.” 

“Well, maybe that’s why you  _ should  _ talk to Mum. She has some experience in that area, unfortunately.” 

Henry shocks himself by scoffing. “Yeah, there’s a big difference though. When Mum’s husband died, she didn’t have to still share a home with him, watching him regard her with nothing but disgust.” 

Bea pauses for a long time before she replies. “So, you’re saying Mum had it easier because Dad just died? Henry, that’s awful to say. Your Alex could come back to you. Dad never will.” 

Henry sighs deeply, wiping tears off his face. “I know it’s awful to say. And I don’t really mean that. I’m just…” 

“Distraught?” 

“To put it lightly.” 

“Well, all my obligations for the time being are over. I wanted to come and be with you while Alex was in the hospital, but I couldn’t get away. I’ll come now and take care of both of you.” 

“Don’t,” Henry tells her. 

“Why?” 

“The last thing Alex needs is to be around more people he doesn’t know. I feel like he’s close to lashing out because he’s so angry that he doesn’t remember the last six years. Presenting him with more unknowns could only go badly. June and Nora will be here and his parents are coming. And I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” 

Bea tuts in reply. “Well, I understand your reasoning. And I’m glad that he’ll have his family around him. But I disagree with you. I think you absolutely need someone to take care of you, Henry. Alex’s memory loss isn’t happening in a vacuum. It’s happening to you too.” 

Henry closes his eyes and runs a hand down his face. “Yes, well, he doesn’t really see that. And it’s too soon to point that out.” 

“Why?” 

“Because right now Alex hates me because I was a prick to him one time. And then I guess, the fake rivalry, or whatever. But he doesn’t like me. Not even a bit. And so if I point out to him that this is affecting me as well, he’ll just view me as some pathetic, needy whinebag. And that’s rather counter productive if I want Alex to stay here with me.” 

“You think he might leave?” 

“I don’t know. June made us watch some amnesia movie once and it’s all I’ve been able to think about since he woke up.” 

“Henry, if you need help, you’re not pathetic, needy, or a whinebag. You’re a human being who has been through a lot. If you won’t let me come and care for you, you can bet that I’ll put someone else on the case.” 

“You really don’t have to, Bea,” Henry insists. “I’ll just rely on my British stiff upper lip. It’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t want you to go back to that. In the last six years, you’ve come so far. Henry, don’t let yourself backpedal.” 

“I’m not the one we need to be concerned about right now,” Henry dodges. “It’s Alex. So, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” 

“You better be. I expect updates if you won’t allow me to come there,” Bea urges. 

“Of course. Thanks for checking in.” 

“I’ll keep doing so. You’ll get annoyed with me.” 

Henry laughs slightly. “I look forward to it.” 

He’s sitting, nursing a strong cup of coffee, when he hears Alex walk down the stairs. The familiar sound of his footsteps echoes toward the kitchen. Alex walks in, not even noticing him at first. “Mmm, coffee!” Alex sighs, walking straight for the coffee pot. 

“Thought you could probably use some,” Henry says, making Alex jump. “There’s a mug right next to the pot. It’s yours.” 

Alex picks up the mug with the Union Jack on one side and the American Flag on the other, their royal suitor picture in a heart on both sides. Alex stares at it for a long moment before he looks up at Henry. “You thought it was funny. You bought one for both of us and a good chunk of both our families.” 

He sighs and turns back to the coffee. “Did I?” 

“You did.” 

There’s a long silence that stretches between them. Alex won’t come any closer to the kitchen table where Henry sits. He stands at the counter and sips his coffee, pointedly not looking at his coffee mug. 

“Would you like something to eat?” Henry asks, feeling the itchy need to fill the silence. He can’t help but wonder if this is how Alex always feels. Or maybe  _ felt.  _

There’s an odd smirk that crosses Alex’s face. “Don’t tell me the prince actually knows how to make pancakes. I don’t think I’d believe you.” 

Henry forces himself to remain congenial. “Well, not pancakes. The first time I ever tried, I made a mess while flipping and you said you’d just make them any time we fancied them. But I can make you eggs, or an omelet, or waffles, if you’d like. We have some brioche for toast. I splurged the last time I went to the store before your accident. Really, anything you’d like.” 

Alex watches him for a moment, his eyes narrowing. “I can take care of myself.” 

Henry closes his eyes and attempts to quiet an exasperated sigh. “Your call.” He’s grateful when his phone rings and he has an excuse to walk away from Alex. “Hello?” 

He wanders out of the kitchen and plants himself on the stairs, sitting and cradling the still necessary cup of coffee. His mind is still focused on Alex, still focused on the nightmare that started the moment he got the call about the accident. He says “Yes” or “Okay” when needed and answers all the questions asked of him. 

“How is he?” Ellen asks finally. He can hear the hesitance in her voice. Like she saved this question toward the end because she’s scared of the answer. 

Henry hesitates too. How much does he share with his mother-in-law about her son? She’s known him his whole life, so surely, she knows what Alex can be like when he’s stressed or uncomfortable. “Well...I think he’s doing alright. Physically, he seems fine, if not a bit weak. But that would happen after a week in a coma. And as best as I can tell, everything before 2019 seems solidly in his mind. It’s the rest that…” He lets the sentence die out before finishing it.

“I’m sorry, Henry,” Ellen says. 

“You don’t need to be. Not for me at least.” 

“But I am. This must be so hard for you.” 

Henry desperately wants the comfort Ellen is clearly ready to offer. He can’t take it though. Alex should be the one to bear the weight of his parents’ concern. Henry can handle it. He feels pretty sure that he can handle it. “I’m doing alright,” he outright lies. 

There’s a beat where he feels confident that Ellen didn’t buy it. She’s been the President, the Speaker of the House, a Congresswoman, and a lawyer. She’s got to be pretty good at spotting liars. But she’s also been a mother all that time, and she must know when not to press an issue. “Well you let us know if that changes. We’re here for you too, sugar.” 

Henry smiles to himself, nodding as if she could see it. “Thank you. It’ll be good to see you today.” 

“I agree. It’ll be good to see both of you. I’ll see you this afternoon.” 

“Sounds good, Ellen. I’ll see you then.” 

He hangs up with his mother-in-law and looks over to see Alex staring at him. “Was that my mom?” 

Henry takes a sip of his coffee. Damn Alex for getting him to drink it on days when tea isn’t enough. “Yes, it was.” 

“Why did she call you?” 

Henry shrugs, standing up from the stairs. “I don’t know, because she needed to speak with me?” 

“What about?” 

He forces down a sigh. “She wanted to let me know she’d be arriving later today. She wanted to check in and see how you were doing —” 

“Why couldn’t she just ask me all that stuff?” 

“I don’t know, Alex. Maybe she didn’t know if you’d be awake. Maybe she wanted to let me know that I’d be having company later today, particularly my in-laws. Maybe she just wanted to prepare herself before she talks to you. I can’t say for certain.” 

Henry walks past Alex and refills his coffee. He’s going to be jittery all day, but he’s going to need it. Maybe after this cup he’ll switch to Earl Grey. 

“So my family will be here today?” 

“Your mother and Leo will be here this afternoon. I received a text from your father that he’s going to be here today as well.” 

“Good,” Alex says, turning back to the toaster. 

Henry nods once before he turns to leave the kitchen. 

“And you know what,” Alex starts, grabbing Henry’s attention, “you should feel grateful to have my family as your in-laws,” he says almost angrily. 

“When did you ever get the impression that I’m not grateful for them?” 

“That little comment you made ‘ _ especially my in-laws _ ’ or whatever,” Alex reminds him. “You make it sound like they’re such a hassle. You’re lucky to have them.” 

Henry takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself before he replies. It works notably  _ less  _ than it has in the last 36 hours. “Alex, believe me, when we got engaged, there was  _ no  _ question who was on the winning end of the in-law lottery. It was very clearly me. Also, I am incredibly appreciative of your family. They’ve checked in on me just as much as they have you. Probably because they’ve considered me family since before we ever got engaged. And told me as such.” 

Alex is near glaring at him, jumping slightly when his toast pops up. 

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come at me, accusing me of not knowing what I have when I am well aware of what I have. If you’ll recall, you’re the one who doesn’t know what you have. Maybe think about that before you yell at me the next time. Alright?” 

And instead of letting Alex respond, Henry turns on his heel and stalks away from the kitchen before he can apologize for snapping at him. Maybe he should feel bad for yelling at his amnesiac husband, but there’s only so much one can do on no sleep, all anxiety, and when all the right buttons have been pushed. 

If there’s one thing about Alex that has never changed, even with the accident, it’s that he knows how to find Henry’s buttons and push them till they shatter. 


	4. The Comfort of Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how I've written three chapters in three days, but here we are! Enjoy!

Alex is left alone for a good portion of the day until his family gets there. Every so often, Henry wanders into the room and straightens things up, but he never speaks to Alex. There’s a nagging feeling of guilt tugging at him. He hates it. It’s not like he was  _ that  _ hard on Henry. The man needs to toughen up in Alex’s opinion. 

And yet, he sees small moments where Henry’s mask slips. In those moments, he sees the pain bare on his face and Alex knows he’s the one who put it there. Of course, it’s not like it’s  _ his  _ fault that he got in an accident and forgot six years of his life. Really, this is all harder on Alex. 

But that look. That look eats at him when he allows himself to think about it. Which is why he keeps trying to distract himself from it.

He’s more than relieved when June and Nora show up ahead of his parents. Henry greets them as well. Alex can’t put his finger on why, but it bugs the hell out of Alex to see Henry so close with  _ his  _ people. Nora and June are Alex’s best friends. He feels possessive of their friendship. 

Things feel better once their attention is back on him. He doesn’t want to evaluate what that really says about him. Henry hangs around and talks with June and Nora as they all sit in the living room. Alex tries to understand what their relationship means. He was surely the one to bring them all together. Even without his memories, logically, that’s how it happened. 

He watches Henry with June and Nora and he’s a very different person. The man who snapped at him this morning seems buried beneath multiple layers of pleasantries. Alex wonders which is the real person. Is it the man who sat by his bed and stayed silent, allowing June and Nora to speak to him the whole day? Or is it the man who wouldn’t take Alex’s pestering any longer and put him in his place? Maybe it’s both. 

Over the last few days since he woke up from his coma, all he can think about is this new information. How is he married to Henry? And more than that, how did it happen? How did this person sitting in front of him ever win Alex over? The doormat doesn’t spark much interest. The yelling, well, that was at least something different, something intriguing. But it’s surely not what lured him into a relationship. 

When the doorbell rings, Henry jumps up and answers the door. He can hear his mother’s voice before he sees her. She’s giving Henry a large hug, a kiss on the cheek. Pulling back, she holds him at the shoulders, telling him something clearly important. Alex wants to know what she’s saying. Henry flashes her a sad smile and she pulls him in for another hug. 

Is it possible that what Henry said before about his family considering him one of them? He looks at his mother and Henry and it’s clear that a sense of kin is there. 

His mother steps past Henry and rushes at Alex, wrapping him in a tight hug. Over her shoulder, he sees Leo embracing Henry as well. Alex tries to shut off his mind and focuses on the comfort of his mother’s hug. 

“You scared the hell out of me, Sugar,” his mother says quietly in his ear. 

Alex holds her tighter, feeling for just a second that things are right again. It’s been a long time — at least in the memory he holds — since his mom was just his mom to him. 

“Sorry, Mom,” he says, choking up a bit. 

She pulls back, putting her hands on either side of his face. “I’m just so happy you’re alright.” 

“You heard that I have…” Alex waves a hand by his head as a way of explaining away his memory loss. 

“I know,” she assures him. “But you’re here and you’re alive. The rest will sort itself out. I believe that with all my heart.” 

Alex looks over at Henry talking to Leo and at June and Nora waiting by the couch. “I hope so,” he whispers, only for his mother to hear. 

She pulls him into another hug, pressing a kiss to his head. “It will.” 

* * *

It’s clear to Henry that Alex is relieved to have his family around him. Oscar showed up not long after Ellen and Leo. Rafael showed up an hour after Oscar. And just like that, the support system that the doctor had promised Alex has appeared. A few notable names are still across the ocean, but Henry is keeping them away from Alex. 

As he watches Alex with his family, he sees shades of the man before the accident. He just wishes he could be on the receiving end of it. At least just once. 

Either way, it’s nice to see Alex smile, nice to hear him laugh again. Still, there’s a part of him that feels like an intruder in this family moment. It doesn’t make sense because Henry  _ is  _ part of this family. He has been for years. But when he looks around the room, everyone is gravitated towards Alex— rightfully so— but Alex isn’t gravitating towards Henry like he usually does. And with that lack of posturing, Henry feels out of place. 

He gets up to refresh everyone’s drinks, but upon return, he doesn’t sit back down. Henry excuses himself for a moment. Finding his way to his study, he crashes down into his chair. With a swivel of his chair, he turns his back on Alex’s desk on the other side of the room. The door remains open, allowing Henry to hear the conversation from the other room, albeit not clearly. 

He hears Alex laugh ring out loudly and it makes his heart clench a bit. 

Henry’s not sure how long he sits in the room on his own, feeling withdrawn from his family in the other room, feeling lost in his own home. He’s staring off at nothing when he hears footsteps approaching the door. Looking up, he sees Nora leaning against the doorjamb, her arms crossed across her chest, shooting him a concerned look. 

Henry says nothing, just flashing her a tight smile. 

“How’s it going?” 

“I’m fine, Nora.”

“No, you’re not, Henry. It’s not possible for you to be fine right now.” 

Henry shrugs helplessly. “What do you want me to say?” 

“I want you to tell us what’s going on in your head. I want you to let us take care of you just as much as we’re trying to take care of Alex.” 

“Ah, so Bea called you. I should have known she’d turn to you.” 

Nora walks in and sits on Henry’s desk. She gives him a look. “Bea didn’t call me. She didn’t have to. Henry, we’ve been worried about you since Alex got in his accident. And now that he’s awake and he…” 

“What, doesn’t remember me?” Henry asks bluntly. 

Nora makes a face. “Yeah, that. I’m concerned about you. We all are.” Henry doesn’t have anything to say in reply. “Have you seen your therapist recently?” 

“I don’t need to.” 

“Don’t be an idiot, Henry. This would be hard on anyone, even if they didn’t have past traumas. You should see your therapist!” 

“I don’t need to!” Henry repeats, his voice raising. A disappointed expression crosses her face. “What would I even say to her? ‘Gee, I’m an awful person because part of me wishes that my husband had forgotten even more of his life so that he doesn’t have any memory of me and I can start over fresh.’ Or maybe ‘What do I do to convince my own husband that I’m worth his time?’ Or ‘I fear that everything good in my life is slipping away from me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.’ What, do I just plop myself down and admit all of that?” 

Nora reaches out and grabs his hand. “Yeah, I think you are supposed to do that, Henry. Certainly that last part. If any of that is how you truly feel, you need to share it with someone who can give you real insight.”

“Who actually has insight on a situation like this?” Henry asks miserably. “Who knows what it’s like for their husband to wake up from their coma hating them?”

“He doesn’t hate you.” 

Henry raises one eyebrow at her. 

Nora laughs before covering her mouth. “I don’t think he ever really hated you before. I think he didn’t understand the things he was feeling because he thought he was straight and you annoyed him but he also was attracted to you and didn’t really know it.” 

“So, what? You think he doesn’t hate me now?” 

“I think he’s very concerned about what’s going on with his own mind and he’s taking it out on you. Which, yeah, isn’t fair, but —” 

“But he has to get those feelings out somewhere,” Henry finishes. “And it’s a lot easier to take it out on someone he hates —or thinks he hates— and move on from it as best he can.” 

“Probably true, I’m afraid,” Nora agrees. She fixes him with an intent look. “Go back to therapy, Henry. You know there’s no shame in it. And you need that outlet. It’ll eat you alive here if you just keep pushing it down. It’s only been a couple of days and I can see how much it’s killing you. All of us can.” 

“Not Alex,” Henry says. 

Nora nods. “Well, yeah.” 

“I get it. I don’t want him worrying about me anyway,” Henry tells her. “I just…”

“You want your husband back.” 

“Desperately.” 

“It’ll all work out,” Nora promises. 

“You can’t know that.” 

“You can’t know that it won’t,” Nora retorts. “But helping yourself is not shameful. And you know I’ll keep checking in to see if you actually go to therapy.” 

Henry sighs, opening his mouth to reply. 

“And I’ll sic June on you too,” Nora adds. 

A reluctant smile crosses his face. “The two of you are a formidable force.” 

“You bet your English arse we are.” The two of them share a small laugh and for a second, things feel hopeful again. 

* * *

Alex notices when Henry wanders off to another room. He expects him to return quickly, but he doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t come back for a long time. Eventually, Nora disappears as well. He watches as she walks off toward the study. 

“So how are things going, Alex?” Oscar asks, pulling his attention back to his family. 

“I mean, I’m alright. It’s weird to have lost a significant portion of my life, but I’m doing okay.” He can’t let them know how freaked out he really is, how stressful it is to have lost so much, to not know about his own life. He can’t let them know how much he needs. 

“ _ Mijo _ , we’re your family. It’s alright to share it with us,” his father urges. 

Alex leans back into the couch, pulling his legs up toward his chest. “It’s just a lot.” 

“You know you could turn to any of us,” his mother says. 

“Including Henry,” June adds. 

Alex rolls his eyes. Somehow it always comes back to Henry. 

“Don’t roll your eyes,” June scolds. “He loves you and he’s just trying to help you.” 

“What if I don’t want his help?” Alex argues. 

“Then you’re an idiot,” she retorts. 

“Bug, you don’t get it!” 

“You don’t get it, Alex,” she talks over him. “He would do literally anything for you. He sat at your bedside every day that you were out, only leaving when I made him go get some sleep. He’s your freaking husband and I know that you don’t remember it, but you should at least let him help you or at least try.” 

Alex starts to argue with her before their parents intervene. “This isn’t the time for this,” Ellen says. “You two never fight.” 

“At least not like this,” Oscar chimes in. “You need to rely on family, though, Alex.” 

“And whether you like it or not, Henry is your family,” June tells him. “Maybe don’t write him off. Pay attention to him and you’ll see how much he cares about you.” 

Alex is not interested in being lectured. It feels like some cosmic joke, like some scheme that Henry convinced his family to join in on. June just keeps going and Alex feels prickles of annoyance spread through him. 

“I’ll do whatever I feel is right,” Alex says, cutting everyone off. “This is my life and my messed up head. Can we just drop it?” 

Silence rings through the room. Alex notes how his family look around at each other, unsure of what to say next. They sit like that for a long time until Nora and Henry walk back in and join the group. 

“Man, who died in here,” Nora jokes. Henry sits down on the couch next to June. Alex seethes at the sight of them, hearing June’s words about Henry echo through his head. 

His sister has always pushed him, usually for the better. He wants to believe that it’s the same thing here as well, but Henry leaves him off-kilter. There’s something about being around him that leaves Alex on edge. He doesn’t know if it’s something from his past or something from the years that he’s lost. But as it stands, Alex can’t be around him for too long. 


	5. Coming to Blows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaat? ANOTHER chapter? Believe me, I'm shocked too. This is basically part 1 and I'll have part 2 out soon!

Being a prince has its perks. Like when you request an appointment with your therapist and you are given a time within the next week. It’s been a week since Alex woke up. A week of tip-toeing around each other while living in the same house. Henry makes him breakfast and leaves it for him in the kitchen, not feeling the need of interacting. He usually takes his breakfast into his study to attempt to do his own work. When he takes his dishes back to the kitchen, the other plate is usually gone. 

Henry knows he should be trying to engage with Alex more, but he finds it easier to leave him to his own devices. He wants to know what Alex has been doing. Based on a chance look at Alex’s phone when he set it down on the counter, he’s been catching up on all the pop culture he can’t remember from the last six years. 

He can’t help but wonder how many times he and Alex have popped up in these searches. Is Alex learning about their relationship by googling it? 

June shows up an hour before Henry’s therapy session. Behind Alex’s back, June, Nora, and Henry have all agreed to not leave him alone in the house. Any time Henry has to leave, one of the girls will come over to “hang out” with him. It’s only happened one other time, but he doesn’t think Alex has caught on to it yet. 

June and Alex are sitting on the couch, watching  _ Parks & Recreation  _ happily. “Heading out?” June asks, looking back at him. 

“Yes he is,” Nora says, walking in the room. 

Henry does a double take at her. “What are you doing here?” 

“Making sure you go to your appointment.” 

He rolls his eyes. “I told you I was going.” 

“Just making sure.” She smiles proudly at him. 

“Where are you guys going?” Alex asks, not taking his eyes off the tv. 

Henry glances at Nora with a significant look. “Er, just an appointment.” 

Alex looks over his shoulder at them, catching Nora give Henry a nod. 

“Okay, we should be going. See you both later,” Henry says, waving to them and walking out the door, Nora close on his heels. 

He listens to Nora chat as they travel from the brownstone to his therapist’s office. Not much of what she’s saying is getting through to him, but he thinks Nora probably knows it. Even if it’s been hard, Henry is quite relieved to have Nora and June looking out for him as well. Bea and Pez have been checking in with him daily as well. It doesn’t rid him of all the pain, but it helps. 

The wait in his therapist’s lobby makes him anxious. It’s been a while since he’s met with her. He’d been having quite a good go of it for a while. Together with his therapist, it was decided that Henry was doing well enough to lessen the frequency of his sessions. 

Now, all that progress feels like a joke. 

He’s called into the office and Henry walks inside, planting himself down on the couch. 

“Henry, it’s good to see you,” Dr. Wiley says. He nods, not sure he can say the same. “I’m impressed that you reached out when you felt you needed another session. It’s not always easy.” 

Henry nods again. “Yes, well, it wasn’t completely my decision. A friend of mine insisted that I make an appointment.” 

“And why is that?” 

He bounces his knee slightly, taking a deep breath. “My husband, Alex, had an accident two weeks ago.” 

“And he’s not doing well?”

“That’s not it. He woke up and is home now.”

“Well that should be good.” 

Henry nods, working up to telling it all again. Still now, the only person he’s told is Bea. She told the rest of the family and June agreed to tell Pez. “It would be. And it is. He’s safe and he’s alive and that should be all that matters.” He looks up at Dr. Wylie and closes his eyes. “Alex has memory loss. He’s lost the last six years of his life. Which, of course, includes everything from our relationship.” 

“That must be very hard to deal with. Is he still living in your home?” 

“Yes,” Henry says. “But it’s different. He is sleeping in a separate room. He acts like he did toward me six years ago, which was not generally conducive to a marriage.” A dark laugh escapes him. “He hated me. It was all based on a miscommunication. And eventually we moved past it, got to know each other, and fell in love.” Henry sighs. “But now, that hatred is back and I don’t know how to deal with it.” 

“How did you deal with it before?” 

Henry thinks back on the years before he and Alex were together. “Well, we didn’t see each other all that often. It was certainly easier to manage. I tried my best to be civil to him and he usually poked and poked to try and piss me off.” 

“How did that all change?” 

“Interesting. Have you not followed the news at all in the last six years?” Henry asks with a laugh. 

His therapist gives him a look. “I’d like to hear it in your own words.” 

He nods, trying to find the words to explain it all. “Well, it all came to a head. We bickered a bit and it turned into a bit of a fight which just happened to be at my brother’s very public wedding. We toppled into the cake and it became very public international news. So both our families insisted we fix things. As a cover, we became fake best friends.” 

“But that became real?” 

Henry shrugs. “Not at first. We were prepared to lie our asses off and make it look good for the public. But then a few things happened. We started to see each other as real people, not just enemies. Well, at least he didn’t see  _ me  _ as an enemy. I never really saw him as an enemy. Anyway, we were at a children’s hospital and there was a shooting scare, so we were shoved in a supply closet. And while we were in there, it forced us to confront the way we’d treated each other.” 

“How so?” 

“We started talking because there was nothing else to do. We were trapped in the room together and somehow it gave us the chance to clear the air a bit. We talked about why he hated me, the miscommunication between us when we met, the difficulties we both faced as children of political figures. Essentially, we started to see each other for who we really are, rather than the images we’d projected.” 

“But you’re worried you won’t find the way to do that now?” 

Henry sighs. “Yes, I suppose. Then, I acted aloof, like I didn’t really care about anything. But now...I’m not projecting an image now.” He shakes his head. “When we originally got closer, there was no intent. I texted Alex, it would take a while, but he’d text me back. I never texted him with the intention to make him love me. I wanted to be with him, but never in my wildest dreams did I think he’d ever feel the same way. Slowly but surely, we talked more, joking and getting to know one another. But we didn’t start doing that  _ in order to  _ know one another. It just started slowly and changed as it continued. 

“Now, though, I think that if I try to bond with Alex how I did before, he’ll only see it as a way to recapture our marriage. I fear that he will rebuff me because he’ll see every gesture I make as an advance.” 

“And you think he won’t be responsive to it?” 

He leans his head against the back of the couch. “I’m not sure that he would be. And I don’t think I could take it if he wasn’t. Alex…” Henry feels his throat tighten. “Alex was the thing that changed everything in my life. If it weren’t for him, I think I’d probably be still closeted by my grandmother, forced into some fake marriage with a woman to keep up the reputation of the crown.” 

He trails off, running a hand down his face, tears building in his eyes. “Alex has been the bright spot in my life, especially in dark times. And now is another dark time and I don’t have him.” 

“But you do have him.” 

“But I don’t. He avoids me or is rude. He’s my husband, but he’s not the same man I married. And ultimately, I fear I’ll never figure out the way to win him over again and I’ll truly lose him.” 

“Is it possible for him to regain his memories?” 

“I don’t know. The doctor doesn’t seem to know. Brain injuries are unpredictable apparently. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose him. I don’t think I could recover from it.” 

“At a certain time, I’m sure you didn’t think you could recover from the loss of your father either. But here you are, living a full, meaningful life.” 

Henry sits with that for a moment. He doesn’t know how to compare the loss of his father to the situation with Alex. “I suppose you’re right. But it doesn’t feel that way.” 

“So, what should you do?” 

“I don’t know. What  _ should  _ I do?” 

“You need to find your supply closet this time around,” Dr. Wiley advises. 

“What do you mean?” 

“If you are truly worried about not being able to form a real bond with Alex this time around, you need to figure out a way to show Alex your true intentions and bond with him.” 

“I just don’t know how to do that. I worry he just thinks that any time I’m overly kind or helpful, I’m doing so just to lure him back into a marriage he doesn’t remember and doesn’t necessarily want to still be a part of.” 

“Why are you so certain that he doesn’t want to be a part of your marriage anymore?” 

“Perhaps it’s just fear. But he doesn’t want to be around me and it feels as though he doesn’t trust me.”

“Bonding with him will help you earn his trust.” Dr. Wylie makes some notes on her pad. “It doesn’t have to happen right away, but you should look for opportunities to bond with him naturally. If nothing else, it could help ease the anxiety you feel around your spouse.” 

Henry nods, staring down at his hands. 

“Also, I’d like to up the frequency of your sessions again. I fear this will bring up trauma from your past, make it harder to put behind you.” 

“That makes sense,” Henry says in a small voice. 

  
  


When Henry gets home, June stands to greet him, but he waves her off, heading for the stairs. He looks over and sees Alex watching him, a confused and almost concerned look on his face. Ruling it off as wishful thinking, he keeps walking toward his room where he stays for most of the day. His therapist says the bond doesn’t have to happen immediately. He takes some time to process the feelings stirring up in him after therapy.

They carry on in their tip-toeing for the next couple of weeks. Henry continues with his therapy. Alex continues avoiding Henry. There are a few noted exceptions. Oddly, meals are the times when they actually spend time together. It all starts with one morning when Henry doesn’t take his breakfast into his study. Alex sits at the other end of the table. They’re silent, but they’re together. Henry can’t help but wonder if that means something. 

From there, lunches and dinners are spent at the same table, sometimes silent, sometimes making forced small talk. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. At least, that’s what Henry tells himself. 

But on a particularly bad, raw day after therapy, progress seems to fail. 

Henry feels overcome. He shuts himself in his room, feeling like he can’t be around Alex. After a while, Nora lets herself in and sits next to him on the floor. 

“Need anything?” 

Henry shakes his head, his arms wrapped around his legs. 

“Want to be alone?” 

Oddly, he thinks he doesn’t want that either. He shakes his head again. Nora nods, scooting in closer to him. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close to her. Henry leans his head on her shoulder, feeling tears start to fall. 

“Do you want me to call Bea? Or Pez? I really don’t think it would be bad for Alex if they were here.” 

“No,” he chokes out. “I’ll be fine.” 

“The more you say that, the less we all believe it.” 

Henry wipes tears off his cheeks. “It’s all I’ve got.” He releases a ragged breath. “Just one of those days.” 

Nora nods, rubbing a hand along his arm. “Cry it out. I’m here.” 

* * *

Things have been different a bit in the last couple of weeks. Alex has made more of an effort to be around Henry. June’s voice in his head is the one that makes him sit at the table, even if neither of them say anything half the time. 

Today has been especially different. After Henry came back from another one of his  _ mystery  _ appointments, he shut himself away. Recently, he’s been keeping himself in more of the common areas of the house, maybe hoping that Alex will join him. Not today, though. Today, Alex is lucky if he sees him. Alex wanders to his door around lunch time when Henry doesn’t join him. 

Sometime after his solo lunch, Nora tags out June from their little game of keeping Alex supervised. They all think they have him fooled and they aren’t being obvious that they never leave him alone. He’s decided to let them have their delusion. 

He keeps on with his binge of  _ Parks & Rec _ , making Nora watch it with him. When they’re starting their fourth episode, Nora disappears. He hears her taking the stairs and wonders if she’s going to find Henry. A whole episode passes and she’s still gone, so Alex goes looking for her. 

Quietly, he walks up the stairs, listening for evidence of where either of them could be. Sounds of crying come from Henry’s room. Alex creeps closer, waiting outside the door. Neither Henry nor Nora notice him. They’re too wrapped up in each other. Alex notes the way they’re both holding each other, Henry’s head basically in Nora’s neck. 

And suddenly it all clicks together in Alex’s mind. 

  1. Disappearing from the room at the same time
  2. Going to vague appointments together
  3. The obvious closeness between them



He scoffs to himself as he walks away, shaking his head. 

Nora leaves shortly before dinner and Alex seethes silently through the meal. Henry doesn’t say anything. 

It’s not until Henry gets up to put his plate in the dishwasher that Alex finally speaks his mind. 

“So, did I know?” 

Henry turns around and narrows his eyes at him. “Did you know what?” 

“I mean before. Before my accident. Did I know about you and Nora?” 

“What on earth do you mean?” 

“Did I know that you and Nora were having an affair?” 

Henry pisses Alex off even further by laughing. “What?” 

“Did I know that you and Nora were having an affair?” 

“ _ Excuse me _ ?” Henry nearly shrieks. 

“I saw you two together earlier. Is that why you keep sneaking away during the day?” 

“You’re insane.” Henry starts to walk away but Alex follows him. 

“It all adds up. You’ve been so quiet and you keep avoiding me. What, it’s because you’re afraid I’m going to catch on to your big secret?” 

Henry turns around at the top of the stairs and faces Alex. “For the love of God, I’m not having an affair with Nora. I’m fucking  _ gay,  _ Alex!” He shakes his head as Alex rolls his eyes. “I would never,  _ never  _ do that to you. Or to June for that matter.” 

“What?” 

Henry holds the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his fingers. “Alex, I have not been  _ avoiding  _ you because I’m scared you’ll find about about some fucking affair. I’m avoiding you because I don’t know how to be around you. Nora was comforting me today because I had a rather hard session in therapy. That’s right, I’ve been going to therapy. I started going years ago because my father’s death rather fucked me up. Nora and June encouraged me to start going more regularly again because they could tell that my husband waking up from a coma and forgetting our entire relationship and all the while treating me with nothing but contempt and derision was fucking me up again. 

“You think you have me figured out but you don’t. I’m not the snobbish arsehole you think I am. But you wouldn’t know that because in the weeks since you’ve woken up, while I’ve been trying to help you reacclimate to your life, but you’ve done nothing to try and figure me out. I know that losing six years of your life must be hard, but you have no idea what it’s like on the other side of it. You have an image of me in your head and you’re not willing to change it. But I would never, ever do the things you’re accusing me of. And if you actually cared to get to know  _ me  _ and not the person you think I am, you’d know that.” 

And with that, he walks away from Alex, slamming the door to his bedroom in Alex’s face. It’s in that moment that Alex finally realizes that he doesn’t actually know anything.

He walks downstairs and paces. The feeling of guilt pools in his stomach, making him feel like a massive asshole. He never expected anything like that from Henry. And worse, he never expected to feel so awful afterward. It’s been hard on Alex to lose six years of his life, but he’s never really thought about what it must be like for Henry to have essentially lost his husband. Alex has spent so long thinking the marriage couldn’t be real that he’s never wondered what Henry must be feeling. 

He feels like the biggest asshole in the world. 

And he hates it. 

Alex pulls out his phone and calls June. “Can you send me your address?” he asks when she answers. 

“Why?” 

“Because I don’t remember where you  _ live _ !” 

“Okay, are you coming here?” 

“Yeah. I need to talk to you.” 

“What’s up?” 

Alex takes a deep breath and looks up the stairs towards Henry’s room. “I’m an asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm the worst. But bear with me! Alex will stop being so mean soon. Losing almost a third of your life has to be hard, right? Right?? 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I promise the next chapter will be soon!


	6. A Little Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quick updates are continuing! I felt like a jerk for leaving the last chapter the way I did, so I made sure to update with the resolution pretty quickly. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for all the love so far for this story!

Alex feels hesitant to leave the house without telling Henry, but he feels fairly confident that Henry doesn’t want to talk to him. It doesn’t take him too long to get to June’s place. He still feels like as much of an asshole as he did when he left. He needs June’s advice before he tries to settle things with Henry. The last thing he wants to do is make it worse. 

June answers the door with a curious look on her face. “So, why are you an asshole?” 

“This sounds like a fun line of conversation,” Nora chirps from the couch. 

Alex rolls his eyes and walks inside. He sits down in a chair and looks over at June and Nora sharing the couch. Both of them are watching him apprehensively. “I think I hurt Henry. Actually, that’s a stupid way to say that. I was an asshole to Henry and I’m certain I hurt him.” 

The girls look at each other before they look back at Alex. “What did you do?” June asks. 

Alex looks down at his hands folded in his lap. “I, uh, may have accused him of something pretty offensive.” 

“What was it?” June presses. 

“I, um, well, I accused him of having an affair with Nora,” Alex confesses in a small voice. 

Nora gapes at him. “Me?” Alex nods. “ _ Me _ ?” 

“Yeah. I’m clearly not proud of it.” 

Nora shakes her head at him while June looks downright furious. “Alex, he’s gay. Why on earth would he have an affair with me?” Nora asks. “Also, you realize I’d never do that to June or you!” 

“Okay, Henry said that too. What does that even mean?” June and Nora look at him before looking at each other and bursting out laughing. “You don’t have to be rude! Are you two...together?” 

June recovers from her laughter first. “Yeah, we are.” 

“How long?” 

“Let’s see here,” Nora says, “Your brain thinks it’s 2019, right?” Alex nods. “Well it was kind of happening then but we didn’t really define it until a while later.” Alex stares at them in shock. “Then for a while we were in a throuple with Henry’s friend Pez. That sort of just fizzled because we were here together and he was in England.” 

“We’re all still friends though,” June adds. 

“Yeah, and sometimes when he comes to town —” 

June smacks her arm. “Don’t tell him that!” 

Nora raises her arms in question. “What? It’s true!” 

“Yeah, June’s right. I don’t need to hear it.” He shakes his head, trying to let this new info process. “Are you guys happy?” 

They both nod fondly. “We are,” June assures him. 

“Good.” He chuckles to himself. “Might take me a minute to get used to it.” 

Nora smirks. “It did before too.” 

June smacks her hands to her lap. “Okay, let’s get back to Henry. How did he react to having these accusations flung at him?” 

“Um...not well.” 

“Well no shit, you dumbass,” June retorts. 

Alex sighs. “He yelled at me a lot and then slammed the door in my face.” 

“What did he say?” Nora presses. 

“He called me out a lot on the way I’ve been acting since the coma.” He tilts his head back and forth thoughtfully. “Kind of like June has told me as well.” She gives him an “I was right” look that he knows all too well from her. “Guys, I feel like such an asshole.” 

“I’d be concerned if you didn’t. That’s a pretty crazy thing to accuse someone of,” Nora says. 

“Did you guys know I’ve lost nearly a third of my life?” Alex tells them. 

“Statistically, it’s not a full third. You’re 27 and you lost six years, so —” 

June lays her hand on Nora’s arm. “You lost a significant amount of your life, yes.” 

Alex leans his head against the back of the chair. “Probably the most emotionally significant part of my life, right? I mean 21-27 is a big age gap to lose.” 

“It is,” June agrees. “But you’ve always been resilient and you can still be here. You just can’t shoot yourself in the foot.” 

“You mean by potentially burning bridges with the people trying to help me?” 

June nods. “Yeah, that’s not great.” She sits forward and pins him with a look. “Alex, no one is saying this isn’t hard for you. We’re just saying you’re not the only one it’s hard for.” 

“What do I do?” 

“You just adjust,” Nora says. “Not much else you can do. You’ve done it before. You adjusted when your parents divorced, when you moved to D.C. You adjusted when you realized you weren’t straight.” 

“I meant what do I do to fix things with Henry,” Alex clarifies. “But also, how did I realize I wasn’t straight?” 

Nora chuckles. “Henry kissed you.” 

“ _ He  _ initiated things between us?” 

They both laugh. “Yep.” 

“Huh, I would have thought it was the other way around.” He shakes his head, trying to get back on task. “Okay, you two know him better than I do. How do I fix things?” 

“So you  _ want  _ to fix things?” June asks. 

Alex glares at her. “I feel like an asshole.” 

“Okay, but you’ve been either dodging him or insulting him since you got home. Why the sudden change now?” 

“I don’t know. Because he called me out and put me in my place. Made me realize I’d been taking out my frustrations on him and not realizing what I was doing. I don’t know the why of it, June. I just know that I need to.” 

She nods, her eyes dropping to his hands. “You still wear your ring.” 

Alex holds out his hand, looking at it himself. “It was still on in the hospital.” 

“You’ve been home for weeks,” she reminds him. 

“Yeah, and?” 

“Okay, if you don’t care about your husband, why do you still wear his ring?” 

“I never said I don’t care about him!” Alex defends. “I just...I find it hard to believe that it’s true, okay? I don’t remember how it happened and it’s hard for me to accept that I ended up married to Henry.” 

“Then why still wear the ring?” 

Alex reaches out and touches the metal with his other hand. He rubs his finger along the band. “I don’t know. The day I got home, I went to take it off and I couldn’t. I don’t know why. Maybe it was some echo in my mind telling me not to do it, but I couldn’t take it off. Or maybe I thought I’d see that same sad face from Henry and I didn’t want to.” 

“For someone who views him as their enemy, you sure do think about him a lot,” Nora says, a smirk on her face. “Then again, that was always the case.” 

“I’m thinking about him now because I feel bad. So let’s get back on topic. How do I fix things?” 

“Alex, this isn’t hard,” June says. “Just apologize.” 

“I don’t feel like that’s going to be enough.” He starts to wring his hands. “You guys said it. Henry said it. I’ve treated him like crap. I don’t think simply saying sorry is enough.” 

Nora looks over at June, deep in thought. She turns back to Alex. “Sexual favors off the table?” 

“My god, Nora,” Alex groans. He can’t wrap his mind around that right now, even if he’s definitely noticed how attractive Henry is. Now is not the time.

June is more helpful. “Here’s what you do. Go into your kitchen. There’s the pantry cabinet right inside the doorway, right?” Alex nods. “On the third drawer from the top, there are several boxes of something called Jaffa Cakes.” 

“Jaffa Cakes?” 

June nods. “They’re his favorite. He has Pez send them to him when he hasn’t been back to the U.K. to replenish his stock. Take him a pack, apologize, show you want to make things right. I really think that’ll make it better. And then, you know, don’t act like a dick going forward.” Alex rolls his eyes. “Maybe, when you’re having a hard time, talk about it instead of lashing out.” 

“You really think this cake thing will work?” 

Both Nora and June nod. “Absolutely. You just might want to mention that we mentioned the treat because otherwise he might get his hopes up that you remembered them on your own.” 

“Good call.” 

“Anything else you need to talk about?” June asks. 

Alex sits for a moment. “I don’t think so. I should take care of this sooner rather than later.” 

“Yeah, you really should.” 

Alex stands up, heading for the door when he turns around and looks at Nora. “Numbers on him forgiving me?” 

Nora grins. “99% chance of forgiveness, 87% chance that he’ll hold it over your head once things are solid between you again.” 

Alex laughs despite himself. “I’ll take those odds.” He walks over and hugs both of them. “Thanks for your help tonight. Sometime when I’m not being eaten up by guilt, let’s talk about this,” he says, waving a hand between them. 

They both laugh. “Okay. Let me know when you get home,” June says. 

“Will do.” 

  
  


Alex opens the door quietly, sneaking back in, even if he’s not sure why. He looks up at the stairs reflexively. With a nod, he turns off for the kitchen and goes to the very drawer June described. Pulling it open, he sees three boxes of the snack she mentioned. He takes a deep breath and pulls out a packet, hoping this really works as well as they promised it would. 

His footsteps slow as he trudges toward Henry’s room. Alex has never been the best at admitting when he’s wrong. This is going to be even worse than that. Part of him hopes that Henry lets him off easy. The other part knows he doesn’t really deserve that. 

Alex knocks once at the door and opens it before he gets a response. He won’t give Henry the opportunity to turn him away. Maybe that’s selfish. He’s not sure. 

Stepping inside the room, he realizes it’s the first time he’s been in the room that used to be his. He takes a moment to look around at the room before his eyes settle on Henry’s curled up figure on the bed. For a split second, Alex thinks he’s asleep until he turns his head and looks at Alex over his shoulder. 

“What?” Henry asks. He looks somewhere between defeated and wary. 

Alex freezes in the doorway where he’s standing. He hates that he knows for a fact now that  _ he  _ made that look appear on Henry’s face. Before, he could justify it as the accident. It wasn’t  _ his  _ fault, it was the accident. But after the fight, Alex knows there’s no other option. It’s him. 

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Alex tells him in a small voice. 

Henry rolls his eyes a bit and turns back to how he was laying when Alex walked in. 

“Look, I mean it,” Alex tries, taking a step closer. “I’m sorry for how I acted, for the things I accused you of. I feel awful. I never should have said any of it.” 

“Then why did you?” Henry asks, still not turned to him. 

“I don’t know.” Alex feels the ball of anxiety getting tighter in his stomach. “I think I…” he stops, taking a deep breath. It grabs Henry’s attention, turning him over to lay on his back, looking at Alex. “I think I was looking for a flaw in our past relationship,” Alex admits. Without meaning to, his thumb goes to his ring finger, stroking the metal against his skin. 

“Why?” Henry’s voice is small, weak. 

Alex can feel tears building in his eyes and he can’t even explain why. “I think I wanted there to be something wrong with it. That way…” He takes another deep breath, letting his tears fall. “That way I didn’t lose something perfect.” 

When Alex finally dares to make eye contact with Henry, he can see fresh tears falling down his cheeks as well. “Oh.” 

Alex clears his throat. “I mean, I don’t really know you. You know, aside from random interactions over the years. That’s all I’ve got in here. And yet, I look around this house and there are pictures of us looking so fucking happy that it feels impossible.” Henry flashes him a sad smile and nods. “And I don’t know how to deal with it because  _ I don’t remember it.  _ You were right. I didn’t take the time to actually get to know who you are outside of the perceptions I had of you six years ago. And I guess I handled the stress of all this by just being a jerk to you. It’s wrong and I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to  _ do. _ ” 

Henry almost looks relieved. He wipes the tears from his face and nods. “You know, you could have talked to me about this. I know you don’t really know me and you don’t trust me, but I could try to help.” 

“I know. June told me I should talk to you.” Alex shakes his head. “I should have instead of just lashing out. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Don’t say that. It’s not okay. I was an asshole,” Alex responds. “You don’t have to lie and say it’s okay.” 

Henry nods, clearly unsure what to say instead. 

“Was it?” Alex asks. 

“Was it what?” Henry looks confused. 

“ You know,  _ us _ ? Was it perfect?” 

Fresh tears fall from Henry’s eyes. He looks anywhere but at Alex. “I mean, nothing is really perfect,” he deflects. 

“But we were?” Alex presses. 

Henry glances back at him, a hopeless look in his eyes. “Just about.” 

Alex lets out a long sigh. He looks down at his hand, remembering the snack for Henry. He tosses it over to the bed, surprising him. Henry picks it up and looks at him with a questioning expression. “Nora and June suggested it.” 

“Ahh,” Henry says, nodding as he looks down at the package in his hand. “Thank you.” 

“I am sorry, Henry.” 

He looks over at Alex. “I accept your apology.” 

Alex nods. He’s not sure what to do now. “Thank you.” Alex doesn’t feel like he can leave yet. This is the first real conversation they’ve had since Alex woke up from his coma. He steps a bit closer to the bed. “If it makes you feel at all better, our relationship apparently isn’t the only one I’ve forgotten.” Henry gives him a confused look as he sits up. “I had no idea about June and Nora,” he confesses. “It’s been weeks and I never figured that out.” 

Henry laughs before taking a bite of one of the cakes. “Well if it makes you feel at all better, it was the same way last time too.” 

“Seriously?” Alex asks. He moves over and sits on the trunk at the end of the bed. Somehow, sitting  _ on  _ the bed seems like too much. 

Henry nods, a grin on his face. Alex thinks this is the first time he’s seen Henry even remotely close to happy. “Yeah, you were totally blind to it. I sort of had to spell it out for you.” 

“I guess that sounds pretty on brand for me. Especially if I didn’t really realize I was into guys until you kissed me.” Henry’s eyes go wide as he looks at Alex. “They told me that too.” 

And just like that, a spark in Henry’s eyes goes back out. “Ahh.” He lifts the snack to take a bite before pausing. “Would you care to try it?” Henry asks, holding it out to Alex. 

Alex sees something on his face that makes him pause. “Do I like these?”

“I’ve no idea,” Henry replies. There’s a definite glint in his eye. 

“You’re fucking with me aren’t you?” Alex asks, laughing. “I hate these, don’t I?” 

“If you hated these, why would you have had a separate cake made for our wedding styled after them?” 

“I did that?” 

Henry smiles fondly, nodding. “You did.” 

He watches Henry for a second before reaching out and taking the cake from him. Alex takes a bite of it, feeling his nose scrunch the longer he chews it. “Eww, how are these your favorite?” Henry just laughs heartily in reply. “So you  _ were  _ just fucking with me?” 

He grins. “Consider it payback for accusing me of sleeping with a  _ woman. _ ” 

Alex shocks himself by laughing loudly. “I suppose that’s fair.” 

Henry chuckles around another bite of Jaffa Cakes. And in that moment, Alex feels hope for the first time since he woke up. Maybe things can get better. Maybe the first step is fixing things with Henry. Alex knows it’s not fixed by any means. He still has a lot to learn about Henry. But for the first time, it doesn’t make him anxious to think about it. 

He’s maybe even a little excited. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about time these two were getting along, right? Thanks for reading!


	7. Marathon of Togetherness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping my updating streak alive! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It’s unsurprising if Alex really thinks about it, but things start to get more comfortable around the house once they’ve started being more open with each other. He hates that June was right, though, yet again, he shouldn’t be surprised. They actually talk when they eat their meals together. Henry isn’t really working, so the two of them spend a good amount of time in the house together. Alex doesn’t feel the need to shut himself away. There are still times when being around Henry feels like too much pressure, but those moments are fewer and farther between. 

He’s starting to learn that Henry’s rough days come with the territory. June mentions offhandedly that he has good times and bad times and Alex was there for all of them. Since seeing the state Alex had left him in after his accusations, he feels much more sensitive to Henry’s bad times, even if he can’t fully articulate  _ why.  _

Alex is sitting on the couch one day with David laying half on his lap and half next to him. He’s absentmindedly running a hand over his back, feeling pretty relaxed. When the door opens, Alex turns his head to look at Henry coming back inside. 

“Hey!” Alex calls. That’s something else that’s started to change. They greet each other more easily than before. 

“Hi,” Henry says with a tight smile. He looks around the room as he stands at the back of the couch. “Where’s June?” 

“She had to run to work. Apparently some deadline couldn’t wait,” Alex informs him. Henry nods, a blank stare following. Alex can’t help but watch him. “You okay?” 

Henry shrugs. “I’m —” 

“You know you don’t have to say you’re fine all the time, right?” Alex cuts him off. 

There’s a ghost of a smile on Henry’s face. “I know.” 

“If you need some time alone, I’m doing okay here,” Alex says, turning back to the tv. “I’m just allowing myself all the lazy time I never let myself have before.” He looks back at Henry. “You don’t have to call in one of my other babysitters. I can manage on my own.” 

Henry opens and closes his mouth a couple times. 

“Yeah, I’m observant enough to know that you guys weren’t leaving me alone.” 

“I’m sorry. Since you don’t really know New York and things have been off, we just —” 

“I get it,” Alex says, raising a hand to assure him. “You’re good.” 

Henry nods, standing there silently for a long moment. He seems almost lost. Alex wants to do something, but he’s not sure what he’d do if he hadn’t lost six years worth of memories. And the last thing he’d want to do is the  _ wrong  _ thing. Finally, with a sigh, he says, “I’m gonna head upstairs.” 

“Okay,” Alex chirps. He looks down at the dog on his lap. “You want David to join you?” 

Henry looks down over the other side of the couch and sees David curled on Alex’s lap. An earnest smile crosses his face as he leans down and rubs his hand behind David’s ears. “Nah,” he says. “He looks pretty comfy here.” 

“We’re becoming friends,” Alex tells him proudly. 

Henry chuckles. “I can see that.” He pats David on the head. As he’s standing up, he plants a kiss at Alex’s temple and both of them freeze. Henry starts sputtering. “Sorry, I — it, I don’t… It was just instinct.” 

Alex shakes his head. “You’re fine.” Henry nods awkwardly before finally walking away and going up the stairs. He sits there for a while, watching Leslie lead a disastrous open forum on  _ Parks & Rec  _ before an idea strikes him. “I think I have a great idea, David. You want to help?” 

The dog looks up at him, no expression on his face. “How about we take you for a walk and I tell you my plan?” 

Alex turns off the show and calls up to let Henry know he’s taking David out. He scopes out the neighborhood on his walk and spots the market a few blocks away from them. His plan is solidified and feels great to be doing something for Henry instead of the other way around. 

By their typical dinnertime, the house smells delightful and Alex feels lighter. He talks to David as he goes through each step of the meal, though the dog clearly couldn’t care less. He’s not going to reap the benefits of this anyway. Alex is delicately taking the pan out of the oven when Henry walks in with a confused look on his face. 

“Oh, hey. I was just about to bring you up a plate,” Alex says. 

“You made dinner?” 

Alex nods, closing the oven door. “I did. I made enchiladas. It’s my grand—” 

“Your grandmother’s recipe, yeah.” 

Alex chuckles. “Figures you’d know. Anyway, it was something I knew that I knew how to make. I found the market down the street.” 

“You didn’t have to do this,” Henry remarks. It’s not entirely convincing because he looks like he’s about to drool. 

“I wanted to do something for a change.” The look Henry gives him in reply is a bit too intense for Alex at that moment. He turns to go get plates and put them on the stove next to the dish. “Anyway,” he recovers, “I’m not going to be offended if you miss a meal.” 

Henry shakes his head, handing Alex a serving utensil. “I’m alright.” He stands a bit closer than normal. “These look delicious.” 

“They better be,” Alex says, turning and handing him a plate. 

They sit at either end of the table — a bit further apart than they used to pre-accident, based on the look Henry gave him the first time Alex sat there. For one of Henry’s off days, he seems to be rebounding. He smiles after a bite of enchiladas and it makes Alex happier than he thinks it should. 

  
  


A few days later, Alex comes downstairs to see Henry on the couch, watching some documentary on tv. “What’s this?” Alex asks, leaning over the back of the couch. 

Henry glances over at him before looking back at the tv. “It’s a ten part documentary on Greek Mythology.” 

Alex bursts out laughing. “Of course you would.” 

Henry just shrugs. “This particular part is discussing the Pleiades.” 

_ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad.  _

Alex hears the line in his head, jolting him. He freezes, trying to figure out what the hell that comes from. Where has he heard that line before? His brain almost hurts as he strains to remember it. 

Henry looks over at him. “You okay?” 

Alex shakes his head and looks over at him. “Hmm?” 

“You have an odd look on your face.” 

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Just uh, trying to wrap my head around sitting down to watch some documentary about Greek Mythology,” he teases, turning the attention away from himself. He’s not sure what happened just now. 

Henry tuts. “I can see if something else was on. Just let me hit record on this.” 

“You’re recording it?” 

“I enjoy Greek Mythology. Leave me alone,” Henry says with a laugh. Alex wanders into the kitchen to get himself something to drink. “Oh it looks like  _ Star Wars _ is on.” 

“Fuck yes!” Alex calls from the kitchen. “Which one?” 

“Looks like  _ Empire _ . They’re on Hoth.” 

Alex eagerly runs back over, nearly sloshing his cup of water as he plants himself down on the couch. “This is a much better option, you have to admit.” He gives Henry a look. “Wait, have you seen  _ Star Wars _ ?” 

“I just told you which one it was  _ based  _ on where they were. I think I’ve seen it before.” 

Alex laughs. “Good point. I just didn’t know the royal family was allowed to engage in pop culture.” Henry merely rolls his eyes in response. “This one’s my favorite.” 

“Yes, I know.”

Alex clears his throat nervously. “Oh yeah, of course you would.” He’s silent for a moment, wanting to disappear into the movie. “Which one’s your favorite?” 

He looks over to see Henry with an odd look on his face. “Uh, same.  _ Empire _ .” Alex watches him for a moment, wondering why he’s being weird. Henry just flashes him a disingenuous smile and turns back to the tv. 

Part of Alex wants to question it, wants to poke until Henry gives in and admits why he was acting weirdly. He doesn’t though, he turns back to the tv and allows himself to watch one of his favorite movies. He and Henry make comments throughout the movie and it’s the most natural they’ve felt since Alex’s accident. 

“Wait a minute,” Henry whispers, looking over at Alex with a look of shock. “You lost your memories back to summer of 2019, right?” 

“Yeah…” 

“You don’t remember the last  _ Star Wars  _ movie, do you?” 

Alex’s jaw drops open as he realizes that Henry’s right. “I remember losing my mind over a trailer, but no, I don’t remember it.” 

“Well that simply cannot stand,” Henry says with a grin on his face. “Here’s what I propose.” 

Alex rubs his hands together, turning toward Henry. “I’m already excited.” 

“We have to have a marathon. We start with the prequels.” Alex scrunches his nose. “Chronological order, Alex, come on.” Alex nods begrudgingly. “Then the original trilogy. Then the sequels. What do you think?” 

“Can we squeeze in  _ Rogue One _ ?” 

Henry nods approvingly. “Oh, I think we should. We could do three days of it. First, the prequels and  _ Rogue One _ . Tomorrow?” Alex nods excitedly. “Okay, and then the next day, the original trilogy. And then the next day after that, the last three.” He laughs to himself. “Is it bad how excited I am for this?” 

Alex laughs with him. “No, because I am equally excited.” They sit there, talking about how great the plan is when Alex laughs at some other idea in his head. “Man, I’m sure when we got together, gossip sites went wild. And yet, this is our reality, the two of us being huge nerds together.” 

Henry laughs with him. “Yeah, when we got engaged, we were the cover story on  _ People _ . And before the interview, we joked about what we would tell them if they asked what we liked to do in our free time.” 

“We were on the cover?” 

Henry stands up and walks over to the cabinet under one of the bookshelves. He pulls out a magazine and tosses it in Alex’s direction. Alex catches it and looks at the cover. The two of them are looking at each other, sharing a laugh. It’s honestly beautiful. He looks up at Henry and says, “You saved it?” 

He shakes his head with a grin. “No,  _ you  _ saved it. You said it was the best cover because neither of us beat the other out. We shared the honors.” 

Alex laughs. “Of course I did.” He looks down and stares at it for a long time. Yet again, they look so happy. No wonder he wanted to save it. 

  
  


Alex is ridiculously giddy as they start their marathon the next day. Henry looks just as delighted. They make their breakfast and take it into the living room to eat while they watch  _ The Phantom Menace _ . Neither of them can stay silent, making comments throughout the whole thing. 

They take a few minutes between movies and are back for the next one, still just as jazzed. The rest of the day follows with small breaks and more movies and it’s the happiest Alex has been since he woke up from his coma. June comes in part way through  _ Revenge of the Sith _ and they yell at her until she stops talking and sits down with them. 

The first day of the marathon is amazing. The second day is even more amazing. He and Henry get into heated conversations between movies. It’s fun for him to have found something Henry is so passionate about. It’s even more fun that it’s something he is equally passionate about. When they’re toward the end of  _ Return of the Jedi,  _ Alex thinks he sees Henry wiping a tear away, but he’s sure he just imagined it. 

The third day of the marathon is brilliant. Alex is remembering watching those in theaters, dragging June with him and nerding out in bliss. He wishes he remembers seeing the last one as well. 

“Did we go to  _ Rise of Skywalker  _ together?” he asks Henry. 

“Uh, no. We weren’t together yet when it came out.” 

“Ahh.” 

Henry chuckles. “No, I went to the premiere with Pez.” 

Alex freezes, looking over at him. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

He shakes his head with a large grin on his face. “That was basically your reaction then too. I sent you a picture of me and BB-8 and you got so mad at me.” 

“Rightfully so.” 

“When I sent you the picture of me and Mark Hamill, you just stopped replying,” Henry says through a laugh. 

“You fucking met Luke Skywalker?”

“I did.” Henry jumps up and walks into his office, bringing a picture back with him. He hands it to Alex. “I joked that I should frame it and you told me I was an asshole.” 

“I stand by that.” He looks down at the picture and notes the smile on Henry’s face. It’s nice to see. He’s been seeing it more the last few days. Alex shakes his head and hands it back to Henry with a roll of his eyes. “Asshole,” he mutters. Henry laughs, that smile broadly on his face. 

  
  


Two days after they finish their epic marathon, Alex walks down after a shower to see Henry sitting stiffly on the couch. He looks over at him with a nervous expression on his face. The tv has Netflix pulled up, but nothing queued. 

“What’s up?” Alex asks, hovering near the couch. 

“I had an idea,” Henry tells him. 

“Okay.” He smiles encouragingly at Henry. “I was a fan of your last idea, so I think I’ll probably be good with this one.” 

“I don’t know,” Henry says, not looking at him. 

“Henry,” Alex says with a look. 

Henry takes a deep breath and looks over at him again. “I thought we could watch the wedding.” 

“The wedding?” 

“Our wedding,” he clarifies. 

“Oh,” Alex says, blown away by the suggestion. It makes sense, especially if he’s supposed to be learning about what his life was before. Somehow, he feels nervous about it. No wonder Henry was anxious. He looks at the tv and a new question springs to mind. “Wait, is our wedding on Netflix?” 

Henry laughs nervously. “Yeah, it is.” 

“That’s insane.” 

“I agree, but it was supposedly public domain. I don’t know.” Henry takes a deep breath. “What do you think?” 

Alex bounces on his feet slightly before he nods and moves over to the couch. “Okay. Let’s do it.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. Turn it on.” 

He’s seen the pictures, but he’s still not sure what to be prepared for when it comes to the wedding. It’s truly insane to him that his own wedding is on fucking Netflix. Royal families are crazy. It’s crazier to him that he’s actually part of a royal family. 

Henry hits play and there’s a fanfare tune at the beginning, panning around London, some British narrator talking about the historic day. Alex feels stiff, like he can’t move, can’t do anything but stare at the screen. Every so often, he can feel Henry’s eyes on him, but he never turns to meet them. 

He sees Henry arrive, while commenters discuss how he diverged from tradition by arriving with his  _ sister  _ and not his brother. Alex notes everything from Henry’s royal garb to Bea’s pretty green dress and her matching fascinator. The two of them look positively elated as they walk into the church together, waving to the cheering crowds waiting outside the Abbey. 

It shows various celebrity guests arriving, including Pez, June, and Nora, as well as random famous people that Alex is surprised he and Henry even knew. Eventually, he and his mother pull up in a car and Alex steps out first, helping his mother out as well. Ellen looks beautiful in a blue dress, also with a matching hat. She whispers something to Alex and he laughs, waving to the crowd as he says something back to her. He looks at his own outfit — his tux — wondering if he picked that out himself or if some royal planner did. It looks good on him either way, but he can’t help but wonder. 

Ellen escorts Alex down the aisle and Henry waits with a smile of awe at the other end. It flashes between them, showing how eager both of them are for this moment. Alex shares a moment with his mother before he stops at her seat and she pats his arm, letting him go on to Henry alone. 

There are many different readings, verses, poems, songs, all picked to encapsulate  _ them  _ as a couple. Alex wonders, yet again, how much of it they got to choose. They look happy together. Henry whispers something to Alex and he grins back in response. They walk off, out of the camera’s view, and the narrator informs the viewers (and Alex) that this is where they make their private vows and have their first kiss as a married couple in private, just the officiant and their mothers present. 

Then it’s the procession. Alex and Henry link arms, walking down the aisle with matching grins on their faces as they move past all their wedding guests. The narrator comments on what their reception might hold, and vocally wonders if they’ll have an incident with a cake. Alex’s brow furrows, wondering what that means. 

It shows as the two of them walk out of the church and into a royal carriage waiting for them. It includes their parade from Westminster Abbey to Buckingham, with them waving to adoring members of the public, even from the United States. And it ends with them on the Buckingham Palace balcony, surrounded by their family, kissing in front of thousands of people. 

His observation from before was right. He’s not sure he’s ever seen himself  _ that  _ happy. 

Yet again, he wishes he could remember it. 

When the credits start to roll, Alex takes a deep breath. He can feel Henry’s eyes on him again. 

“Wow,” is all he can find the words to say. 

“It was quite a production,” Henry jokes. Alex knows him well enough at this point to know that he’s covering up his nerves. 

“Yeah, it really was.” He shrugs. “I guess it was a pretty big deal. First big gay royal wedding.” 

“History,” Henry whispers, almost to himself. 

Alex feels like he has to give Henry  _ something. _ He clears his throat. “I’m glad I watched it.” 

Henry just nods in reply. 

Neither of them can say why, but Henry retreats to his office and Alex goes up to his bedroom. Somehow, being together after that feels like too much. He needs some time to process the fucking  _ joy  _ of that day. That day that he can’t remember on his own. 

And as he lays in his room, trying to think of anything but Henry and their wedding, that line pops into his head again. 

_ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* what does it all mean??? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!! I've appreciated all the love for this story so far!


	8. We Keep This Love in a Photograph

Henry is sitting reading a book when he notices Alex looking at one of the pictures on their bookshelf. It’s not the first time it’s happened, in fact, it happens fairly often. Alex consistently wanders around, looking at each of the personalized effects in their home. Right now, he’s staring at a picture of the Super Six from one of the New Year’s Eve parties that Alex, Nora, and June threw. 

Not wanting to be caught watching Alex, Henry turns back to his book, knowing that Alex will ask if he’s curious. That’s something that’s been happening recently. Alex has become more curious about his life from before. It took a while after waking up, but it’s like he finally wants to know what he’s missing. Henry has been more than happy to fill in the blanks when Alex asks him to. 

“Henry?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Can I ask you something about this picture?” Henry jumps up and walks over, standing next to Alex. He’s staring intently at the picture, his brows furrowed. It’s like his mind is straining, daring his brain to provide the memory of that night. He looks over at Henry. “When was this?” 

Henry feels a smile blooming on his face as he stares at the picture, fond memories coming to mind. He wishes the same could happen for Alex. “That was one of the New Years parties at the White House.” 

“What year was it?” 

Henry looks at it critically, pausing like he doesn’t already know, doesn’t remember just based on the suit Alex was wearing or the tie Henry wore just because Alex had given it to him a week before at Christmas. “I think that was 2020.” He smiles mainly to himself. “That was the first New Years we were together.” With a laugh, he adds, “We deemed that our anniversary.” 

Alex tears himself away from the picture to look closer at Henry. “We got together on New Year’s Eve?” 

Henry shrugs. “In a way. I kissed you on New Years.” 

“Like at midnight?” 

Henry finds himself laughing. “No, actually. It was a bit afterward.” He can feel Alex’s eyes on him but he keeps his eyes trained on the picture. He picks it up off the shelf. “This was in 2020 after a very long, chaotic, and ultimately wonderful year.” 

“That’s your sister, right? Beatrice?” Alex points at her. Henry nods. “And that’s your friend, Pez?” 

“Yes, that’s them. The six of us formed quite the tight knit group.” 

Henry hears Alex take a shaky breath. He looks over, a bit concerned, but Alex is still staring down at the picture in Henry’s hands. Slowly, he moves to put it back in its place on the shelf.

“So, we were all friends?” 

Henry watches him for a moment, but he won’t meet Henry’s eyes. “Yeah.” 

“Did something happen? Did we have a falling out?” 

“What? No, no of course not. Why?” 

“I’m not...the best at staying friends with people. And, well, it’s been a while since I woke up, but neither of them have…” 

Henry closes his eyes, feeling like a proper idiot. “Alex, the reason Pez and Bea haven’t been here is because of me.” 

“What?” Alex turns to look at him. 

Henry blows out a breath, feeling awful. “They both wanted to come while you were in a coma, but had other things they couldn’t leave. So then, when you woke up, they kept saying they were going to come and I told them not to.” Henry walks over and sits back down on the couch. “You were having a hard enough time just being around me, I didn’t...I didn’t know if you were up to seeing people you didn’t even remember, people who might try to make you remember them.” 

“Oh,” Alex says, seemingly short of other words. “Gotcha.” Henry feels so guilty looking at the lost look on Alex’s face. Maybe he should have let Bea and Pez come to New York. Alex follows him over to the couch. “Somehow it wouldn’t surprise me if I’d pissed them off or something. I have a friend from Texas who stopped talking to me.” 

“Liam?” 

Alex whips his head over and looks at Henry in shock. “Yeah. You know about him?” 

“I know him.” Henry pulls out his phone, sliding in his photos back to May when Liam and Spencer came to New York. He turns the phone to Alex and shows him the picture of the four of them at a rooftop bar in Manhattan. 

Alex stares at it in awe, taking the phone from Henry. “Oh my God. Liam talks to me again?” 

“Yeah, it happened around your mum’s re-election.” 

“Who’s the other guy?” 

“Liam’s husband, Spencer.” 

Alex grins. “He’s married too? Good for him.” 

“They’ve both checked in with me numerous times since your accident,” Henry tells him. Alex looks up at him with a surprised look on his face. “They were concerned.” 

“They knew about the accident? My mom said they were trying to keep the press out of things.” 

“Well, yeah, I texted Liam one day when I was sitting at the hospital. I figured I’d keep our friends in the loop.” 

“We’re that close?” 

Henry shrugs. “We went to their wedding. They flew all the way to England to go to our wedding. Any time we’ve been in Texas since 2020, we’ve made time to at least get lunch with them. You and Liam mended fences and became friends again.” 

“Wow. That’s...great. Shocking, but great.” Alex hands the phone back to Henry. “He must think I’m an asshole because I haven’t reached out in all the weeks since I’ve been awake.” 

He chuckles in reply. “I doubt that. He knows about the memory loss.” 

“Thanks for showing me that,” Alex says, flashing Henry a shy smile. 

“You’re welcome.” 

There’s a long silence between them where neither quite knows what to do or say. David thankfully takes that moment to jump up on the couch between them. Their hands meet as they both go to pet him. 

“I should probably take David for a walk,” Henry says. 

Alex stands up with him. “I could...go with you. If that’s okay.” 

“Of course it is.” 

“Great. I’ll go put my shoes on.” 

Alex disappears out of the room and Henry looks down at David, raising his eyebrows. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he whispers to the dog. 

They start out the walk a bit quiet at first, but slowly start to warm up to each other again. “Can I ask you a question?” Alex says, breaking a small bout of silence. 

“Of course.” 

He takes a deep breath, side stepping a bike tied to a lamp post. “Why did I become a lawyer?” 

Henry’s been waiting for this moment. In the time since Alex woke up, he’s feared for this moment because he feared that Alex would blame him for being behind on his dreams. He never told Alex what he did for a living, but it’s entirely possible that June or Nora mentioned it. Alex must have wondered. 

“Well,” Henry says, clearing his throat a bit. “There were a lot of things that contributed to it. One of them was your Texas binder.” 

“I showed you that?” Alex asks with a laugh. 

“Your pride and joy? Yes, you certainly did.” Henry looks over at him. “There were a lot of things you wanted to be able to change and I think law school was always at the back of your mind, even when you were steadfastly ignoring it. But you took the LSATs on a whim and being  _ you,  _ you did a great job on them. You’d made the decision to go to law school by the time your mum got re-elected.” He pauses, wondering how to tell him all of this and make it convincing. “You never said as much — at least not to me — but I think you wanted a bit of time to just  _ be.  _ If that makes any sense.” 

“It doesn’t, but that’s okay,” Alex says. “But I didn’t go because my parents pushed me?” 

“Fuck no,” Henry says with a laugh, shocking Alex. “I don’t think there’s any choice you’ve made in the last six years, or maybe ever in your life, because your parents wanted to.” 

“Does that mean my parents approved of us?” 

Henry laughs heartily. “Your family was far more accepting of us than my family was.” 

“Must be because they’re Democrats.” 

“Might be. Might also be because they’re good people. Can’t really say the same of my gran.” 

“What about the rest of your family?” 

Henry flashes back to the day he and Alex went before his family to convince them that they should be able to go public with their relationship. “Mum and Bea were completely in our corner. You and Bea had already spent some time together at that point. And even if you hadn’t, I think she’d have been on board because of how happy you made me. Mum didn’t even know I was gay until…” He trails off, pointedly talking around the emails. This is not the time for that conversation. “Until you,” he recovers. “I don’t think Philip cared about you and me as a couple, he was just convinced that me being gay was a bad reflection on the crown.” 

“If you’re going to one day convince me to like your brother, this is not a great start. I won’t forget a comment like that.” 

Henry laughs. “You can make your own decisions on him. He’s gotten better in certain ways since then, but it’s hard to undo years of beating someone down.” 

He’s honestly a bit shocked that he said that to Alex, but is even more shocked when Alex reaches out and lays his hand on Henry’s shoulder, flashing him a sympathetic smile. Henry’s not really sure how to respond to that. “Anyway, we didn’t really care what anyone thought of us anyway.” 

“Like all the colonizers in Britain who I’m sure were pissed that a prince was marrying a half-mexican  _ man _ .” 

Henry nods. “Yep, there was a bit of that.” 

“Can I ask you another question?” 

“Alex, you can ask me anything.” 

He nods in reply. “Which one of us...proposed?” 

Henry keeps his eyes firmly on David in front of him. “You did,” he says in a small voice. He almost wonders if Alex heard him until he replies. 

“Oh.” 

“Not to say that we wouldn’t be married if you hadn’t,” Henry adds, even if he’s unsure why he’s talking. “If you hadn’t, I would have.” 

There’s a bit of a pause where Henry forces himself to stay silent. “So we were just meant to be, huh?” 

Henry looks over at him but he can’t read Alex’s face. “Perhaps,” he says simply. 

  
  


Henry walks past Alex making his coffee and sits at the kitchen table. He watches him, knowing he hasn’t made his own coffee since he woke up. Henry also knows — but not Alex — that he was usually the one to make it even before the accident. 

He sips on his tea and takes a bite of his eggs as he waits for Alex to be finished with his coffee. Alex brings it over and sits down at the table. He’s still further away than he used to be, but Alex isn’t all the way at the end anymore. He’s more in the middle. 

Alex takes a sip of his coffee while looking at his phone, grimacing and staring at his cup as he swallows. “What did I do wrong?” Alex says to himself. 

Henry bites his lip. Alex has been wanting to be independent, but he’s also wanted to know more about their lives. He’s debating what to tell him. 

“Have I started taking my coffee a different way in the last six years?” 

Henry shakes his head. 

Alex stands up and walks over to the coffee maker. He grabs the bag of grounds and holds it up to Henry. “This is what you were using right?” Henry nods. “Then I don’t get why it tastes wrong.” 

“It’s the love,” Henry mumbles to himself. 

“What did you say?” 

“Huh, nothing.” 

Alex walks back over, his eyes narrowed. He puts his hands flat on the table, standing over Henry. He’s somehow forgotten just how serious Alex can get about his coffee. “Henry, what did you say?” 

Henry rolls his eyes and looks up at Alex. He’s almost taken aback by how close his face is. Alex hasn’t gotten this close to him since his accident. “I said it’s the love.” 

“What does that mean?” 

He sighs and takes another bite of his eggs to give himself time to respond. “It was something that you said once. We got into this routine. I’d shower first and while you were in the shower, I’d make your coffee. And the first time I was gone after we fell into this routine, you called me in England and demanded to know how I usually make your coffee because it tasted wrong to you. You listed off what you did and I said I did the same thing. And after a bit you decided it was the love that made it taste better.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Because I made it with love,” Henry clarifies. 

“Huh,” Alex replies. “I said that?” Henry nods. “Interesting.” 

Alex looks at his cup and looks over at Henry. Back and forth, back and forth. Henry can tell that he’s trying to make up his mind. What matters more: his independence or a good cup of coffee? What will make things harder: admitting that he needs Henry’s love or going a day without coffee? 

Finally, he clears his throat. “Could you make me a cup of coffee?” he asks, mumbling and looking away from Henry. 

Henry chuckles, standing up and taking the cup from Alex. “I’d be delighted.” 

  
  


Later that week, Henry is coming out of his bathroom when his phone starts ringing. It’s his mum. Alex is downstairs, cooking dinner. Henry figures he can wait a bit while he takes a call. 

“Hello, Mum.” 

“Henry, love, how are you?” 

“I’m doing all right.” 

“How’s Alex doing?” 

Henry takes a deep breath. “He doesn’t have his memory back, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“It wasn’t. I can still care about him without his memories, can’t I?” 

“Of course you can.” Henry sits down on his bed. “I think he’s doing all right. I don’t think he’d tell me otherwise. He’s asking a lot more questions about his life, which feels like progress to me.” 

“That’s wonderful!” 

“I hope so.” Henry sighs. “It’s hard. I feel bad that it’s hard, but it is.” 

“Henry, I’d be surprised if you didn’t think it was hard.” 

“I just dread that one day he’ll decide that it’s not enough,” Henry admits. 

“That what’s not enough?” 

“This life,” Henry clarifies. “Without the memories that make it special, I worry it’s not enough.” 

“Henry, I’m sure that’s not the case. You said he’s asking more. That must mean he wants to recapture it. Maybe a change of scenery would help. You could always bring him back home.” 

“I’m not bringing him to England, Mum.” 

“That’s what I thought you’d say. And you’ll likely not come back without him?” 

“Why would I leave my amnesiac husband to go do what I’m assuming are Gran’s wishes?” 

“That’s what I said, but she insisted I talk to you about it.” 

“She wants me to bring Alex to England to go to a bunch of charity visits when he doesn’t even remember marrying into the royal family? Why would I put him through that? We’re not even telling the public that Alex has memory loss.” 

“I know, Henry. I didn’t call to press your gran’s initiative. I really just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to make sure you're okay.” 

His eyes linger on the picture of him and Alex on the nightstand. It’s from their honeymoon. The two of them look radiant and blissed out. Alex had forced one of their security members to take their picture on the beach and it’s one of the best pictures they’ve ever taken. The effortless happiness with Alex has never ceased to amaze Henry, especially now when he has to force it again. 

“I’m not okay,” he tells his mum, picking up the picture and looking at it closer. “But I don’t have a choice. If I want my husband in my life, this is what I have to do. One day, maybe it won’t be so hard, but right now, it’s still hard.” 

He can feel tears starting to stream down his cheeks. This is the first time he’s cried this week. It’s a big jump from crying nightly to himself. 

“I know you’re worried about Alex, but we’re here if you need us, Henry,” his mother reminds him. 

“Thank you,” Henry says through his tears. “I’ll talk to you later.” His mother hangs up and Henry continues to cry. He's not sure how he’ll explain his tear stained face to Alex when he goes down to dinner, but maybe he just won’t have to. 

Henry sets the picture down on the bed next to him, curling in on himself a bit more as he cries. He misses the ease of their old life. It would be hard not to miss that when he has to remind Alex of everything from why they made certain decisions to why Alex started wearing glasses more often in public. He never thought he’d be at the point in his life where he had to justify every part of his relationship to his own partner. But here they are. 

Henry thinks he hears the door close behind him and he turns around, expecting to see Alex standing there. No one is there, though. Henry frowns, wondering what the noise was. He picks up the picture and sets it back on the nightstand. Henry walks into the bathroom and washes his face, hoping he can look clean and fresh and not like he’s been crying his eyes out — even if that’s the truth. 

When he gets down to dinner, Alex is taking the pan out of the oven. He announces his presence, but Alex says nothing in reply. Henry shrugs and gets himself and Alex both water to drink with dinner. Alex is incredibly quiet as they go about serving themselves and sitting down at the table. Henry sits down first, in his usual spot. Alex hovers over the spot in the middle before shaking his head and walking down to the other end. 

Henry’s eyes stay on him, but Alex’s never meet his. They don’t speak over dinner. Well, Henry tries but Alex never reciprocates. He’s not sure what the change is so suddenly, but he hates it. It further reinforces his statement that life is just harder now. Henry used to be able to read his husband quite easily, but not anymore. He never knows what stage of their relationship Alex is in. Does he hate Henry? Does he consider them friends? Is he convinced that they actually got married because they loved each other? He never knows. And right now as he looks down the table at Alex, he worries that he’s somehow backpedaled into Alex hating him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the amazing comments y'all have been leaving! They've been making my day!


	9. Coming to Blows, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just preface this with, I'm sorry.

If he’s being honest with himself, he feels a bit like a child, but Alex can’t help it. He can’t be around Henry. Things were going so well and he actually felt comfortable with him, and then it all changed. That’s what revelations do to you. And boy, did Alex have a big one. Seeing Henry crying over their picture snapped something in him and it’s not been pleasant since then. 

Henry still tries, because of course he does. But Alex finds himself drifting further and further from him. He snaps more often, like he used to when he’d just gotten home. 

Seeing the pain on Henry’s face makes Alex feel guilty. In the end though, Alex has to worry about himself. It’s about his recovery and his life he’s trying to reclaim. There’s still so much he doesn’t understand. Sure, Henry could help him with that, but Alex wants to do things on his own. He needs to. When Henry inevitably leaves, Alex will have no choice but to just rely on himself. 

That’s the realization he had: that Henry will leave. And why shouldn’t he? The person he loves is gone. Why should he stick around and teach Alex all about the life they had when they may never get it back? What good is Alex to Henry without his memories? 

If Alex were acting less like a child, maybe he’d do more to convince Henry that he should stay instead of isolating into himself. But he knows what’s coming and he doesn’t want to rely on Henry any more than necessary. 

So Alex sits at the other end of the table when he eats with Henry. Or sometimes, he takes his plate up to his room. The distance between them hurts Alex too, but he needs to prepare himself for the inevitable distance when Henry leaves. The ultimate distance. 

The only thing Alex still lets him do is make his coffee. Henry leaves it for him on the counter. The first time it happened, Alex almost left it there, but damn it, it’s good coffee. And he needs it to get through the days of pain and self-loathing. 

Alex tries to fill his days by going through his computer and trying to piece together the life he had outside of Henry. Apparently, things were incredibly intertwined. He sees drafts of documents he drew up to help Henry at the shelter. He finds calendar events from his work and Henry’s work. He calls his boss, wondering how to awkwardly explain that he doesn’t know them, but now he knows he works for them. When his boss answers, he tells Alex that Henry filled them all in after he woke up. 

He schedules a meeting with his boss to figure out where he goes from here. He’s not sure if he can practice law when he doesn’t  _ remember  _ going through law school. His boss makes some comment about him being a great asset to their team and Alex hopes that means they’ll take him back somehow. 

But no matter how hard he tries to distract himself from everything else, that line still drifts through his mind, sometimes several times a day:  _ come back to me, you lost Pleiad.  _

He still doesn’t know what it means, so he ignores it. 

That’s how he’s getting through a lot of things right now — ignoring it. He goes on runs now that he knows the area better. He’ll take David for multiple walks during the day. Even if he can’t be around Henry, David doesn’t count. 

Anything that Alex can find to distract himself with, he does. Anything that can keep his mind off the decision he’d made and never got to act on. 

June works a lot, apparently making up for time she spent at his bedside and in his home watching over him. So Alex annoys Nora a lot, particularly when she’s working from home. He can tell by the looks she gives him that she knows something’s up, but she’s never asked him and he wouldn’t know how to explain it anyway. 

How do you explain missing something that you don’t even remember having? 

His brain is clearly messed up in more ways than just the accident. 

He walks in the door after leaving Nora and he hears Henry in the kitchen. Alex drifts closer and sees Henry eating at the table by himself. He looks miserable. And yet, Alex can’t put his finger on  _ why  _ it irks him that Henry’s eating without him. Alex has spent most of their last meals either ignoring him or taking it elsewhere. And yet, somehow, it bothers him to see that Henry didn’t even try to include him. It’s like he’s given up on trying to bring Alex back into the life they shared. 

And it hurts. 

Alex trudges up the stairs, deciding he’s not even that hungry anyway. He knows it’s his own fault that Henry’s stopped trying. Alex was the one who stopped trying first. But for Alex, it was accepting an inevitability. Does this mean that Henry is that much closer to leaving? Or will he just kick Alex out? He could probably go stay with June and Nora, but the idea of being told to leave sounds too painful. 

_ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad _ . 

Alex groans, running his hands through his hair. He throws himself down on the bed, hugging a pillow to his middle. How is this his life? He was on track to be the youngest person in congress and he gave it all up for what? He’s lost everything that he chose over the dream he’d had. Now his life is silent meals and half-remembered phrases. It feels like a cruel joke. 

For a moment, he thinks he should go down and sit with Henry and tell him everything. But he knows that it won’t make a difference. Henry wants his husband, not the shell of the man left without memories. Who wants to explain to their spouse why they’re together or why some picture is supposed to be special? 

Alex wonders what he would do in reverse? Would he tend to Henry and help him remember every monumental event in their relationship? With a sick laugh to himself, he realizes that,  _ yes,  _ he absolutely would. 

He pulls out his phone again and looks back through the pictures. It’s something he’s done too many times since he woke up from his coma. At first, he tried to make sense of the relationship stored in the memory of his phone. After listening more to June and Nora and then eventually, Henry, he tried piecing together the stories they told and how they match up with the pictures he has. And now, he looks at them and wishes he could remember it, wishing he could transfer the memory from the cloud back to his head so he could go down to Henry and tell him he’s worthy of his love again. 

He holds down on a Live Picture of Henry on a boat. He’s laughing heartily and the last thing he hears before the sound cuts off is “Alex, stop!” Alex listens to it repeatedly. Even with the good times they were briefly having, he never heard Henry laugh like that. 

That’s only reserved for the Alex that has his memories. 

He thinks about Henry’s hard days and suddenly they make sense. It must be hard on Henry to decide to end things. Well, maybe in a way Alex is doing him a favor, making it easier on him. 

But then he looks back at the picture and he yearns for the life he used to have. One where Henry wanted him without exception. One where he didn’t feel so broken, so helpless. 

_ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad _ . 

With a sigh, Alex puts the phone down, hoping to put that life and the repeating line out of his head. Realistically, he knows he won’t be successful for either one. 

  
  


It’s only a couple of days later when Alex has his meeting with his boss. Overall, it’s probably one of the more uncomfortable meetings of his life. For instance, when he walked in, he didn’t even know which one was his boss. Henry had offered to go with him and Alex shot him down. As he stares helplessly at the few men gathered before him and isn’t sure which one to approach, he wishes he’d let Henry accompany him. 

In the end, it’s over rather quickly, Alex having more information, but less enthusiasm. As he rides back to the brownstone, there’s a new line running through his head. “We’ll have to review and see if you can even still practice law.” 

It feels like a kind way of saying  _ no.  _ Once again, Alex has lost something he didn’t even know he wanted. The world feels unnecessarily cruel to him. He can’t remember making the decision to become a lawyer. He can't remember going through law school. He can’t remember working the cases that helped make him a name at this firm. And yet, it still feels like he’s lost something. 

His world has turned around so fast, so often that he doesn’t know where to land any longer. Maybe he should be the one to leave. Maybe he should go hide out with his mother in Texas. 

But then he looks at his phone with the wallpaper of him and Henry — one that he’s never changed — and he doesn’t feel like he can be the first to leave. 

Alex comes into the brownstone, slamming the door behind him in his frustration. Henry jumps up from the study and walks out to meet him in the hall. He looks concerned. “Are you all right?” 

“No,” Alex says gruffly. He wants to storm off, but something is holding him there. It’s possible Henry could have a solution in mind. 

“You were meeting with your bosses, right?” Alex just nods. “So, I’m assuming it didn’t go well?” Alex nods again. Henry takes a hesitant step toward him. “I’m really sorry, Alex. I know that’s got to feel impossible.” 

“Yeah,” Alex says in a small voice. “I don’t know what to do.” 

They’re both silent for a moment before Henry clears his throat. “Well, we can think of something. Perhaps there’s something we can find that can help you remember more about your job. I don’t know. But we can try.” 

There’s that word. The proof.  _ Remember.  _ Alex feels anger coursing through him. It’s just proof that according to Henry, he  _ needs  _ his memories. “You know what? I’ll figure it out on my own.” 

Henry’s brow furrows. “Alex, I was just —” 

“I know, I know exactly what you were doing. But did you ever think of the fact that I don’t need your help?” His voice is growing louder, he’s growing more erratic. But after the blow of today and the one that’s been building between them, this feels inevitable. “I don’t need you, Henry! I was just fine before you and I’ll be just fine again.” 

He can see tears forming in Henry’s eyes. Hopefully Henry can’t see the tears forming in his own eyes. “I just wanted to help. I know how you must be feeling.” 

“That’s just it! You  _ don’t  _ know how I’m feeling! You can’t know how I’m feeling because you’ve never lost everything before.” 

Henry is very visibly trying to compose himself. “Well, I’ll be here if you need me.” 

“Did you not hear me? I don’t need you!” Alex yells, even if everything he’s saying is a lie. “Just get out of my life!” 

He doesn’t wait to see what Henry’s reaction is. Too many feelings are bubbling out of him. He needs to get a handle on himself before he tries to say anything else. 

Ultimately, he waits until the next morning. He thinks maybe he and Henry have both had enough time to cool off. Maybe Henry will listen when Alex apologizes for everything he said the night before. He walks downstairs and the kitchen is suspiciously quiet. Henry isn’t there. Alex frowns and looks toward the stairs. He’s going to feel like a real asshole if he’s making Henry have one of his bad days. 

Alex walks back upstairs and sees the bedroom door ajar. His brow furrows as he steps closer. Opening the door fully, he sees that Henry’s not in there either. He walks into the bathroom and Henry’s not there. The study pops in his mind and he’s about to walk down there when the closet catches his eye. The door is standing open which is unusual. He walks closer and his breath catches in his throat. The closet is empty. 

Tears start streaming down his face as he runs down the stairs, checking the study, hoping he’s wrong. 

“Henry!” he yells. There’s no reply. “Henry!” He checks every room in the house twice, not wanting to admit that it finally happened. Even if Alex always thought it would, he can’t believe that it actually did. He feels like he’s been punched in the gut. 

There’s one last clue he knows to look for before he accepts that Henry truly left. “David?” Alex calls. He waits and calls again. There’s no sound of a bark, no sound of his paws clacking against the hardwood floors. He’s simply not here. 

Alex sits down on the stairs, feeling hopeless. Maybe he should have tried harder to show Henry that he wanted to be here. Maybe he could have gotten Henry to stay. Now he just feels empty. Alex pulls his phone out, thinking about calling Henry and begging him to come back, but he knows it’s useless. 

He drove Henry away. That’s the realization he finally comes to. It’s his fault. Not the accident’s fault.  _ His.  _

He clicks on his phone, needing to talk to  _ someone.  _

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Nora.” 

“What’s up?” 

“I fucked up.” 

There’s a pause. “What do you mean?” 

Alex looks around the first level of the house, empty of all things meaningful. “He’s gone.” 

And there it is again:  _ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! I hope to keep updating quickly! Thanks for all the love for this story so far! I have been truly blown away by the response. Y'all are the best!


	10. It Must Have Been Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To show you how sorry I am about that last chapter, I have our longest chapter yet! Thank you so much for all the support for this story!

Nora walks in the door, slamming it in her haste to get to Alex. He’s still sitting on the stairs where he was when he called her. “What do you mean ‘he’s gone?’” 

Alex gestures around the empty house. “It seems pretty straight forward. He’s gone. Henry left.” 

“He wouldn’t.” 

“Well, he did.” 

Nora shakes her head, an expression like she’s trying to find a reasonable explanation for Henry’s absence. “Maybe he just had somewhere to be.” 

“And he took David?” 

“Maybe it was a vet appointment.” 

“So he had to take all his clothes?” Alex asks. 

She looks devastated. “He did?” Alex nods and Nora runs past him up the stairs. He follows her, unsure of why she doesn’t trust him. “Nora, I wouldn’t have called if I hadn’t already thought through things.” 

Walking into the bedroom, she sees the empty closet and turns around with a heartbroken look on her face. “He really left,” she says, unbelieving. 

“I told you.” 

“I thought you were just being dramatic.” She shakes her head and leans against the dresser with her arms crossed. “I don’t get it. Henry wouldn’t just leave. Not unless…” She trails off, her head slowly turning until she looks at Alex, her eyes narrowing. “What did you do?” 

“Excuse me?” She gives him a look that needs no further explanation. “We...had a fight.” One eyebrow raises in reply. “Fine, it was more just me snapping at him.” 

“What did you say?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Alex says. 

Nora dramatically stalks back to the closet and throws the door back open. “I think it fucking does, Alex. What did you say?” 

Having to say all the horrible things he said to Henry that he didn’t even mean in the moment to someone else feels too embarrassing. Nora’s gaze isn’t letting up, so he has to cave. “I told him to get out of my life,” Alex mumbles. 

Nora scoffs and walks past Alex, smacking him on the back of his head. “You’re an idiot.” 

“Nora!” 

She turns around in the hallway. “No, Alex, I get that this has been a lot for you and understandably so, but you can’t push away all the people trying to help you!” 

Alex walks down the stairs and throws himself down on the couch. “This is so unfair.” 

“That Henry left?” Nora asks, sitting down on the other end of the couch. 

“No, you’re right, I deserved that. No, it’s this whole accident that’s unfair. That I’m stuck in a life I can’t remember.” 

“You’re right. That is unfair.” 

“And worst of all, I find myself wanting it back,” Alex admits. “I finally  _ got it _ but now it’s gone again.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“For a while after I woke up, I didn’t get how this was my life. I couldn’t see how I ended up with Henry, how I could have ever chosen to be with him. How did the things I remembered of him turn into  _ this, _ ” he says, gesturing to the room. “But then...then I figured it out. I saw who he really is and I understood how it happened.” 

“Then why yell at him and tell him to get out of your life?” Nora asks. “That seems like the opposite of what you want.” 

Alex sighs, closing his eyes. “Because he doesn’t want me.” 

Nora laughs. Alex looks over at her, no humor on his face. “You’re insane. He loves you.” 

“He loves the person I was before the accident. I don’t know if that’s me anymore.” 

“Alex,” Nora starts. 

He jumps up. “I can’t remember that life,” he tells her. “So how can I be that person?” Alex walks over to the large picture of them hanging on the wall. “He wants  _ this  _ and I can’t give it to him. He has every right to leave. No matter how much I…” 

“How much you want him here?” Nora finishes. 

Alex throws himself back on the couch. “Yeah.” 

Nora huffs. “Alex, just tell him that. That’s all you’d have to fucking tell him. Especially because if I know Henry as well as I think I do — and I do — then I know that he doesn’t care whether or not you have your memories.” 

“You haven’t been here. He does care,” Alex insists. “And why shouldn’t he? I don’t know that I’d want to spend my whole life explaining my relationship to the other person in it.” 

“You’re making new memories just fine. I think it would probably be a one time thing,” Nora tries. “And for the record, I don’t think he’d care. I wouldn’t if it were June. And I don’t think you’d actually care if it happened to Henry. You certainly wouldn’t have  _ before  _ the accident.” 

Alex shrugs in reply. Everything feels so hopeless. 

Nora scooches closer to him. “Alex, just tell him. Pick up your phone and call him.” 

“Doubt he’d answer.” 

“He would. But if you don’t think he’d answer, we can always jump on a plane and go to England and tell him in person.” Alex replies with a sarcastic laugh. “I mean it.” 

“He doesn’t want to see me. If he did, he’d have stuck around rather than just leaving.” 

“Maybe he felt like it was his only option.” 

“Because living with me was too intolerable?” 

“Yep. But probably not because you lost your memories,” Nora adds with a matter-of-fact tone. Alex looks over and glares at her. “Probably because you’ve taken every bit of frustration out on him instead of just talking to someone.” 

“And so I pushed him away,” he admits. 

“Yep. You did.” She turns to him and gives him a look. “So, what are you going to do to fix it?” 

“I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to fix it.” Nora rolls her eyes. “Look, I’m still angry. I am still mad about everything I lost, now including any chance I had of being with Henry. And my job. And my memories. It’s just all gone. And I’m still pissed about it. So how can I go to him and say what I want when all that anger pushed him away in the first place?” Alex shakes his head. “I don’t feel like I am worthy of him right now. Maybe that’s what I need to fix first.” 

“How are you going to fix that? Alex, no offense, but that could take  _ years. _ ” Alex glares at her. “I’m sorry, but what if Henry finds comfort in the arms of someone else?” 

Alex sits forward in a panic. “Do you think he would?” 

“No!” Nora tells him. “That’s not his style, but all I’m saying is that you can’t control the way Henry heals himself from this if you don’t include him in you trying to heal yourself. You could heal yourselves together, you know?” 

He nods, unsure of what to say. “I don’t know how to face him right now. I feel like I need to know more about who I was, you know?” 

“Well, how are you going to do that? I feel like involving your husband in that would be a good idea.” 

“No,” Alex decides in that moment. “I need to know who he was expecting when I woke up. Because it sure as fuck wasn’t this mess that I’ve become.” 

“I mean, that’s probably mature, but how are you going to fix things with Henry before then?” 

“He needs space from me.” Alex looks over at her, interrupting her eye rolling. “He wouldn’t have left if he didn’t.” 

“So what’s your plan?” 

“I don’t know exactly. I mean, I thought I’d get up this morning and apologize to him and tell him I didn’t mean it and maybe even how I was feeling. But that didn’t happen because he was gone,” Alex muses. “So I guess I look inward for a bit and when I feel ready, I go to him.”

“Just don’t give up on him,” Nora urges. “You need him as much as he needs you.” 

Alex sighs. “Weirdly, I think I already know that.” 

Even with Nora there with him and these revelations coming to light, Alex still doesn’t feel at ease. Everything feels off without Henry there. He hates that it took him  _ leaving  _ for Alex to realize that. Henry made the house feel like a comfortable place, even when Alex was avoiding him. 

He makes coffee for him and Nora and she drinks it happily, but Alex pours his out. It’s not right. And now he knows why. 

June comes over and takes her turn of yelling at Alex for driving Henry away. Alex steels himself as June continues to scold him for the way he treated his husband. He listens for a while before he finally needs answers. 

“June, do you realize that you always defend Henry?” She narrows her eyes at him, looking confused. “Every time I’ve had some problem with Henry, you always,  _ always  _ take his side. Need I remind you that I’m your brother?” 

June opens her mouth to reply, but Alex keeps going. 

“Look, I know well enough that I fucked up this time. And I know that there were times in the past that I fucked up as well, but you could take my side some of the time instead of making me feel like more shit than I already do!” 

“Are you going to let me talk now?” Alex nods. June takes a deep breath. “Do you want to know why I always stick up for Henry?” Alex nods again. “Because I know what you used to be like to him. And I know what he’s been through in his life. Henry is tough, but he’s been through some real shit. And I knew that you would be...well, harsh on him like you used to before you were together. And I knew that on top of everything else he’s been through  _ and  _ now this shit with his own husband, it was going to be hard for him. I wanted you to think of him as well as yourself.” 

“God, is that really what you think of me? That I’m just such an asshole?” 

“No,” June says, shaking her head at him. “You know I don’t. You’re a great person, Alex. But you’ve been going through a lot. And on top of that, you did not used to get along with him and you two were just in very, very different emotional places with each other. And yours was the more volatile side. So I wanted to make sure you didn’t wreck the life you built.” 

“You mean like I did?” 

“Yeah, pretty much. This is why you should talk to people about how you’re feeling  _ before  _ you snap.” 

Alex sighs. “Yeah, I know.” 

The girls decide that Nora is going to stay over at the brownstone for the night. Alex insists that she doesn’t need to, but both of them take one look and see the state he’s in and immediately overrule him. June kisses Nora goodnight and Alex wonders if that’s how easy it used to be for him and Henry. 

Alex and Nora sit and watch tv for a while before they’re both yawning. It’s been a long — and emotionally taxing — day. “I can sleep here,” Nora says, making herself comfortable on the couch. 

“Don’t be crazy. Sleep in the guest bedroom.” 

“I thought you were sleeping in there.” 

“I’ll help you change the sheets.” 

“Well where are you going to sleep?” Alex opens and closes his mouth. “Oh,” she says with a nod. “Gotcha.” 

He doesn’t know how to voice it, but that’s where he feels like he has to be. After helping make the guest room Nora’s, Alex carries his stuff into his other room, the one he shared with Henry. He drops his bundle on the floor and crawls into the bed. It smells like Henry. Alex cuddles up against a pillow and holds it close to him. He feels tears falling from his eyes, wetting the pillow under him. There’s no way for him to know if this was his pillow or Henry’s, but it feels like an essential part of him. He cries himself to sleep, mourning everything he’s lost and lost again, wishing it were Henry with him and not just his pillow. 

Alex feels emotionally hungover the next morning when Nora finds him. She asks him if he wants coffee and he says no. He knows it’ll taste wrong. 

They start a routine. Nora stays over most nights. Sometimes June joins her, sometimes she doesn’t. There are many consistencies in the weeks that follow: Nora and June are a supportive presence, Alex tries to learn more about the man he used to be, and he always, without fail, misses Henry. He didn’t know it was possible to miss someone this much. More than that, he didn’t know it was possible to miss someone this much based on just the times he can remember. He wonders if some of his old self is trying to creep through and remind him of what it used to be like. 

And always, at the back of his mind, there’s the line:  _ come back to me, you lost Pleiad. _

A couple of weeks into the new routine, Nora sits Alex down and hands him a computer. “Okay, so I put this huge folder together for you.” 

“What is it?” 

“It’s you.” 

“What?” Alex looks between her and the computer. 

She chuckles. “Well, it’s a bunch of videos of you. I’ve seen you looking at the pictures in this house or on your phone like you’re trying to pull the meaning from them with your eyes. And pictures are great, but they’re staged half the time. Videos — they’re real. They show you who  _ you  _ are. Or were. Whatever. So I have some speeches you’ve made, some random videos that we took when we were all being idiots, some mock cases that you did in law school, some footage from your secret wedding. The lot of it.” 

“I’m sorry, my secret  _ what? _ ” 

“Your secret wedding. Your royal wedding was getting a bit too… well, royal. And you and Henry wanted something more your speed. So there was a small, intimate and secret ceremony the week before your actual wedding. And I have a little bit of it.” 

“You put all this together?” 

“If I hadn’t had to wait on other people to get stuff back to me, I’d have had it sooner. But…”

Alex pulls her in and hugs her. “Thank you. I can’t…” He shakes his head, getting choked up. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. I hope it helps.” 

“It will. It has to. I can only read so many news articles about me or so many professor evaluations. Half the time, I’m just googling pictures of me from the last six years and hoping they spell something out. Thus far, I haven’t been successful.” 

“Well, good luck.” 

Nora clearly knows how much of his focus this is going to take and politely leaves him alone for a bit. The first one he clicks on is a video of him giving a speech. Alex recognizes the scenery. It’s the Diplomatic Reception Room. He walks in and Henry is right behind him. Alex exchanges a glance with him before he steps up to the podium and starts speaking. He watches himself give a speech that brings tears to his eyes. Not only is he impressed by the speech, he’s impressed by his own composure as he gives it. He’s impressed by the sight of Henry standing behind him like a firm, comforting presence. 

Once again, he wishes he could remember it. 

Alex sort of loses his mind at a specific part. He backs it up over and over again. “ _ But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable. America has always believed this. And so, I am not ashamed to stand here today where presidents have stood and say that I love him, the same as Jack loved Jackie, the same as Lyndon loved Lady Bird. Every person who bears a legacy makes the choice of a partner with whom they will share it, whom the American people will hold beside them in hearts and memories and history books. America: He is my choice. _ ” 

After about five times of backing it up and watching it again, Alex lets the rest of the speech play. It’s an incredible speech. When the video ends and Henry and Alex have walked out, hand in hand, present-day-Alex sits there and stares at the screen for a moment. That feels like a monumental start to this project. He wonders if he should have picked one of his mock trials to start with. This speech just left him with a mess of emotions he doesn’t feel remotely capable of dealing with. At least not without Henry. 

He doesn’t really know how he’s feeling more about Henry in his absence than he did when the man was here. Maybe there’s something to be said for not knowing what you have until you lose it. Looking back at the screen, he hopes that this project will help him feel more ready to face Henry again, to make his case as to why he should be allowed another chance. 

Switching to a (hopefully) easier video, Alex clicks on a mock trial and watches as he positively obliterates a classmate. A smug grin crosses his face as he watches the swift way he debates and argues. He can see how passionate he was about law school. 

Maybe this is what he needed from the beginning. Before he left the hospital, he should have been given this folder, shown snippets of this life that he’s forgotten. He could have avoided a lot of pain with Henry if he’d have seen this first. 

Clicking away from the mock trial, he chooses an iPhone video that shows some rowdy game night happening in the same room he’s sitting in. Henry is sitting on the couch laughing hysterically, June in stitches beside him. Alex is standing, passionately arguing why his card should be chosen in Cards Against Humanity, swinging his beer around like he’s clearly had a few before that one. He’s focused on Pez, a fierce look in his eyes. The sound of someone laughing comes from right at the speaker. Alex thinks it’s probably Beatrice, based on the group. Henry and June keep trying to get him to sit down, but he won’t listen. “Stop filibustering the game!” Nora yells, throwing a handful of M&Ms at him. Henry whines about the mess and Nora throws a handful at him as well. He laughs and plops a handful in his mouth from off the couch. 

Finally they talk Pez into accepting his card so the game can continue and the video ends. 

Alex watches it again, looking more at the group than himself. He wonders if having a night like this with those people would bring it all back? Is it that simple? 

  
  


In the week and a half that follow, Alex pours over the videos Nora gave him endlessly. He thinks he’s really starting to get the person he was, the person Henry fell in love with. At least he hopes. Weirdly, these videos calm him. Sure, sometimes they’re painful, but it helps. He sees the life he had — at least in snippets — and it shows him what he desperately wants back, but with an actual picture. 

The hardest one to watch is the bit Nora has from the wedding. Alex and Henry look more nervous than they did in the other wedding he’s watched, but somehow, they also look more excited. Alex feels a smile on his face as he watches their sisters walk them down the aisle and as they start to exchange real vows. He hears the vows Henry reads to him and he’s blown away. Is the man a damn poet? The video ends before Henry wraps up his vows. Alex can’t hear the words he offers to Henry in reply, but somehow he knows they’re good in his own way. 

He pauses on a still of the two of them staring at each other, matching enormous grins on their faces, holding each other’s hands. It almost feels like he’s a voyeur in his own past joy. 

Alex closes the laptop and lays down on the couch. If he thought he was ready to be with Henry before, this is a whole different feeling. He thinks he appreciates Henry more, not just from his absence, but from seeing the true versions of him in these videos. He remembers the flashes he saw of it, like when they had their  _ Star Wars  _ marathon. 

His hand hovers over his phone, feeling like he could call Henry and tell him all this. At the last moment, he pulls his hand away. He needs to be absolutely ready before he goes to Henry with that, before he tries to bring him back into the mess that he still is, even if he’s getting better. 

Alex can tell in the way he’s reacting to things that he is improving, handling his stress better. But he wants to be more than just improving when he turns back to Henry. The man deserves it. 

He sits up when he hears Nora’s voice coming toward him. “You lost your key? Yeah, I’ll come let you in. Well, I’ll just come back afterward. It’s fine.” There’s a pause while she’s listening to the other side of the conversation. “Okay. I’ll be there soon.” 

“What’s up?” he asks. 

“June locked herself out. I’m going to go let her back in. But I’ll be right back.” 

“Just stay,” he tells her. She gives him a look. “I’m good. I’m doing the best that I have been since Henry left. I can spend a night by myself. Really. Go spend a night at your own home for once.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“If I need my babysitter, I’ll call you, but I think I’ll be okay,” Alex jokes. 

Nora nods with a grin. She runs up and grabs her bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Have a good evening!” 

“You too!” 

And he’s left alone in the house. He looks around and realizes it’s always felt this empty without Henry, whether Nora and June were there or not. 

_ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad.  _

Alex sighs, hearing that line yet again. 

Finally, he does what he should have done ages ago. He pulls his computer back to him and opens the internet, typing the line into Google. He’s stunned by the results that pop up immediately. 

**The Waterloo Letters: Full collection of the emails between Alex and Henry**

**“Come back to me** when you’re done being flung through the firmament,  **you lost Pleiad.”**

“What the fuck?” he says under his breath. Shaking his head, he clicks on the link that promises the answers to the line that’s been in his head for months. 

He sees dozens and dozens of emails between him and Henry, seemingly from his mother’s presidential server. Alex scrolls back up to the top, reading the description he’d ignored at first. 

“...a complete record of the emails between Prince Henry of Wales and First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz in what was dubbed “The Waterloo Letters” after they were leaked by Ellen Claremont’s political competitor in an effort to sway public opinion.” 

Yet again he whispers, “What the fuck?” In all his googling, how has he never found this? 

He reads the first email, one from him asking Henry if he’ll be in Paris for some fundraiser. They banter back and forth, getting a bit dirty. It’s...interesting. He’s thought about the romantic side of his relationship with Henry, such as how they fell in love and how they ended up married. He hasn’t let himself think of their sexual relationship. It occurred to him that he’s very obviously attracted to Henry. Once he wrapped his mind around being told he’s bisexual, that realization came pretty quickly after. 

But to see the proof of it laid out in front of him...well, that’s something else. He keeps reading, hooked on the back and forth between the two of them. It feels like unlocking a door he thought was just a bookshelf and finding the room behind it. 

“ _ If I were trying to get fresh with you, you would know it.  _

_ For example: I’ve been thinking about your mouth on me all week, and I was hoping I’d see you in Paris so I could put it to use.”  _

And there’s another from Henry: “ _ I can’t think of a single other way to start this email except to say, and I do hope you will forgive both my language and my utter lack of restraint: You are so fucking beautiful. _ ” 

There are so many, Alex finds himself reading too quickly to absorb it all. He needs this information. And finally he finds what he was looking for in the first place. Henry calling him a lost Pleiad. It feels like it means something that the only thing that has crept through thus far in his addled brain are Henry’s words urging him back to him. 

Alex reads more, but his mind is absorbing less of it. Little lines here and there sneak through his foggy mind. A mission is forming at the back of his mind, taking his focus. 

“ _ Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? _ ” Alex reads that whole paragraph and reads it over again, gobsmacked by it. 

And there’s one from himself that feels especially apropos. “ _ Even after all this, I still always feel like I want to know more of you. Does that sound crazy? I just sit here and wonder, who is this person who knows stuff about Hamilton and writes like this? Where does someone like that even come from? How was I so wrong? _ ” 

He was certainly, irrefutably wrong about Henry. 

There are promises of the lakehouse and Alex tries to picture him there. He’s sure there’s a picture of it somewhere on his phone or in one of these frames. Maybe he just never picked up on it. 

When he gets to the last couple of emails, initiated by him, he feels drunk on something more potent than the whiskey he says he’s had in the email. 

“ _ if i could spread it out on my desk, i’d find the corner of your mouth where it pinches with my fingers, and i’d smooth it away and you’d be marked with the names of saints like all the old maps. i get the nomenclature now — saints’ names belong to miracles. _ ” 

Alex sees it so plainly now — the beginning of their relationship, the struggles they faced together and apart — and he knows what he has to do. He starts to read it back through until he gives up sometime around the month of May and pulls out his phone instead. 

“Cash?” he asks when the call connects. “How do you feel about a flight to England?” 

There’s some grumbling on Cash’s end before he agrees. 

Alex sends the link to himself so he can read it all back through on his phone. With a hopeful smile permanently on his face, he runs up to his room to throw some clothes in a bag. This lost pleiad is going to find Henry. 


	11. With Only the Memories of When You Were Mine

Henry tries not to make a big deal of his reappearance at Kensington. The inevitable questions are the last thing he wants. David is thankfully quiet as Henry sneaks to his room. It’s been a very taxing 24 hours — even less than that — and all he wants is to be left  _ alone.  _ He’s mere feet from his room when he hears his name. 

“Henry?” 

He urges David into his room and turns around, an exhausted look at the ready. Bea stares at him like she wonders if she’s hallucinating. “Yes?” 

“What are you doing here?” 

It’s taken approximately fifteen seconds for the questions to hit him. “Well, I was about to go lay on my bed,” he answers evasively. Trying to get away, he steps toward his room, but Bea jumps in the way and blocks his doorway. 

“Why are you here? I asked you if we could come and you said no. And Mum said that you insisted you wouldn’t be in England anytime soon. So why are you suddenly here?” 

He doesn’t know how to admit the truth to his sister. Well, he doesn’t know how to admit the truth to  _ anyone.  _ Henry nudges around her and sits down on his bed in his defeat. “It’s over,” he says in a small voice, the loudest he can manage. 

“What do you mean?” 

“My marriage,” he clarifies, not looking at her. “It’s over.” 

Bea sighs and walks in the door. “You’re here because of Alex? I know you said he was acting differently, but it’s not like you to run away from a fight.” 

“There’s no fight left to be had,” Henry tells her. “He told me to go.” Finally, he looks up at her. “How can I argue with that? How do you stay in a marriage when one of the involved parties doesn’t want to be in it anymore?” 

Bea sits down on the bed next to him. He can tell by the look on her face that this is not the news she was expecting. “Are you sure you didn’t just misinterpret him somehow?” 

Henry glares at her. “He told me to get out of his life. How hard is that to misinterpret?” 

She sighs again, shaking her head. “It just doesn’t add up.” 

“He had an accident and forgot our entire life together and now he has no interest in reclaiming that life. It doesn’t have to add up, Bea. It’s just how it is.” 

Reaching out, she rubs her hand over his back. “It just can’t be over. I’ve seen the two of you together. That doesn’t just  _ go away.  _ An accident can’t completely wipe that out. I don’t believe it.” There’s a long silence that hangs between them. It’s clear that Bea is trying to find a solution. “Maybe I’ll just call him and figure things out.”

“Bea, he doesn’t even know who you are. I don’t see how that could be any more effective than me trying. Or June and Nora trying. If the two of them can’t get him to try, nothing will.” He looks over at her, sure she sees his misery. “Not even you.” 

She stands up and starts to pace in front of his bed. “I’m sorry, Henry. I just can’t accept this.” 

“Well, maybe if you’d have seen it coming like I did.” 

Looking over at him, she gives him a look. “You think this was a long time coming? Certainly not before the accident. You were here two weeks before the accident and let me tell you, from my perspective, the two of you were doing just fine.” 

“No, not before the accident. But anything from before the accident doesn’t matter anymore.” 

“Oh fuck that,” Bea retorts. “It does matter. Because that’s everything that you’re fighting for and everything that he needs to get back.” 

“There’s no guarantee he’ll get his memories back.” 

“I’m not talking about getting it back like that. I mean getting your relationship back. That’s what he needs. Maybe it’s just hard for him to see that right now.” 

“Bea, stop trying to win the war that’s already ended. I lost.” A sob comes unbidden from his throat. “I lost him. I lost it all.” 

She moves to him and wraps him in a hug. “I don’t believe it’s over. It may feel like it is now. But I’ve seen you two, Henry. He’s got to feel that, even if he doesn’t have the memories to back it up. There’s no way he doesn’t know how much he needs you. Maybe it just scares him.” She rubs his back again and tries to ease his crying that has started to wrack his frame. “This is not the end of you and Alex. I promise.” 

“I wish I could believe you right now.” 

Nothing else is said between them. Bea just holds him while Henry lets out some very necessary tears. 

Henry doesn’t plan on leaving his rooms much. Since he’s back in the palace, meals are sent up to him when he doesn’t get them himself. Which means that for the first week that he’s back in England, all his meals are sent to him. Bea comes in and sits with him, sometimes talking, sometimes not. He’s been there for a week when Pez comes in. It’s clear he doesn’t know what to say. Pez and Bea keep trying to assure Henry that he’ll get to be with Alex again, but he won’t hear it. He can’t let himself hope. 

Hope is the biggest killer. 

He’s honestly surprised by the amount of people that come to see him. Before his relationship with Alex, he’s quite sure it would have been just Bea and Pez who came to look out for him. It’s just yet another reflection on the impact Alex had on his life. 

An undetermined amount of days later, his mother shows up. She does something that she hasn’t done since he was a child: she lays on the covers and holds him, letting him cry, rubbing her hand over his head, and letting him be precisely as sad as he is. It unleashes something in him, a pain not related to Alex, but related to more of what he’s lost. The fact that he’s only getting this level of comfort from his mother only because his situation has gotten so incredibly bad is not lost on him. 

He doesn’t push her away though. 

She visits almost daily — another unusual act for her. Some days she asks Henry to go for a walk through the gardens with her. Some days she just sits with him silently. Other days all she does is bring him Jaffa Cakes before her next meeting. 

Nothing makes the pain truly go away, but it helps to know that his family truly cares for him. There was a time when he wasn’t so sure any of them but Bea did. 

Philip comes to see him and Henry tenses. He prepares for the scolding, telling him to buck up and get back to work. But that’s not what he gets. Philip sits in a chair near him and says simply, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Martha.” Henry looks over at him and sees the forlorn look on his brother’s face and in that moment, he thinks Philip actually understands. He doesn’t say anything back and Philip doesn’t say anything else. He pulls out a book and keeps Henry company silently. 

Henry is almost sure that Bea urged them all to do this, but either way, they’re still showing up, they’re still showing him support at the time that he desperately needed it. Having someone in the room keeps him from pulling his phone out every other minute to debate reaching out to Alex or to see if he’s reached out instead. 

No one tries to tell Henry to move on. In fact, when it comes up, they basically urge him  _ not  _ to. 

The visitor that shocks him the most is Martha. She knocks gently and waits for Henry to allow her in. He’s sitting on his couch, reading a book. Walking over, she smiles delicately at him. “Hi, Henry.” 

“Hello, Martha.” 

“I know that things are hard right now, but I have some people who would like to see you.” Henry nearly glares at her. Why would she dangle her children for him like that? He does enjoy spending time with them when he’s in England and she clearly knows that. She smiles at him. “They’re waiting with Beatrice in the music room. I think Elizabeth and Andrew would be really happy if their Uncle Henry showed up.” 

Henry rolls his eyes, but he knows she’s won. “Fine,” he says, putting his book down and following Martha out of the room. 

They find the two little ones sitting in front of Beatrice, enraptured. She’s playing some song for them on the guitar and Henry sits down just behind them, not wanting to disturb the moment. Andrew turns around first, his eyes widening as he sees Henry. He throws his arms around him and Henry hugs him back. Elizabeth, not to be outshone by her big brother, tackles onto Henry as well. 

For a moment, Henry thinks that Martha wins the game of distracting him. Bea is smiling when he meets her gaze. 

“Uncle Henry!” Elizabeth says.

“We missed you,” Andrew tells him. 

Henry tightens his arms around the little children. “I missed you as well.” 

“Where’s Uncle Alex?” Andrew asks. And the short burst of happiness ends. 

Henry tenses, unsure of how to answer. How do you tell a two year old and a four year old that they might never see their uncle again, that the man doesn’t even remember them? It’s hard enough to wrap his mind around and he’s in his late twenties. 

“Well, er…” 

“He’s just sick,” Bea covers. They both turn to look at her. Andrew stands up and moves next to Bea, plucking at her guitar. “He just couldn’t make the flight from New York to London right now.” 

“Exactly,” Martha chimes in. “But Uncle Henry wanted to see you both so badly that he made the trip.” 

Elizabeth looks up at him, almost checking to see if that’s true. He plasters on a smile and hopes that she believes it. She settles into his lap. So maybe she did buy it. 

It feels like the family is regrouping, trying to figure out what will help Henry the best after an afternoon with the kids doesn’t even pull him out of his funk for very long. Thankfully, none of them are trying to tell him he  _ shouldn’t  _ be in a funk. He thinks that would be the moment he snaps. 

When it’s been a few days again since Henry’s left his room, Pez shows up again, this time with beer. They don’t usually drink beer together, so he’s a bit confused. Apparently it shows on his face. “You’ve been in the states so long, I figured this was your go-to now.” 

Henry looks closer at the bottle and they’re Shiners. Alex’s favorite beer. He glares at Pez where he sits on the bed next to him. “How the fuck did you get these here?” 

“They’re not bad,” Pez informs him, taking a drink of his. “You think I don’t know the art of the trade? I send you case after case of Jaffa Cakes, I expect something in return. And since I keep you calm with your sugary treats, Alex started sending me some of these after I said I enjoyed them.” 

“How long ago did that start?” 

Pez shrugs. “Maybe a year ago or more? When he got a case of Jaffa Cakes or other British treats, he’d send on a case. They usually last me a while.” He clinks his to Henry’s. “Drink up.” 

“Pez, why are you doing this?” Henry asks before taking a pull of his beer. 

“Because I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life trapped in this bloody room, never wavering.” 

Henry leans his head back against the headboard. “Who says I’m going to do that?” 

“When was the last time you’ve gone and done  _ anything  _ outside of the palace walls?” Henry’s silence answers for him. “I know you miss Alex. And I’d be shocked if you were doing okay, but you can’t do this to yourself. You’re not going to win him back like this.” 

Henry scoffs. “There’s no winning him back. He made it very clear that he doesn’t want me in his life.” He shakes his head and drinks more of his beer. “And logically, I know things I should do. I could throw myself into my charities or the shelters and I could distract myself with philanthropy. But I don’t know how to do it.” 

“Do what?” 

“Live my life without him. He’s been such a vital part of me since before we were even together. Even if he didn’t know who I truly was, I still was in love with him. He was still so frequently on my mind. And for a while, I thought things had perfectly worked in my favor. But life doesn’t really work that way, does it?” 

“Henry,” Pez starts. 

Henry cuts him off. “No, Pez you don’t get it. I don’t know what I am without Alex. I finally understand my mother. When she lost my father, she retreated until there was such a desperate need for her to be a mother again that she couldn’t refuse it. What’s there for me to do? Nothing. I have no children to pull me from my stupor. I have nothing to distract me from how empty my life is now that I’ve built it around him.” 

“Your life isn’t empty. You said it yourself, you have the shelters, your charities.” He shakes his head. “You have your book that you wrote and are waiting to publish once your gran dies.” 

He takes another long pull of his beer. “That’s really nothing in comparison to what I had before.” Tear streaks stain his cheeks. “We made history,” he continues. “We made fucking history and everyone ate it up. Everyone thought we were perfect and that our lives were perfect.” 

“They pretty much were.” 

“When you’re making history, you think it’s supposed to fucking last.” He’s met with silence, so he carries on. “You never think you’ll just end up one man who married another man who doesn’t remember him anymore. Who doesn’t care to be a part of that life anymore. And what happens then? You make history by being the first international, royal, gay couple to get divorced.” 

“You’re not going to get divorced,” Pez tries. 

“So, what? We stay married but live on separate continents and never talk? That’s not a marriage. It’s just two strangers.” 

“Then why don’t you go back and fight for him?” Pez asks. “You’ve been here, miserable for weeks, Hen. This isn’t like you to give up.” 

“No, that was actually very much who I used to be. Gran gave me marching orders and I just followed them, no matter how much it hurt my life. The first time I ever actually stood up and fought for what I wanted was because of Alex.” Henry sighs. “So, running away is still very much in character for me.” 

“You need to go back.” 

“No, I don’t. I can’t just go back and fight a losing battle.” 

Pez groans, setting his bottle down on the nightstand and turning fully toward Henry. “You go back and you say, ‘I thought a lot about this and I’m not giving up. This is the life we had and it was good. We deserve to give it another chance.’ And I’m betting he’ll be so impressed that you walked back in there after you hightailed it across the ocean that he’ll hear you out.” 

“I can’t go back.” 

“Why?” 

“Because right now, there’s a chance that Alex didn’t mean what he said — even though he likely did — but if I go back and I press him on it and he passes on everything I have to offer. I can’t come back from that.” 

“Counter offer, you go back, you present him with everything you have to offer and he  _ wants  _ it. What are you going to do? Wait until he comes here to you? What if he thinks you’re just done with him so he never crosses the ocean? You were the one who left, Henry. You need to go back.” 

Henry sits there and ponders Pez’s points. They make sense, he’s just too scared to do it. He can’t fully lose Alex. 

“Just because he came chasing after you once before doesn’t mean he’ll do it again. But that also doesn’t mean that you can’t go back. This isn’t closeted Henry who thinks he can’t accept Alex’s love. Sure, you’re still scared, but of something way different. And honestly? Something with better odds, mate.” 

Pez crawls across Henry and grabs his phone from the nightstand. He drops it in his lap. “Call him.” 

“Pez, I’m not calling him.” 

“Just open a fucking dialogue. Maybe you should start talking before you go back over. Talking long distance was the hallmark of the start of your relationship. Try it again. Call him.” 

Henry stares at the phone in his lap, wondering what would happen if he did actually call Alex. Or what would happen if Alex actually answered. He takes a dramatically long pull of his beer and sets it down before picking up the phone. “Fine,” he sighs. Opening to his favorites, he clicks on Alex’s name right at the top. 

“Put it on speaker.” 

“I’m not putting it on speaker,” Henry says, batting Pez’s hand away. He waits for it to ring but it never does. 

“Hi, you’ve reached Alex Claremont-Diaz. Please leave me a message and I will return your call at my earliest convenience. Thank you and have a good day.” Henry feels choked up at the message. He remembers telling Alex that he needed a more professional voicemail recording once he started interning during law school. Alex had made the most painful face while he was recording it and Henry had to hold it together so he wasn’t laughing in the background. 

Henry pulls the phone back from his ear and hangs up. “He didn’t answer.” 

“Well, maybe he’ll see that you called and he’ll call you back.” 

“It went straight to voicemail,” Henry tells him. “It never goes straight to voicemail. Alex always has his phone on.” 

“What if it died?” 

“Or what if he blocked my number?” 

“Why would he do that?” 

“Because he doesn’t want to put up with the crazy person who thinks they’re his husband,” Henry argues. Pez just shakes his head at him. 

“You’re wrong. Maybe he had to turn his phone off. Like when you’re on a plane.” 

“Alex doesn’t turn his phone off on planes.” 

“Maybe not when he flies with you because it’s private and fancy. But his mom doesn’t have Air Force One anymore. And if he’s flying somewhere, it’s probably commercial.” 

“Why do you think he’s flying somewhere?” 

“Gee, I don’t know, because his husband is across the ocean?” 

Henry just rolls his eyes and drinks more of his beer. He decides to let Pez have his delusions. There’s no way Alex would be flying to see him. If he’s flying anywhere, it’s probably to Texas. He debates trying again, but in the end, puts his phone under his pillow. 

Pez eventually leaves, urging Henry to call Alex again. But Henry doesn’t. When the sun has set and Henry has barely moved in Pez’s absence, he makes himself get up to do something, anything at all. Oddly, the thing he settles on is opening his windows. The feel of a breeze blowing in is nice, even if a bit chilly. Henry is sitting at his desk, not doing anything in particular when he hears a voice outside. 

“Hello!” 

He tells himself it’s impossible. 

“I need to get in here! I need to talk to Prince Henry! Please let me in!” 

Henry runs to the window and looks down. He can’t believe his eyes at what he sees. When the door to the palace is open, he’s bathed in light, confirming Henry’s eyes are in fact seeing what he thinks he is. 

He backs up from the window, putting a hand to his racing heart. It doesn’t make sense, but he’s not sure he cares. He takes a moment to calm himself down. There are too many feelings coursing through him. But how could there not be? 

Alex is here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for such support for this fic! We're getting to some really exciting parts soon!


	12. In the Same Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so when I was planning out this story before I started writing it, THIS was the chapter that sold me on actually writing it all out. I hope you enjoy it!

Alex doesn’t give it a second thought when they let them past the gate immediately after Cash identifies themselves. He’s too busy planning what he’ll say when he finally sees Henry again. Alex jumps out of the car the moment it’s parked and runs to the door, stopping once he realizes he doesn’t know what to do next. 

“Hello?” he calls. He feels like an idiot. Surely there’s some chain of people he should have gone through to get here instead of just jumping on a plane. He shakes off his nerves — or tries to — and starts again. “I need to get in here! I need to talk to Prince Henry! Please let me in!” 

The door to the palace opens and a well dressed Indian man steps out with an amused look on his face. Alex doesn’t miss the look he shoots at Cash. Looking back, Cash has the same look on his face, like Alex is missing some joke. 

“Hi,” Alex says, deciding it’s not worth parsing out the mystery between them. “I know I didn’t call ahead or anything, but I need to get in there. I need to talk to Henry.” 

“When the Dukes of Wessex are in England, this is their residence.” He leans in a bit, that same amused look on his face. “I’ll remind you that you are one of the Dukes of Wessex, Alex.” 

“So, you’re saying I’m just allowed in?” 

“Basically.” 

It feels a lot easier than he was expecting. “Awesome.” 

“This is your residence as much as it is his.” 

Alex nods, running in the door. “Thanks, Shaan.” He freezes, looking back at the man who wears a similar expression. 

“Have you spoken with Zahra?” 

“No.” 

“I haven’t seen you since your accident.” 

“I know.” 

“You remembered my name.” There’s a shared grin between them. 

“I think I did!” Alex can’t really believe it. How does he remember someone who works for Henry, but he can’t remember his life with Henry? 

“I believe Henry is up in his rooms. Do you need assistance finding it?” 

Alex looks around and the place almost seems familiar. He can’t understand why. Glancing back at Shaan, he says, “Weirdly, I think I know where I’m going.” 

Shaan smiles and gives him a nod. “Let me know if you need assistance.” 

“I will, thanks.” And with that, Alex takes off again. He’s right and he does know where he’s going. It’s a mystery as to why he still remembers the layout of Kensington Palace of all things. He keeps going on instincts.  _ Another flight here, a left here.  _ And then he’s there, standing in front of what he believes is Henry’s room. Alex runs his palms down his pants. They’re starting to get a bit sweaty. He raises his hand to knock on the door and it opens before he can. 

Both he and Henry jump back, startled. “Alex,” Henry says in surprise. Alex just stares at him. He’s been staring at pictures of watching videos of him since he left, but it’s something else to see him in the flesh. There’s a voice at the back of his mind telling him to just throw his arms around Henry, but he keeps himself in check. There’s too much to talk about first. 

“Hi,” he says almost breathlessly. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Alex takes a deep breath and walks past Henry into his room. He doesn’t want to have this conversation out in the hall. Henry turns around and closes the door behind him. “You know that feeling when you have a song stuck in your head? Or sometimes it’s just a line? And it just plays in your head over and over and over for no apparent reason?” 

Henry moves past him and leans against his desk, crossing his arms. He nods. “Sure.” 

“I’ve been having this line in my head for a long time. Months, I think. It was before you left that it first popped in there.” Alex is pacing. He can’t sit still. “Finally, I just googled the line. I figured it was just some line of a song that I’d forgotten after my accident.” 

Henry sighs. “Alex, if you’re here to tell you that you’ve rediscovered some Lady Gaga song from the last six years, I don’t think I —” 

“I found our emails,” Alex says, cutting him off. Henry looks stunned. His mouth opens and closes a few times. “I was kind of surprised because they seemed like a big deal.” 

“Yes, they were,” he replies in a small voice. 

“I guess I was just surprised that none of you showed them to me.” 

Henry is silent and so is Alex. He wants to know what Henry’s going to say. “I was being selfish,” Henry finally says. 

“What?” It’s not quite what Alex was expecting to hear. 

“I was being selfish by keeping them from you. I watched you watch our wedding like it was some stranger’s wedding, or some scene from a movie I made you watch. There was no recognition, nothing. And the idea of giving you our emails, watching you read how we fell in love with the clinical detachment of reading some academic paper...it just felt like too much. So I was selfish and I kept them from you. And when June suggested it, I told her what I was feeling and she said it was my call.”

“Oh.” 

Henry closes his eyes, hanging his head. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, don’t be. I...weirdly, I get it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because if you’d have handed me the emails in my hospital bed or in the first few weeks that I was home, I don’t honestly know how I’d have reacted to them. Based on how things were going, probably not well. I don’t think I could have wrapped my mind around it the way that I did this morning. I just wasn’t there yet.” 

Henry’s eyes focus on him. “Yet?” 

Alex clears his throat. He’s accidentally showing his cards a bit faster than he meant to. In his head, he says ‘fuck it’ and plows on. “I didn’t mean it,” he says. 

Henry visibly deflates. “Oh.”

“Not that! I was referring to what I said to you that last night in New York. I didn’t mean it.” Alex runs a hand through his hair and keeps pacing. He doesn’t think he can meet Henry’s eyes as he confesses this next part. “There was this night a while back. I was cooking dinner and you were up in your room. And I came in there because I was going to ask you if I could move back in there.” 

“To our room?” Henry asks, several emotions crossing his face. 

“Yeah. But before I could say anything, I noticed you were crying. You were crying over some picture of us and it just solidified this thought in my mind.” 

“What was that?” 

Alex takes a deep breath. “That you didn’t want me without my memories. And more and more, I just kept feeling like I was finding proof of it, so I pulled back again. Started snapping at you over nothing and acting like a total dick, just as I had been at the beginning. And that night…” Alex pauses his steps. “I was already feeling awful about my job and then you wanted to help me  _ remember _ and it just felt like proof that I was right. That you don’t want me if I can’t access those memories. And so I snapped and I yelled at you and said...what I said. But I didn’t mean it. I got up the next morning and I planned to apologize and tell you that I didn’t mean it, but…” 

“But I was gone.” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry shakes his head, uncrossing his arms. “Alex, that’s not how I felt.” 

“What?” 

“I don’t care if you have your memories or not.” 

He stares at Henry. “Then why did you leave?” He continues before Henry can answer. “Because I was an asshole?” 

Henry chuckles, surprising him. “The first time around, I loved you for a while before you realized you loved me. Quite a while, actually.” He sighs and says something in a low voice. “Since the Olympics.” 

“ _ The fact that you loved me all along, _ ” he says, quoting his email back to Henry. “That’s what that meant?” 

“Did you memorize the emails?” 

Alex looks down at his feet. “I need reading material for the plane…” 

Henry laughs. He shakes his head and stands a bit straighter. “Anyway, so, I never knew how it happened. How we went from seemingly enemies to a relationship. I mean, I  _ know _ how it happened, but not really. Not in a way that I could  _ duplicate.  _ So, when you woke up and you said it was 2019 and you acted like you hated me again, I panicked. I kept waiting for the moment that you would decide that you didn’t want to be with me anymore, that the life I kept telling you about that you couldn’t remember wasn’t enough to fight for and you’d leave. Or you’d tell me to leave.” 

“And so when I yelled at you…” 

“I took that as the moment I’d been dreading happening, yes,” he says. “I didn’t want to leave, but I wanted you to be happy.” 

“So you didn’t want to leave.” 

“No.” 

“And I didn’t want you to go.” 

“So you say.” 

Alex shakes his head. “Were we always this bad at communicating?” 

“No,” Henry assures him. “We really weren’t. We’ve just been dancing around each other since the accident.” 

“Both of us playing chicken.” There’s a long silence that hangs in the space between them as they both attempt to process what’s been confessed. Alex is naturally the first one to speak again. “ _ Come back to me, you lost Pleiad. _ ” 

“Excuse me?” 

“That was the line that was in my head over and over again,” Alex tells him. “I thought it was some line from a song or a movie but it wasn’t. It was you. Somehow your words crept into my scrambled up brain and you told me to come back to you.” 

He can see the tears in Henry’s eyes as a slow smile spreads on his face. “Wow.” 

Alex takes a step closer. “Look, Henry, I know I was awful. I handled things so poorly and I treated you like shit. When you left, half of me just wanted to immediately follow you, but I made myself stay and try to do better. Try to be more of the person that I was before my accident. Nora gave me all these videos of myself — speeches, mock trials from law school, a clip from our secret wedding which we are definitely going to talk about at some point — and I watched them, trying to access who I was. Trying to realize the person that I need to be to...to be worthy of being with you.” 

Henry shakes his head. “There’s nothing you have to do to be  _ worthy  _ of me. That’s ridiculous.” 

“No, it’s not. Not to me.” Alex stands there watching him and it hits him, just how much he’s wanted Henry since he’s been gone. “I missed you. That house is great, but it’s just empty without you there.” 

Henry sniffles, staring back at Alex. “I’ve missed you too.” 

“I know that I’m a lot to handle, especially in the last few months. But, I came here for you. Because I want to be with you. Would you...would you come back to New York with me? You don’t have to answer right away, you can take some time to think. I just —” 

Henry steps forward, placing his hands on both sides of Alex’s face and kissing him, effectively shutting him up. Alex is stunned for about a second before he leans into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Henry’s waist. 

He breaks apart almost as suddenly, leaning his forehead against Alex’s. “Of course I’ll come back to New York with you.” He pulls back a bit further, looking him in the eye. “I love you, Alex. You and your scrambled brain,” he promises, laying a kiss on Alex’s forehead. 

Alex opens his mouth and closes it again, not sure what to say. So instead, he says nothing at all, leaning in and kissing Henry again. He smiles into the kiss, his hands reaching up and running through Alex’s hair. It grows more passionate than the one before. Both of them are expressing the weeks spent apart, the months spent attempting to recover  _ this.  _ Alex clutches to him like he’ll never let him go. And frankly, he knows he should never let him go. 

When they pull apart, both of them are panting slightly. Henry brings Alex into a long hug, simply holding him. Alex wraps his arms back around Henry and leans into the easy comfort he provides. He wonders briefly if he could have had this the whole time if he hadn’t been such an asshole. Pushing the thought away, he tucks his face into Henry’s neck, breathing in his scent, really him and not just his pillow. 

“Can you tell me more about the emails?” Alex asks, breaking the long moment between them. 

Henry pulls back and nods, walking over to the couch and gesturing for Alex to follow. He sits down right next to him, not needing any space like he used to. “What do you want to know?” 

“How the fuck it happened?” 

“You mean the leak?” Alex nods. Henry settles a bit further into the couch, looking down at their clasped hands once Alex tentatively reaches out and takes his. He sits there and tells him how it happened, how Richards outed them to the world and how in the end, they were the victorious ones. Alex tries to picture him in a room going up against the queen and it’s an entertaining visual image. 

“They were kind of intense...our emails,” Alex says. 

Henry laughs. “Yeah, they were.” 

Alex debates what he wants to say next. He doesn’t want to upset the delicate balance between them. But everyone keeps telling him to say what he’s feeling instead of keeping it in and snapping. He’s trying really hard to listen to that advice, especially when it comes to Henry. 

“I think I’m remembering little things,” Alex says hesitantly. Henry’s gaze is locked on him, no expression on his face. “Not, you know, big important stuff, like how to be a lawyer or anything, but little stuff here and there. Like, I knew Shaan’s name without being introduced. And I knew how to get up here to your room without anyone showing me. I remembered half of that line from your email after hearing you talk about the documentary you were watching. I know it’s not a lot, but maybe it’s starting to come back.” 

Henry holds Alex’s face and he thinks he might kiss him again. Instead, he holds intense eye contact with him, making sure Alex is listening. “Alex, it truly does not matter to me if your memories come back or not. I promise you. You are enough.” 

Alex hates that tears spring to his eyes in that moment. “It would just be easier if they would come back.” 

“Of course it would be easier,” Henry says with a watery laugh, “but it doesn’t matter. Not to me.” 

He wipes away some tears falling down his cheeks. “I may need some reminding,” he tells Henry. 

Henry smiles, wiping stray tears from Alex’s cheek as well. “I can do that.” 

Alex wraps his arms around Henry again, holding him tight. Henry’s hand runs up and down his back, an incredibly comforting gesture. He starts telling Henry about the videos he watched, wanting Henry’s input on them. “So we had a secret wedding?” 

With a laugh, Henry tells him how it happened. Alex laughs and tries to picture the scene, only able to after watching the video from Nora. 

Alex stops him, putting a hand on his leg. Henry’s eyes cut down to where Alex is touching him. He pointedly doesn’t move his hand. “Wait, did we dance to “Your Song” by Elton John at our wedding?” 

Henry watches him in awe for a moment. “We did.” He laughs a bit to himself. “It was one of the only consistencies between both weddings.” 

“I have this image in my head. It’s a little foggy, but it’s you and me and that song. You said we danced to it at both our weddings?” 

“Yes.”

“Where was our reception for the royal wedding?” 

Henry watches him curiously. “It was in a ballroom at Buckingham. Why?” 

Alex sighs in frustration. “Well this picture I have in my head, it’s of you and me in what looks like a chapel, like we’re still in a church. I don’t get it.” He looks over and sees the soft look on Henry’s face. “What?” 

“That wasn’t either of our weddings,” Henry tells him, a contagious smile on his face. 

“When was it?” 

Henry picks up Alex’s hand and plays with his fingers as he tells the story. “There was a time in the first year of our relationship when I fled back here to England and yet again, you chased after me. You came here in the night and yelled outside my window until you were let in.” 

“Wait, were Cash and Shaan there?” 

“Yes.” 

Alex throws his head back against the couch. “ _ That’s  _ why they shared a weird look downstairs!” He turns to Henry, squeezing his hand. “Did I basically repeat history tonight?” 

Henry laughs and nods. “Basically. But anyway, while you were here, we snuck into the V&A at night and —” 

“We broke into a museum?” 

“It’s not  _ breaking in  _ if you have a key!” Henry defends. Alex shakes his head with a laugh. Fuck, he’s missed this man. “ _ Anyway _ ,” he says pointedly. “We were in the V&A and there’s this one room that has all these church relics. And that was where we were. That was where we danced to that song.” 

Alex closes his eyes, picturing it again. A smile grows on his face as he views it with context now. “Thank you,” he says to Henry. 

“For what?” 

He sighs. “There are little flashes of things in there and I don’t know what they mean. But it helps to have context, to know what it was and how it was important.” 

Henry leans over and kisses his temple, the same way he’d done weeks before, but this time, he doesn’t freeze afterward. “I’m always here for that.” 

In reply, Alex just leans in and kisses him. 

  
  


Once Alex starts yawning, Henry decides it’s time for them to go to bed. He brushes his teeth and goes about his nightly routine ahead of Alex. He’s a few steps behind, watching Henry wind down for the night. Weirdly, Alex starts to feel a nervous knot form in his stomach. He’s kissed Henry several times tonight which is more than they’d done when he decided to ask Henry to move back into his room before. But this feels different. He’s more invested this time. Life without Henry sucks and he doesn’t want to fuck things up. 

So when Henry climbs into his bed, staying only on one side, Alex hovers just outside the doorway to the bathroom and watches, biting his lip. “Uh, is it okay for me —” 

“Just get in the bed,” Henry tells him, cutting him off. 

Alex breathes out a laugh. It’s that easy. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure that was okay with you.” 

Henry gives him a confused look. “Of course it’s okay with me.” He sits up in bed, staring at Alex. “Is it okay with you? Because if you don’t want to, there are other places to sleep. I could have one of the rooms in the guest quarters made up.” 

“No, this is good!” Alex nearly yells. The mention of guest rooms settles things. He’s not going back into the guest room. It never should have happened in the first place. “This is fine. Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.” 

Henry nods, a kind smile on his face. He lays down, not watching as Alex climbs in next to him. Alex lays on his back, feeling awkward, but also strangely like he’s in the right place. It’s a weird combination. He’s not sure what he wants to do — if he wants to keep his space or roll over and cuddle with Henry. Fuck, he can’t remember if Henry is a cuddler. 

As if Henry can read his mind, he simply reaches over and laces his fingers through Alex’s. It feels like the perfect amount for how he’s feeling. Alex pulls their joined hands up and presses a kiss against Henry’s hand. “Good night, Henry.” 

Henry grins back at him, squeezing his hand in his. “Good night, Alex.” 

And for the first time in a very long time, it does feel like it’s been a good night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we can all breathe a sigh of relief, yeah? Thanks so much for all the support and kind things said about this story so far!


	13. Warming Back Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of chapters this week. It was a tough week. But here we go with another one! Thanks for reading!

Henry wakes up to a warm body wrapped around him. For a moment, he doesn’t even question it. He lays there, everything feeling just right. Until he remembers. Slowly, he opens his eyes, scared that if he makes even the slightest movement, Alex will wake up and this moment will be over. Looking down at his husband, he sees Alex wrapped around him, just as he’d suspected with his eyes closed. His face is tucked into Henry’s neck, his arms around his torso. Henry is holding him back, but he’s far from surprised by that. 

Maybe somewhere, deep in that scrambled brain of his, Alex remembers lazy mornings waking up like this, or the nights they reveled in living in the same place and spent them wrapped around each other. Henry feels his breath against his neck and he ever-so-slightly tightens his arms around Alex. It’s been too many months of wanting this back. Things don’t feel quite as settled as he wants them to, but this still feels right. 

Henry closes his eyes again and leans into it. He’s not going to deny himself the lazy joy of waking up tangled with his husband. 

He can feel when Alex’s breath hitches, when he starts to move. Henry expects him to jump back from him, to feel awkward, but he doesn’t. Alex rubs his hand along Henry’s back and places a kiss at his neck. Henry pulls his head back so he can see Alex’s face better. They make eye contact and hold it, a small smile spreading on both their faces. 

“Morning,” Alex says with a grin. 

“Good morning.” 

Alex props himself up and leans over to kiss Henry quickly. He falls back onto the bed, separating himself slightly from Henry. “You know, for a royal, this bed isn’t as comfy as I’d expect.” Henry starts to laugh. “Definitely not as comfy as the bed at home.” 

Henry’s playing with the blanket so that he has something to do. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never slept in the guest room.” 

Alex coughs, running a hand through his hair. When Henry looks over, he’s got an awkward look on his face. “I, uh, actually meant our bed,” he says. Henry raises his eyebrows. “After you left, I started sleeping in there.” 

“You did?” 

Alex nods. “Yeah. I couldn’t really explain it, but I did. I think I just…” he trails off, taking a deep breath. Henry reaches out and holds his hand. Alex looks down at their joined hands, squeezing Henry’s. “I think I just wanted to feel close to you.” 

It’s Henry’s turn to not really know what to say. He simply squeezes Alex’s hand back. They hold eye contact, both of them looking for answers in the other’s eyes. Henry can feel himself lean in and Alex is doing the same. Slowly, they meet in the middle, kissing softly, sweetly. 

Alex pulls back with a shy grin. “Ugh, morning breath,” he says jokingly. “I think I’m gonna jump in the shower if that’s okay.” 

Henry nods. “Of course.” Alex surprises him by leaning back in and kissing Henry once more before he gets out of bed. 

Henry, on the other hand, lays in bed, luxuriating in the feelings surrounding him. He waits until the water is running for a while before he pulls out his phone. The phone rings once before it’s answered. “Henry?” 

“You know I hate to say it, but I have to admit, you were right.” 

Pez laughs. “Oh? What about now?” 

“Alex is here.” 

He hears a dramatic gasp on the other end of the line. Henry rolls his eyes, but he’s wearing a large grin. “Are you serious? He actually showed up?”

“He did.” 

“Henry, that’s amazing!” 

“I know.” 

“Can I ask why he showed up?” 

Henry looks over at the door to the bathroom. “He missed me. He says he’s here for me. He wants me to come back to New York with him.” 

Pez nearly squeals. Henry has to pull the phone away from his ear. “Henry, wow. That’s just perfect. I’m very happy for you.” 

“Thank you. I just had to keep you updated.” 

“You deserve this, Hen.” 

Henry smiles before realizing he hasn’t replied. “Thank you,” he says in a small voice. “I’ve got to go. We’ll talk soon.” 

“Yes, I’ll be eager to hear about all the adventures you have, reminding Alex of all the places you’ve banged around the palace. Maybe recreating the scene?” 

“Bye, Pez!” Henry nearly yells. He hangs up, chuckling to himself. His phone flops down on the bed as he thinks about Pez’s point. It’s one thing for Alex to kiss him. Another yet, to have Alex wrap himself around him while he was asleep. But Henry’s not sure what the road of getting back to their sex life will be. He certainly doesn’t want Alex to feel uncomfortable. 

With a sigh, Henry realizes he’ll just have to let Alex take the lead. It makes sense in a way, since Henry let him take the physical lead after he kissed him and then bolted. 

He’s laying on his bed overthinking when Alex walks out of the bathroom, clad in only a towel. He grins at Henry as he walks over to his bag. For a moment, Henry envisions walking over and ripping the towel off of him, of sinking down to his knees and reminding him just how expertly he can blow his mind. But he stays where he is, his eyes following Alex’s every move. He needs to stand by his earlier point. Alex will have to lead things. 

Henry hasn’t looked away when Alex drops the towel. Alex turns around as he pulls on his boxers and catches Henry watching him. A smug grin crosses Alex’s face. “Sorry, figured it was nothing you’d never seen before.” 

He breathes out a laugh. “You’d be right about that,” Henry says in a choked voice. He wonders if Alex hears it. Alex already knows that Henry loves him, but somehow it feels like too much for Alex to know that he’s still insanely attracted to him. Henry jumps up and heads to the bathroom. “Well, since you’re out, I might as well…” 

Henry closes the door behind him and leans his head against it, taking a deep breath. He hates that he thinks about Alex joining him in the shower. He hates that he has very clear memories of times that it has happened. He hates that as the water rushes over him, it’s all he can think of. It feels insane to him that his own  _ husband  _ has him this riled up. What has his life come to? Normally if his husband had him this riled up, he’d just  _ do  _ something about it. 

He palms himself and lets the thoughts run through his head as he drags his hand up and down. Biting his lip until it almost bleeds, he suppresses a yell as he comes, watching it run down the drain, hopefully along with the thoughts of all the things he’d like to do to Alex. 

Henry is clothed as he walks out of the bathroom. He may have seen Alex’s body before, but Alex doesn’t remember seeing his. Right now, he doesn’t feel that easy confidence that Alex clearly comes by. He looks around for Alex and finds him over by the door, kneeling on the floor. 

“Who’s a good boy?” Alex asks in a high voice. “You are. You’re such a good boy!” 

Henry walks closer and sees him bent over David, clearly pleased to be reunited. He can’t help but smile as David picks his head up and licks Alex’s face, causing Alex to laugh brightly. 

“You know,” Henry says, grabbing Alex’s attention. “If you hadn’t made such passionate overtures, I might have thought you just came here for David.” 

To his surprise, Alex laughs loudly. Henry kneels down beside him, running a hand down David’s back. “You know, you might not be too far off.” Henry doesn’t know how to reply. Alex looks up at him, noting the uncertainty on his face. He reaches out and pulls at Henry’s collar, bringing him closer, kissing him soundly. Henry can feel himself smiling into the kiss. “It was you,” Alex whispers as he pulls back. He looks down at the dog again, giving him an emphatic pat. “But David was a strong second.” 

They walk down to breakfast, Alex commenting on the palace as they go. Henry doesn’t fight him on anything — he’s right about it all anyway. He just relaxes in having his husband next to him again. He’s listening to Alex talk about his own family home when they walk into the kitchen to the sound of gasps. Henry and Alex both stop, Alex’s hand reaching out — likely on instinct — to grab at Henry’s. 

Bea and Philip are sitting at the table, staring over at them with wide eyes. “Alex?” they both ask. 

Henry looks over to see Alex recover a bit. He raises his hand and waves to them, offering a small “hi.” 

The sound of a chair skidding back is the first thing Henry processes before a pair of arms are thrown around Alex, hugging him tightly. Henry stares at him and Alex looks over as he slowly picks up his arms and hugs back. Both of them are stunned. Henry turns to Bea, still sitting at the table and she looks equally as stunned. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Philip says as he still hugs Alex tightly. 

Henry clears his throat, wanting to save all of them from this awkwardness, not only Alex. Philip takes a step back, releasing Alex.

“Uh, well, I just got here last night,” Alex tells him. 

“You’re here,” Philip says again. He’s staring at Alex like he has two heads or appeared by magic. 

“I am, Philip,” Alex says, shooting a confused look at Henry. 

“You remember?” Philip asks, gasping again. “Oh my god!” 

Alex holds up his hands. “You’re the second in line for the crown in the most popular royal family in the world,” Alex reminds him. “I knew who you were before I was ever with Henry.” 

Philip visibly deflates. “Oh. Sure, of course.” 

Bea takes that as her moment to jump into action. She edges Philip aside and wraps Alex in a calmer hug. “It’s good to see you, Alex.” 

“And you, Bea,” he says. 

She steps back with an amused look on her face. “Bea, not Beatrice?” 

Alex laughs with a shrug. “I mean, Henry has told stories about you. As well as June and Nora. And weirdly, some tiny things are there, just not the big stuff.” 

“He knew Shaan’s name,” Henry tells them as he stands at the coffee pot. 

“I did. That’s true,” Alex agrees. 

“So what do you remember?” Philip presses. 

Henry notices as Alex tenses. “Uh, it’s still not much.” 

“But you’re here?” Philip asks. 

Henry looks up from the cup of coffee he’s stirring and sees Alex watching him with a small smile on his face. “I am.” Henry smiles back, handing him the coffee. Alex’s eyes go excitedly wide for a moment. He mouths “thank you” at Henry and turns back to Philip. 

Henry takes his tea and walks over to sit at the table. It seems like Alex is holding court. As it is, Henry can’t really explain all the feelings running through him at the moment. It’s too much of a jumble. But still the best he’s felt since Alex’s accident. 

Bea walks over and sits back down next to him. “And how are you doing?” she asks. 

Henry smirks around his cup of tea. “I’m doing quite well,” he says, simplifying things. 

“I’m glad. I knew he wouldn’t just give up.” 

Henry watches Alex gamely looking at pictures of Philip’s kids. “I wish I’d felt that way too. But either way, he’s here.” 

“Are you going to go back to New York?” 

Henry nods. “He asked me to go back with him.” 

Bea leans over and wraps an arm around Henry’s shoulder. “I’m so happy for you, H.” They sit there and listen to Alex and Philip’s conversation for a moment. “I guess that means you can cancel that meeting you had with a lawyer next week.” 

“Yes, I believe so.” 

Bea shakes her head at him. “I told you that was a dumb idea in the first place.” 

“I recall, Beatrice. Not the point.” 

“Aren’t you glad I made you push it for a while in the future?” 

Henry just glares at her. He knows the way he felt during the time he spent back here before last night. The last thing he needs is his sister making him feel like a fool for it. As far as he knew, Alex was done with him. And if Alex hadn’t shown up last night, he’d still believe that. It took Alex saying a lot of very convincing things for Henry to finally not believe that anymore. 

He’s about to reply when Philip is nearly dragging Alex closer to the table. “I had a brilliant idea!” Philip says. 

“Did you now?” Bea asks with a grin. 

“We should have a family dinner tonight. All of us and Martha and the kids. And Mother.” 

“Are you planning to invite the Queen because I don’t know if I’m up for that,” Alex admits, shooting a look at Henry. Henry laughs. 

“No, Gran won’t be here if we do this,” Bea promises. She looks over at Henry and then at Alex. “I think it sounds like an entertaining idea.” 

Henry doesn’t really want to parade his amnesiac husband that he just got back around his family that is likely going to be very awkward and uncomfortable. He looks over at Alex who just shrugs. “Sounds good to me,” he says. 

He takes that as his vote. Matching Alex’s shrug, he says, “All right, fine. Could be fun.” 

“Wonderful!” Philip cries. “Henry, you have that meeting with Mum today, right? You should just mention it to her then. I’m sure she’ll love the idea.” 

“Oh shit,” Henry says. “I do have that meeting.” He looks at his watch. 

“Henry, just cancel it. Alex is here. She’ll understand,” Bea urges. 

Henry really thinks she would. It’s really just a formality. His mother has been requesting official meetings with him mainly to get him out of his rooms. “I’ll go with you if I can tag along,” Alex offers. “Would be nice to see a bit of London.” 

He watches him for a moment, making sure that he really means it. Finally, he nods. “Sure, all right.” 

“Perfect,” Philip says, clapping his hands together. “I’ll be off and inform Martha and the children. Oh, they’ll be so pleased to see you, Alex.” 

Alex waits until Philip is out of the room before he sits down at the table with Bea and Henry. Alex leans closer to Henry. “Okay, am I wrong? I kind of had this impression that you don’t like your brother.” 

Bea laughs and Henry shushes her. He contemplates his answer as he takes a sip of his tea. Alex follows his lead and takes a drink of his coffee, ahhing afterward. Henry does his best to suppress a smile, but he doesn’t think he pulls it off. “My relationship with Philip is...complicated…” 

Alex gives him a look and it’s Henry’s turn to laugh. 

“It’s just the best way to describe it, sadly,” Bea tells Alex. 

“Philip spent a good amount of my life making me feel bad for things I couldn’t really control.” 

“Like being gay?” Alex asks. 

Henry nods. “But after our emails were leaked and we fought like hell for my family to acknowledge our relationship, Philip...sort of started coming around. He apologized and it took us a long time to believe that he really meant it.” 

“And then Henry defected off to New York to be with you and I was stuck with all of his apologies,” Bea cuts in. 

Alex laughs and Henry shakes his head. “Once he had the kids, we made it a mission to show them that there’s nothing wrong with our lifestyle.” 

“Living in sin,” Bea says with a cackle. 

Alex holds out his hand to Bea. “Hey! We’re married!” 

Henry takes a moment as he realizes that Alex is still wearing his ring. He noticed it back in New York, but he figured when he left, Alex took it off. His eyes linger a long time on that band, causing Alex to snap his fingers. Henry shakes his head with a small apology. “Anyway, you insisted that we had to be present in their lives so that Philip can’t get away with making them think that being gay is a bad thing like Philip made me think my whole life.” 

“And it also mended relationships a bit?” 

“Just a bit. In a way we weren’t really expecting. We weren’t  _ close  _ but we were amicable at least. And when I came back here, Philip was here which was a shock to me.” 

“Either way, it was still fucking shocking to us to see him jump up and hug you,” Bea adds. 

“Good to know,” Alex says, taking a sip of his coffee. 

It’s Henry’s suggestion that they walk to Buckingham from Kensington. It’s an unseasonably nice day out, reflecting Henry’s mood. Alex keeps pace with him, asking him innocuous questions about London or the things they’re passing. Neither of them act like there have been weeks where they questioned whether they even had a future together. 

Henry really only agreed to have Alex come with him because he knew if he just cancelled his “meeting” with his mother, she’d just show up at Kensington. It’s certainly easier to just show her why Henry is starting to feel more optimistic. 

Alex grows silent halfway into their walk. Henry looks over at him and notices the contemplative look on his face. He can’t help but wonder what’s on his mind or if Alex even wants to share with him. With a small sigh, Henry continues on, deciding that Alex will let him know if there’s something he needs to know. 

He’s taken barely a few steps when Alex slows down. “Henry, can I ask you a question?” 

Henry turns around and looks at him, a bit startled by the suddenness of his stopping. “Of course. What is it?” 

“Okay, so it wasn’t really eavesdropping. I could just hear you talking while Philip was talking to me. I’m sure his kids are great, but I could only hear about them for so long before I started to phase out a bit. And I heard you and Bea talking.” 

“Okay…” 

“Something about a lawyer?” 

Henry’s stomach clenches. He asked Bea to cancel the meeting, hoping he’d never have to discuss it with Alex. “Yes.” 

Alex swallows harshly, keeping his distance from Henry. “Were you...were you going to divorce me?” 

He’s not sure how to reply. Finally, he decides honesty is the best answer. “Yes,” he admits. He hates the look on Alex’s face. “Not because I wanted to. It just seemed like the practical next step. I mean, I thought that you…” He shakes his head, sticking out his chin a bit. “You know what I thought. So, I figured I’d give you what I thought you wanted — your freedom from me.” 

Alex is silent for an uncharacteristically long time. Henry thinks he almost sees tears shining in his eyes. “Oh,” he finally says. “Gotcha.” He closes his eyes, hanging his head. “And you know what I thought, so if I’d have gotten those papers, I’d have probably just signed them,” Alex says, looking back up at him. 

“And we’d never have known the truth,” Henry whispers. 

Alex steps forward, grabbing Henry’s arms. “I don’t want that.” 

“I don’t either. I cancelled the appointment. Once you were here and we both knew what was really going on, I cancelled it,” Henry promises. 

Alex stares up at him, a pleading look in his eyes. “I need you, Henry,” he says. “You said that we communicated well enough before. I don’t want us to lose each other just because we’re tiptoeing around the other. That’s idiotic. I want to be with you. I — I…” 

Henry has a feeling of deja vu. He can tell what Alex is about to say before Alex is going to say it. It’s the same feeling as being back in the lake with him, except this time, he’s not going anywhere. 

But also, this time, Alex doesn’t say it, even when he has the chance. 

“I need you,” he says again. Henry wonders if he has to build up to those three words. He’s here, and that’s enough for Henry right now. “Please promise me that we’ll be better. Both of us. We’ll actually talk about shit instead of just running away.” 

“I promise,” Henry says with an intent look on his face. 

“I promise, too,” Alex replies, holding Henry’s gaze. He surges forward and kisses Henry. 

Henry momentarily forgets where they are. He forgets that they’re in public. He forgets their security on either side of them, at a respectful distance. He forgets that now both of them are royalty. He forgets everything but the press of Alex’s lips to his and the feel of his curls under his fingers. Henry returns the kiss eagerly, deepening it. There’s desperation between them, a promise to be made and kept. It feels powerful and right. It’s easy to forget that anyone else exists when Alex’s arms slide around his waist, gripping him tighter, when his tongue slides between his lips. Henry forgets everything but the pure passion of this moment. 

They break apart slowly, both panting. Alex reaches up and runs his hand over Henry’s cheek. He grabs it, holding it there, leaning into it. “I love you,” Henry whispers, feeling that anything louder will break this moment. 

He doesn’t say it to make Alex say it back. Alex tucks his face into Henry’s neck and hugs him tightly. Henry wraps his arms around Alex, feeling what he thinks Alex can’t quite yet say. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to have a lot more in it, but as I was writing it, I knew it was going to be way too long, so I split it up. I was trying to decide if this was the right place to split it when I realized that they were in the exact same position at the end of the chapter as they were in the beginning. It felt like a good mirroring. I hope to have the next chapter soon! Thanks for reading and all the kind comments!


	14. The Spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support for this fic! It's been so lovely! Here's another chapter and we have a changed rating going forward.

Alex is holding Henry’s hand as they enter Buckingham Palace. He can’t help but look around at the ornate building as Henry pulls him in the direction of where they’ll find his mother. Alex watches as Henry leads the way easily. His mind can’t stop reeling over the revelations they had on the way over. There’s a lingering fear within him, even though he knows they’re being more open with each other. But each time he thinks about how close he came to truly fucking everything up and losing Henry for good, he panics just a little. 

He thinks back on the speech he made when they went public with their relationship.  _ He is my choice.  _ Alex is standing at that moment again. Henry is still his choice. Is his choice  _ again.  _ He knows what his life is like with Henry in it and what it’s like without him and there’s no contest. He thinks maybe that’s another thing he should be honest about with Henry. He needs to know how much Alex truly  _ wants  _ him. 

Henry keeps looking over at him. He has been since they pulled apart and kept on walking to Buckingham. Every so often, Henry just turns and looks at him, making sure he’s all right. Each time, Alex just squeezes his hand, trying to continue on with whatever filler conversation they’re having. He does it now too, squeezing Henry’s hand to let him know he’s fine. Henry squeezes back, shooting a smile in his direction. 

Finally, they reach the room where Catherine is waiting. Henry walks in, stepping toward her, while Alex hovers near the doorway. He doesn’t want to step on some mother/son moment. Henry mentioned that she’d been setting up these meetings to make sure Henry isn’t wallowing alone in his room. (Another thing for Alex to feel guilty about.) It’s nice to see the small moment they share, even if he doesn’t think he should be watching. He remembers from things Henry’s said and mentions in his emails that Henry’s relationship with his mother has gone through some changes in recent years — for the better. It’s nice to get to see it. 

“Alex?” she says, drawing him from his mind. He smiles and waves. Henry gestures for him and he steps further into the room, planting himself at Henry’s side. “You’re here in London?” 

“Yeah, I got here last night.” 

He can see tears filling her eyes and he wonders if maybe she won’t feel the same way that Bea and Philip felt about seeing him here. “Is it all right if I hug you?” she asks. He laughs and nods, stepping forward with his arms outstretched. Her arms come around him, embracing him with the same warmth that his mother would. “It’s so wonderful to see you, my dear.” He can’t explain it, but he feels choked up. Alex just nods in reply. Pulling back, Catherine reaches up and puts her hands on either side of his face, watching him intently. “How are you doing? How are you feeling?” 

Alex is more touched by her concern than he wants to be. He thinks of the fight he had with Henry a few days after he came home — about how his family was Henry’s family too. This is the moment that he realizes more of what he’d lost. He didn’t just lose Henry along with his memories, he lost a whole other side of his family. He tries to suppress the feelings that come with that. Those can be dealt with later, maybe with Henry’s help. 

“I’m okay,” Alex says, unsure of how to express everything. He looks over at Henry and flashes him a small smile. “Better now that I’m here.” 

Catherine smiles brilliantly and looks between them. “I’m so happy to hear that.” She steps back from Alex and towards a table with a teapot. “You know Beatrice and I were all ready to come visit you both and be of whatever help we could be, but Henry told us not to.” 

Alex glances over at Henry just in time to see him roll his eyes. It makes Alex snicker. “I think he had good intentions. Things were...tough before.” Henry meets his gaze, a significant look passing between them. “But, I think we’re both a bit more determined now to make things better.” 

She looks over at them, a fond expression on her face. “You know, I think that’s the case for any marriage, not just ones affected by memory loss.” 

Henry takes his hand and squeezes it before he walks over to sit in a chair by his mother. She’s grabbing three teacups off a cart and pouring tea for each of them. 

“Wait, was your meeting just having tea together?” Alex asks. 

Henry looks a bit sheepish as he accepts a cup from his mother. “Yes.” 

Alex laughs, sitting in a chair near them. “You are  _ so  _ British.” 

Catherine turns to him, a cup extended. “Do you like Earl Grey, Alex?” 

He bites his lip, wondering if he does actually like it. The smell was always pleasant any time Henry was drinking it. He missed the smell of his tea while Henry was here and Alex was there. “Umm…” 

“He does. One sugar, splash of milk,” Henry says before quickly taking a sip of his own tea. 

Alex looks at him with an amused grin. “Just know me so well, huh?” Henry just shrugs. Alex accepts the cup from Catherine, prepared to Henry’s specifications. Much like his coffee, Alex delights at the taste of it, wondering if Henry brought him around to tea in the last six years. He thinks it’s highly unlikely that he’d ever trade coffee for tea completely, but maybe a cup now and then isn’t so bad. 

He listens as Catherine and Henry discuss goings on with people they know. Alex wonders if he knows them too or if he’d normally be this lost. “Oh, and Philip has decided we’re going to have a family dinner since Alex is here. All of us. Well, except Gran.” 

His mother’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Philip decided this?” Henry nods. It’s clear she shows the same shock that her daughter and youngest son did this morning. “Goodness, being a father has changed him in ways I never could have expected.” 

“I agree. It’s very strange. I didn’t realize he cared so much for Alex until this morning,” Henry remarks. “No offense,” he says to Alex with a hand on his arm. Alex just pats his hand. 

“Well, I’ll be there,” Catherine says, shaking her head in slight awe. “I wouldn’t want to miss something of this sort.” 

When they leave Buckingham, they walk back to Kensington in no real rush. There’s nowhere they need to be. Alex takes Henry’s hand, feeling the need to be close to him. He can’t explain it — just like everything else he feels — he just  _ knows  _ it’s what he needs. Henry doesn’t object, simply laces their fingers together. 

He finds he keeps having to readjust his image of Henry in his mind. It’s something he’s been doing since he woke up. He was so certain that Henry was this self-centered, snobbish prick that could never have ended up with Alex without something odd happening. But then Alex adjusted to the image of Henry as a dedicated caretaker and patient —  _ so damn patient _ — husband. His image readjusted to a man obsessed with the things from the past, including Alex’s memories. But that image he had to readjust too, now that he knows that Henry was only doing what he thought  _ Alex  _ wanted. It still scares the shit out of him how close they were to losing everything. 

Part of him wonders if he’s coming on too strongly, being attached to Henry constantly — holding his hand, touching his arm, kissing him when it’s just the two of them. It’s got its purposes though. He wants Henry to know that he meant what he said, that he’s there because he wants to be with him. But he also wants to be comfortable with that again. Surely they were before. Alex is attracted to Henry. There’s no denying that. When he woke up this morning wrapped around Henry, he had to rush to the shower before he embarrassed himself, before Henry could have felt what might have been pressed against him. It wasn’t  _ just  _ the morning. 

He wants to act on the way he feels, but he doesn’t know how he did it before. How can he ask Henry something like that?  _ Gee, Henry, can you tell me how I used to show my affection for you? I want to make sure I’m doing it the right way now.  _

Henry is talking about some trip they took to Paris and Alex wants to listen, but he’s so caught up in his own head, in the dilemmas that are so fucking specific that it feels like no one has ever experienced them before. It doesn’t feel like Henry minds the way that Alex has been touching him or treating him. In fact, in a weird way, it almost feels  _ familiar.  _ He can’t explain that either. 

Alex knows how he feels about Henry. He just can’t explain how he got there that fast. Maybe it started slower than he thought, like Henry chipped away at the wall Alex immediately threw back up between them after his accident. Maybe the wall came back down slowly with breakfasts prepped without question or walks with David or watching  _ Star Wars  _ and arguing over their favorite scenes. Maybe his defenses were chipped away when he realized how much Henry did for him, even when he was being an almighty dick to him. Maybe his wall crumbled the moment he discovered the depth of their relationship and validated the mix of feelings inside him that he’d been hesitant to name. 

All he knows is that the more of Henry that is revealed to him, the more of him he wants. 

Alex doesn’t even realize that Henry has stopped walking until there’s a pull where their hands are connected. He stops and looks back at Henry. They’re inside the grounds of Kensington. He wonders if Henry wants to show him something, but he just has a confused look on his face. “Are you all right?” 

He nods in reply. Henry takes a step forward and cups his cheek with his hand. Alex leans into it, needing the comfort Henry is offering him. “Having memory loss is just really fucking hard,” Alex whispers. Henry says nothing, just pulls Alex against him in a tight hug, one hand running through his hair and the other up and down his back. It’s so damn comforting. 

June was right every time she told him to talk about his feelings. This is so much better than shoving things down and retreating to his room, backing away from Henry. Instead of that, he wraps his arms tightly around Henry’s waist. “I know it is,” Henry whispers in his ear. “But I promise you, you’re not alone.” 

Alex feels tears stinging his eyes, his throat tight. “Thank you,” he whispers back. 

He feels a bit drained by the time they get back into the Palace. Using jet lag as an excuse, Alex decides to take a nap. He thinks maybe it’s better to try and sleep off these feelings before he comes face to face with all of Henry’s family at dinner. Thankfully, Henry is completely understanding. He crawls into bed next to Alex, pulling out a book. Alex wonders if he wants to be as near to Alex as he’s wanted to be near to Henry. 

Sleep takes him faster than usual. It’s a deep enough sleep to dream. He’s standing with Henry in a hundred different rooms. Henry takes him by the hand, directing him from room to room, each one with a massively different feel. It’s like a museum with no cohesive flow. They’re in an art exhibit, and then they’re in their bedroom in New York. They’re in a hotel room with marble floors, then they’re in a meeting room in a palace. Henry leads him from room to room, some familiar, some not. Finally, they stop in Alex’s bedroom at the White House. Henry pushes him down on the bed and takes off his clothes. He kisses Alex deeply, starting to work his way down his body. 

Alex startles awake before Dream Henry reaches his destination. 

He’s breathing heavily, trying to parse out the meaning of the rest of the dream before it disappears. There’s no missing the meaning of the end of the dream. 

Henry’s still next to him, turning when he realizes Alex is awake again. He runs his hand through Alex’s hair, leaning down and looking at him. “You okay?” 

Alex nods, unable to say much else. He’s drawn in by the blue of Henry’s eyes, by the fondness and concern written on his face. Alex doesn’t give it much thought when he grabs Henry by his shirt and yanks him down to press their lips together. Henry huffs out a surprised breath, but returns the kiss fully. 

He kisses Henry deeply, his mind supplying images of every fantasy he’s had, of the dream that just played through his head. Henry hovers just over him, supporting himself with one arm, running his other hand down Alex’s torso. His fingers dip under Alex’s shirt, finding his bare skin. Alex swallows a sound at the feel of Henry’s hand against him. He starts pulling at Henry’s shirt. The buttons come undone easier than he expects, given that he’s paying very little attention to them and more to the way Henry’s tongue tangles with his. 

Henry lays out on top of him, moving his mouth from Alex’s, pressing kisses to his neck. He does it just as he had in the dream. Alex wonders if those were all memories — all the different rooms. It’s not the time for deep thinking as he feels Henry’s tongue against his collarbone. Alex reaches up and cards his fingers through Henry’s hair, pulling slightly. He feels Henry’s groan against his chest. 

As eager as Alex is for what comes next, he still nudges Henry back up, meeting him in another heady kiss. Henry rolls his hips and Alex moans loudly and grips onto him tighter. He finally remembers Henry’s shirt and undoes the last button, shoving it off his shoulders. Alex pulls back for a moment and stares at Henry hovering above him, his gorgeous body on display. He runs his hands up Henry’s abs and pulls him back down into another eager kiss. 

Henry has his earlobe between his teeth when some sound rings through the room. Alex is ready to ignore it, but Henry groans in annoyance. He rolls off Alex and grabs his phone, stopping the sound. Henry lays there next to him, breathing heavily. They both are. Alex turns to look at him, ready to resume what they started, but Henry has a regretful look on his face as he glances back. 

“We need to get ready for dinner,” he says in a small voice. The disappointment is clear in his voice. It’s clear in Alex as well. He huffs out a breath in response. “That was the alarm I set so I could wake you up in time.” 

Alex’s eyes drag up and down Henry’s body. “It’s a shame I didn’t wake up earlier.” 

Henry breathes out something between a cough and a laugh. Alex sits up and leans over Henry, kissing him with only a fraction of the heat from before. “I guess if the dinner is in my honor, we should be there,” he says, purposefully showing Henry how annoyed he is by the timing. 

“Probably,” he replies. 

Alex gives him another soft kiss before he gets out of the bed. It’s hard to think of anything but Henry and his body, but he has to if he wants to look decent at this dinner. 

They find the rest of Henry’s family in a big dining room, the kids running around, chasing each other. Bea is talking to Catherine while Philip speaks with Martha. All eyes turn to him and Henry as they walk in the room. Henry lays a comforting hand at his back. The intimidation of this moment is front and center in his mind, driving away any memories of what happened back in Henry’s room. 

He looks around and thinks this group wouldn’t be intimidating if they didn’t know so much about Alex that he doesn’t know. It’s one thing with Henry, but all of the people in this room know more about Alex’s life than Alex does right now and it terrifies him. He wants to get to know them, wants the family he lost back — even if Henry assures him that he was the one who won the in-law lottery. Alex still wants to know them. Maybe he should have tried one on one first. He wasn’t this intimidated around Catherine this morning. 

“Alex!” Bea greets first. She grabs a glass off the table and presses it into his hand. “It’s a beer,” she says. “Figured you’d need it.” 

He feels relieved at the gesture. Tipping the glass to her in toast, he takes a drink of it. Martha — who he only knows from tabloids June shoved in his face — walks over toward him and Bea. She smiles kindly at him, keeping more distance than Bea does. “Alex, I’m Martha,” she says, sticking out a hand. 

Alex shakes her hand, grateful for the introduction. Everyone else has just assumed he knows them. “Nice to...re-meet you, I guess,” he says, shaking his head awkwardly. 

“It must be hard to have forgotten so much,” she says kindly. 

“Hard is quite the understatement,” Alex tells her. He takes another sip of his drink and watches as Henry speaks with his mother. The kids are still playing some game, yet to notice the new adults in the room. Bea steps away and it’s just Alex and Martha. 

“I’m sorry if this dinner was just sprung on you by Phililp,” she says. She’s watching her children play as well. 

“No, I’m glad to be here. I want to get to know my family,” he admits. “It’s just such an odd situation. You know? It’s weird that you all remember these big events in my life with Henry but I don’t.” 

She bursts out laughing, taking Alex by surprise. “So you don’t remember the cake?” 

“The cake?” Alex asks. He tries scanning through the rolodex in his mind of stories he’s been told about him and Henry, stories written about in their emails. 

“My wedding cake?” Alex shakes his head. “No one’s told you that story yet?” He shakes his head again, this time taking another drink of his beer. Martha turns and calls Henry’s name. He walks over, his arm easily sliding around Alex’s waist. “You haven’t told him the cake story?” 

Henry looks at Alex, his brow furrowed. “Oh, surely I have.”

Alex shrugs. “I don’t remember it if you did.” 

Bea has joined the group of them again, a broad grin on her face. “Henry, does this mean that you get the final say on what happened that night?” 

Alex doesn’t like the gleeful look on Henry’s face. It’s almost devious. Bea is laughing and Martha joins her. “Oh my god, what is the cake story?” 

Henry opens his mouth to tell him, but Bea cuts him off. “It was before you and Henry were together. At Pip and Martha’s wedding. You and Henry started bickering and there was a bit of a struggle —” 

“You pulled me,” Henry inserts. 

Bea gives him a disapproving look. “Neither of you could ever agree on how it  _ actually  _ happened. You said Henry pushed you toward the table and you grabbed his arm to stop yourself from falling. Henry says you yanked him to make him fall over. Anyway, you both toppled into their very large, very expensive, very much uneaten wedding cake. It fell and you both landed in it and landed in the shite of an international feud as people called it.” 

Alex stares at Henry, amused and shocked by this story. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Henry shakes his head with a grin. “We destroyed their wedding cake?” 

“You did,” Martha confirms. “It’s only become funny in the last few years.” 

Alex lets out a nervous laugh. “What were we fighting about?” he asks Henry in a low voice. 

Henry shrugs with a smile. “It was just our usual bickering. Think back to the first few days you were home. It was on brand with that.” Alex grimaces at the comparison. 

He laughs, picturing buttercream on suits, wondering if it’s the story that supplied the image or his brain. “So how many destroyed wedding cake jokes were made when we got married?” 

It’s Henry’s turn to laugh. “So many. Too many. We got truly annoyed by how many there were.” 

Alex grins. “God.” 

“It was sort of the beginning of it all, though,” Henry tells him, a fond look on his face. “Of our relationship.” Bea and Martha exchange a look and step away from them, allowing them some privacy. “After that, they forced us to make nice and stage a fake friendship and that —” 

“Turned into this?” Alex asks. 

“I mean, it took a bit, but yes,” Henry tells him, reaching down and lacing his fingers through Alex’s. “We talked a lot, slowly learning more about each other and then…” 

“And then New Year’s happened?” Alex asks. 

Henry grins, clearly remembering it. Alex wishes he could too. “Yes. And then New Year’s happened.” 

Alex thinks about learning who Henry is, how he must have done it the first time, how he is slowly doing so again. He hopes he did better by Henry the first time around. So much guilt still follows him for all the things he’s said to Henry since he woke up. It’s a miracle the man still wants anything to do with him. He wants to talk to Henry about it all, go through the beginning of their relationship in depth like they did last night with their emails. But he can’t, not right now. Pushing up on his toes a bit, he presses a kiss to Henry’s cheek and walks over toward his mother, leaving Henry with a soft look on his face. 

The children finally notice Alex and Henry’s presence in the room and both of them beeline for Alex, grabbing onto his legs. Alex bends down and pats their backs, glad that Philip shared so much information about his children with him this morning. Alex knows their names and some of their favorite things. He sits down on the floor and Elizabeth climbs on one leg, Andrew taking the other. Both their arms are wrapped around his neck as they talk over each other, trying to get Alex’s attention for themselves. He laughs, trying to pay attention to both of them at the same time. Going back and forth, he seems to be able to hear them both. 

At one point, Elizabeth leans in and presses a kiss to his cheek, one Alex returns. He looks just over her head to see Henry smiling down at him. There’s an emotion on his face, one Alex can’t name, but he feels nonetheless. Looking around, the others are just as pleased to see Alex bonding with the kids once again. He wonders how often this happened. Henry said that he insisted they be a part of the kids’ lives. Does that mean that they popped across the ocean to be here for big events? Do they skype the kids from New York to keep in touch with them? He’s just made of questions at this point. 

For all the little comments Henry has made about his family, Alex thinks the dinner is quite pleasant. His mother is so kind to him, just as she was this morning. Bea makes him laugh, relates to him in a way that reminds him of June and Nora. It makes sense if she’s part of that group as well. Martha and Philip are a surprise to him. After everything Henry’s told him, all the confessions from his emails, Alex is taken aback by the people in front of him. They’re loving to their children — as they should be — but also seemingly grateful for their family. Philip engages with Henry in talks of the shelters, apparently wanting to know the answers to his questions. Henry replies, but there’s still a tenseness about him that Alex knows isn’t always there. When he delicately lays his hand against Henry’s back, it seems to do the trick of seeping some of that tension from him. 

Philip excuses them not long after dinner is wrapped up, talking about needing to get the children to bed. Catherine walks out with them. Bea sits at the table with Henry and Alex, the two of them giving him more details on the beginning of their relationship once he asks. 

Alex listens to it, reaching out and fiddling with Henry’s hands, stopping when he clasps their hands together. Henry runs his thumb over Alex’s hand as he talks in a low voice, telling him about a night he called him around Christmas. He can feel Bea’s eyes on them, but he can’t pull his own from Henry’s. 

Henry has just wrapped up his story when Bea clears her throat and stands up from the table. “I have an early morning, so I’ll see you both later.” She presses a kiss to both their cheeks. “Good night, boys.” 

They both bid her goodnight, sitting there, their hands still intertwined. Henry drags his eyes up to meet Alex’s. He can feel something intense between them. Henry’s eyes drift back to his mouth, telegraphing his next move. Alex leans in and eagerly meets him in the middle. Henry’s hands cup the sides of his face as he kisses him deeply. Alex scoots closer to him, his hands falling to brace himself on Henry’s legs. There’s a sharp intake of breath as Alex pushes his hands up. 

“Alex,” Henry sighs as he pulls back. 

His forehead is pressed against Henry’s. He can hear noises from the kitchen just beyond the dining room. “We should probably let them clean up,” Alex says, giving a flimsy excuse for a reason to go somewhere more private. 

Henry grins, reading between the lines. “Yes, probably.” He stands up, reaching his hand out to Alex, which he takes readily. Henry pulls him from the room, both of them trying not to run back up to Henry’s room. Flashes of what happened before dinner pop in his mind, making him even more eager to be behind closed doors. Hopefully this time he can get Henry fully naked without interruption. 

Alex lets go of his hand and rushes into his room when they’re in sight. Henry closes the door behind him and leans against it, watching Alex. He’s just a few steps away, but he can’t help but stare at him for a moment. When the moment’s over, Alex throws himself against Henry, pressing him into the door, and kissing him roughly. 

Henry kisses him back in just the same manner, his hands flying over Alex’s body before settling on his ass. He pulls Alex into him, grinding against him. Alex’s breath staggers at the feeling. His tongue is in Henry’s mouth and his hand is at his neck, feeling the pulse beat rapidly against his fingers. He slides his hands down, reaching for the buttons on Henry’s shirt. Yet again, he pays more attention to the slow, languid kiss they’ve transitioned into. He pays more attention to the slide of Henry’s mouth against his, to the places where they’re pressed together. He gets two buttons undone before Henry breaks apart from him, swearing under his breath. 

“We should stop,” he says, panting. 

“Why?” Alex has no time for chivalry tonight. They’re married anyway. 

“There’s no rush,” Henry tells him. When he looks at Henry, he sees the nerves clear on his face. 

Alex feels one corner of his mouth tug up in half a smile before he presses his mouth to Henry’s neck, feeling a groan of frustration vibrate against his lips. “You know,” Alex starts, pressing kisses between words. “I’ve wanted you for a while now.” Another kiss to his neck. A bite soothed with the press of his tongue. A hiss from Henry. Alex moves to the other side. “But I told myself to ignore it.” A kiss over his pulse point. He can feel Henry’s chest heaving beneath his hands. He licks a stripe up Henry’s Adam's apple. “I told myself I couldn’t do anything unless I knew what I felt was more than just lust.” He undoes another button, pressing a kiss to the skin exposed. “Because you deserve for me to know what’s going on in my head.” Another undone button and another kiss. He pulls back and looks up at Henry’s face, noting his pupils blown wide, the look of near desperation on his face. “I know what this is for me, Henry, and I want you. I want my husband.” 

That’s all it takes for Henry to surge forward and kiss him hard, wrapping his hands back around him and holding him tight to him. He picks Alex up and Alex wraps his legs around Henry’s waist, kissing him with a bruising passion. Henry walks them over, putting Alex down on the bed. He breaks apart from him and Alex barely has time to look at him before Henry’s dropping to his knees. His hands fly to Alex’s belt buckle, the button and zipper of his pants. He pushes against his waistband, trying to help Henry out. More than anything, he’s desperate for the feel of Henry’s hands on him. 

His clothes are torn off him, thrown behind Henry haphazardly. He stands up and kisses Alex again before tearing the shirt off him as well. Almost possessively, Henry runs his hands down Alex’s chest, a gleam in his eyes that Alex doesn’t have a memory of seeing before. He sinks to his knees again and slides his hands up Alex’s thighs, his mouth leaving small kisses in their wake. He hasn’t even touched his cock yet and Alex is already quivering. 

Henry’s eyes flick up to him once and Alex nods before he licks a stripe and swirls his tongue around the head. He spits in his hand, reaching back out to pump him a few times before gloriously taking him in his mouth. Alex cries out loudly. His hand reaches down, grabbing Henry’s hair tightly. He can feel Henry groan around him and it sends him reeling. Looking down at Henry, he can see him hollowing out his cheeks, taking him deeper. His tongue is doing magical things as Alex’s head collapses back against the bed. He can feel Henry swallowing him down and he’s losing control. His fingers tighten in Henry’s hair as he does all he can not to move his head. He’s yelling so many words in both English and Spanish at the ceiling. 

He looks down again to see Henry’s head bobbing and it’s the most unreal thing he thinks he’s ever seen. Alex is dangerously close to the edge. He pats Henry’s head, trying to say what he can’t quite get out. Henry keeps swallowing him down. 

“Henry,” he pants. “Henry, I’m gonna…” 

Henry hollows out his cheeks again and Alex comes down his throat. It’s the most powerful orgasm he thinks he can ever remember. Of course, that’s it isn’t it:  _ remember.  _

He lays there in a haze, unable to move, feeling almost weightless. It registers somewhere in his hazy brain when Henry lays down next to him, pressing a kiss to his neck. Alex can’t say anything for a while. He simply kisses Henry back when he leans over him, ignoring the taste of himself on Henry’s tongue. Henry flops down on the bed beside him and Alex hates that he’s still clothed. He absolutely should have taken care of at least that before Henry took care of him. And boy, did he  _ take care  _ of him. 

Alex breathes out a laugh. “Fuck,” he says and Henry laughs as well. Alex claps a hand to his head. “How the hell did I forget  _ that _ ?” he asks without thinking. 

Looking over, he sees something flash across Henry’s face before he turns and looks up at the ceiling. Alex closes his eyes, hearing what he just said from Henry’s perspective. He sits up, pulling his knees in closer, leaning against them. “Fuck, that was an awful thing to say, wasn’t it?” 

“Alex,” Henry starts, but Alex doesn’t let him finish. 

“Why do I do this? Why do I always say the wrong thing?” He turns his head where it’s propped against his knees. “How the hell did I forget any of this?” he says, changing his phrasing. “I want all of it back. Not just  _ this _ ” he gestures toward the bed “but all of it. I want what we had. I want it back.” 

Henry sits up, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, leaning his head there. “It always started with this,” Henry tells him. Alex looks back at him, looking for reassurance. Henry flashes him a small smile. He scoots closer to Alex, curling around him from the side. His chin rests on Alex’s shoulder. “You didn’t say the wrong thing,” he whispers. Alex leans his head against Henry’s. “I promise.” 

“I don’t want to fuck this up again,” Alex whispers back. 

“You won’t.” 

Alex looks at him, searching for the answers Henry might have. He turns around and curls around Henry, wrapping him up in his arms. Henry kisses the top of his head as he holds him. “It’s weird that you’re still wearing clothes,” Alex announces after a few minutes. 

Henry laughs and breaks apart from Alex. He gets out of the bed and starts to unbutton his shirt. Alex props his head up on his hand, watching Henry. “You gonna give me a show?” he teases. 

An amused glint flashes in Henry’s eyes and he slows down his unbuttoning, holding Alex’s gaze as he slowly takes off his shirt. Tossing it to the floor behind him, Alex watches as he moves to his belt. His eyes scour Henry’s body, wanting to run his hands and maybe his mouth down every part of it. Henry undoes his belt buckle and steps toward the bed, handing Alex one end. He grabs it and watches as Henry walks backward, letting his belt fall from his pants. Henry continues to make a show of stripping off his pants and his boxers. He stands there for a moment once he’s completely unclothed, letting Alex watch him. 

“God, come here,” Alex commands. Henry doesn’t need to be told twice. He lunges at the bed, meeting Alex eagerly. Their kiss holds a near desperation. Alex lets his hands wander, feeling all the different planes of his body. An embarrassing moan echoes from him as he finds the place below his ribs and slides his hand there. 

He kisses a path down Henry’s neck, across his chest. Henry’s hand finds his hair and tugs. He’s panting out things Alex is only half listening to. But one thing breaks through, pulling Alex from the task at hand, making a knot form in his stomach. 

“God, I love you,” Henry cries. 

Alex pulls back, looking up at him. He swallows thickly, staring down at Henry. He’s staring back at him unapologetically. And why should he be apologetic? They’re married for crying out loud. Alex has known that Henry loves him the whole time. He’s even said it since Alex has been in London. But right now, confronted with his fears of messing things up again and the fact that for some unknowable reason, Alex can’t say it back, he loses steam. 

“I —” he tries, cutting himself off. Henry looks down and Alex is sure he’s messing things up again. “Henry, I…” he tries again, still trailing off. Henry’s eyes flash to his and he leans forward, kissing Alex into silence. He’s grateful for the gesture, hoping it means Henry understands. 

When Henry breaks away, he pulls the sheet over them and rolls Alex onto his side, curling in behind him. Alex feels safe and secure with Henry’s arms around him. 

“Thank you,” Henry says, breaking the silence between them. 

Alex turns around in his arms, wanting to see his face. “For what?” he asks. 

Henry brushes a curl off his forehead with a smile on his face. “For coming here,” he says. “For coming to find me.” 

He doesn’t know what to say in reply, so he kisses Henry softly, letting his actions speak for him. Curling in against Henry, he tucks himself into the same position that he woke up in this morning. Henry’s arms tighten around him, their legs tangling together. 

There’s so much that Alex still doesn’t know, so much he’s afraid of. But for the first time since his accident, he feels like he’s on level footing with Henry, like they’re headed somewhere promising. It’s that comforting thought that sends him off to sleep, to the best night’s sleep he’s had in months.


	15. I'm All Yours

There’s almost something familiar about waking up to the feeling of kisses being peppered against his jaw. Alex doesn’t have any distinct memories of it, but it feels right. He opens his eyes, a grin on his face as he looks at Henry. A matching expression is on Henry’s face. Alex doesn’t even think before he’s pulling Henry toward him. They meet in an almost lazy kiss. His hands run along Henry’s back, down to that fine ass. Henry groans into him, his hands tightening against Alex. 

It all feels too good, like maybe it’s a damn dream. He’s almost afraid that he’s going to wake up and be in their bed alone, clutching Henry’s pillow to him like a lifeline — the same as he’d done the whole time after Henry left. Alex pulls back and looks at him. Henry gives him an odd look. He just smiles and leans back in, kissing him deeply and letting his hands wander. 

He rolls Henry over onto his back and follows him, moving on top of him with a smug grin. Henry looks more than pleased as he stares up at Alex. He watches him from this new vantage point, seeing him splayed out, lips kiss swollen and cheeks pink. Alex rolls his hips once and takes in the music of Henry’s moan before he leans down and kisses him again. Henry’s hands slide down his spine and Alex shivers. 

Alex pulls back and spits in his hand before he reaches down between them and wraps his hand around Henry’s cock. Henry’s breath staggers as he stares up at him. Alex grins, rubbing his hand greedily as he leans back down and kisses Henry deeply. He swallows Henry’s groans. His hand keeps moving, working Henry into a state. He moves his mouth to his jaw and then his throat, alternating kisses, licks, and bites as he can feel Henry losing control. Henry pulls roughly at his hair, moaning his name repeatedly. He reaches down for Alex but he smacks his hand away. This is all about Henry’s pleasure right now. 

Henry yanks his head back and meets him in a fury of a kiss. Alex grins into it. He may not remember their past, but he feels like this is working. In a way he’s easing himself into it — to taking care of Henry as well. The last thing he wants to do after last night is give Henry a lackluster blowjob. He can’t really remember ever giving one, though it  _ certainly seems  _ like it’s happened. Maybe instinct will just kick in and his body will tell him what to do even if his brain can’t supply it. 

Either way, he’s listening to Henry’s breathing, feeling the way his body is reacting and he feels like he’s doing a good enough job, even just with his hand. Henry breaks away from their kiss and throws his head back against the pillow. “Don’t stop. I’m close,” he pants. Alex picks up the pace of his hand and leans forward, baring his teeth against Henry’s neck. Henry groans loudly, gripping onto his arms and comes into Alex’s hand. 

Alex lays back down on the bed, close enough that his arm is brushing Henry’s. He turns his head and watches Henry breathe heavily, a blissed out look on his face. Admittedly, he feels a bit smug. Henry looks over at him and Alex leans in, kissing him softly. 

In a stunning turn of events, one of them suggests cleaning up a bit, the other suggests a shower, and the next thing Alex knows, he’s chasing Henry toward the bathroom, kissing him desperately while the water heats up. Once they’re in the shower, Henry pushes him against the shower wall and drops to his knees. Alex nearly blacks out as the water washes over them and Henry’s tongue works against him. 

At one point, Henry breaks away, pumping him with his hand. He looks up and those big blue eyes are staring at him. Alex runs a lazy hand through Henry’s wet hair. “This was all I could fucking think about yesterday after you flashed me your arse,” Henry admits. Alex laughs, throwing his head back. Henry puts his mouth back on him and Alex’s laugh turns into a drawn out moan. 

Henry finishes him off and the two of them make out for a while. “This is probably bad for the environment,” Alex jokes against Henry’s lips. Henry laughs, reaching for the soap and washing Alex’s body. Alex delights at the chance to return the favor. 

Neither of them feels the need to get dressed after the shower. They return to the huge, ornate bed and make out lazily for what feels like hours or days. Alex doesn’t care to count. He’s too happy, too wrapped up in Henry. 

Finally, Henry pulls back and lays his head down on his own pillow. Alex can’t help but let his eyes follow him. “I have an idea for what we should do today,” Henry says almost hesitantly. 

Alex reaches out and runs a hand along his arm. “So far I’ve liked all your other ideas.” Henry grins, his cheeks flushing slightly. “What are you thinking?” 

“We should go back to New York.” 

Alex’s eyes widen. “Today?” Henry nods. “Are you sure?” 

“Of course I am.” He moves in closer, wrapping his arm around Alex and pulling them together. “I want to go back to our life there.” 

“What about your family?” 

Henry presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead. “You’re my family.” 

Alex lets the feeling behind that statement fill him up a bit. Eventually, he shakes his head, ready to make his point. “But you’re so far away from them in New York. And they were, like, really great to you while you were here, right? I just don’t want to take you away from your family.” 

“Alex,” Henry says in a patient tone. “You’re not taking me away from my family. It’s 2025. I can still talk with them quite easily. And yes, they took care of me while I was here, but they all knew I’d rather be in New York. That I’d rather be with you.” 

“It doesn’t have to be one or the other,” Alex insists. 

“Oh, so you’re going to move to London then?” Henry asks, one eyebrow cocked. Alex’s silence makes a smirk grow on his face. He runs a hand through Alex’s hair. “Love, I was the one who  _ chose  _ to move to New York. I chose it a long time ago and have gotten quite used to being far away from my family. I’ll be fine. I’ll have you.” 

“I just don’t want to make you give up anything,” Alex admits in a small voice. “I feel like I’ve already taken so much from you.” 

Henry sits up, looking down at Alex with a serious look on his face. “How on earth do you think  _ I’m  _ the one who’s had things taken from me? Alex, you quite literally lost your memories.” 

“Yeah, and in doing so, you lost your husband!” 

Henry stares at him for a moment. “I thought the whole point of you coming here was to rectify that.” 

Alex rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, it was, but —” 

“But what? You don’t think you’re a good enough trade off for what I have here in London?” 

He avoids Henry’s gaze. No matter how many times Henry’s promised him that he doesn’t need his memories, Alex still feels lost without them, like he’s less than he should be. “I don’t know. I mean without my memories —” 

Henry cuts him off swiftly, kissing him. “Alex, I promise you. I  _ promise you  _ that you’re enough, just as you are. You don’t need your bloody memories. I’d be happy to spend the rest of my days answering any damn question you might have about the last six years.” 

Alex hates that he has tears in his eyes. “Like I said the other night, I might need reminding.” 

He leans forward and presses his forehead to Alex’s. “I will be here to remind you every day if you need it.” 

“I just can’t stop thinking about how awful I was,” Alex says in a sheepish tone. 

Henry pulls back and looks back at him. “I wasn’t myself either. And I don’t have the same excuse for my behavior as you do.” 

Alex glares at him. “It was not the same and you know it. Henry, I was awful. A total asshole.” 

“Give yourself a damn break,” Henry tells him. 

“I was so awful that you  _ left _ !” 

“I never should have left,” Henry starts but Alex cuts him off. 

“You had every fucking right to. That’s how terrible I was. I didn’t even blame you, Henry.” 

Henry’s silent for a moment and an awful side of Alex’s brain thinks that maybe he’s deciding to stay in London after all, just without Alex. He shakes his head slightly. “Look, let me tell you this, and I hope you truly let this sink in.” Alex watches him intently. “I’ve known you at a lot of different points in your life.” He leans forward, stroking a hand through Alex’s hair. “And the Alex that flew here to tell me that he found the emails, the Alex that has been  _ here  _ the last two days, that’s the closest I’ve seen to the man I married since the accident.” 

“You really think I’m getting back to the person I was?” Alex asks nervously. 

“I don’t think you ever actually lost that person. I think you were just fucking angry. And you have every right to be. I can’t imagine what I would do if I went through a trauma like what you’ve been going through.” 

Alex scoffs. “You wouldn’t turn into a prick.” 

“I turned into quite the prick when I lost my dad,” Henry reminds him. “You’ll recall because I was a prick to you when we met. That was why you hated me.” He stares at Henry, thinking through his point. “There’s no right way to deal with something like this.” 

“June and Nora certainly seemed to think there was,” Alex retorts. 

Henry ignores him. “You’re here. We’ve talked more in the last 36 hours than we did most of the time we were both in New York — at least about things that matter. We’ve promised each other that we’re going to be more open about how we’re feeling.” Henry sighs. “Alex, we’re ready. Let’s just go home.” 

Alex watches him for a long moment, seeing the sincerity on his face. “You’re sure?” 

Henry rolls his eyes. “No, you were actually right that our bed at home is more comfortable than this one. I just wanted to go home to save my back.” Alex glares at him. “You bloody idiot, yes, I’m sure.” Alex sighs and Henry leans over him, looking directly in his eyes. “If there’s more of our life together to regain, we’re not going to do it here. New York is our home.” He puts his hands on either side of Alex’s face. “Let’s go home.” 

Alex helps Henry pack up his belongings. With the rush job, he’ll certainly need to iron most of it when they get back, but he thinks he’s probably taught Henry how to do that. They make the rounds of Henry’s family to say goodbye before they leave. Neither of them think it’s appropriate to just disappear. Catherine gives them both big hugs and makes them both promise to call more often. It’s an easy promise to keep. Philip is still shocking and asks them to come back soon because they all miss them when they’re in New York. Henry’s visibly surprised by the statement and vaguely agrees. Bea pulls them both in for a group hug, telling them how glad she is that they’re getting the fuck out of the palace. Alex laughs. She tells them that now that Alex has officially “re-met” her, she’s not taking Henry’s stupid advice and she’ll be coming to New York soon. Alex is more than happy to encourage her. Henry is as well. 

And soon enough, Henry’s arranged a private flight for them and they’re off across the ocean. Alex leans his head on Henry’s shoulder and annoys Henry as he does a crossword. 

“Did you know they use Ulee’s Gold for the vowels?” Alex asks, resulting in a look from Henry. 

“Yes. You tell me this nearly every time I do a crossword puzzle,” Henry reminds him. 

“Oh. Well.” He chuckles to himself. “Sorry for sharing a fun fact with you.” 

Henry rolls his eyes and turns back to his crossword. “Thank you for your fun fact,” he says.

Alex reads over his shoulder. “Six letter word for red? Maroon.” He turns and glares at Alex. “Look, I know you’re literally a writer, but I just want to be helpful.” He holds his hands up in defense. 

“Are you bored? Did you not bring proper flight entertainment? What did you do on the flight over? Bug Cash the whole time?” 

“Well Cash would be fine with me helping him with his crossword —” 

“No, I wouldn’t!” Cash yells from a couple of rows behind them. 

Alex moves to look over the seat. “Shut up, Cash! No one asked you!” 

Henry’s laughing to himself, ducking his head into the aisle to send a thumbs up to Cash. 

“Anyway, and as to what I did on the flight over? I read our emails basically the whole time.” 

“God, no wonder you had them near memorized.” 

Alex shrugs. He grabs Henry’s hand and laces their fingers together. “If I do a deep search through the house, am I going to find some secret box of love letters between us?” 

Henry chuckles. “No, that was about it. After having our emails leaked to the world, it lost some of the magic. And then we lived together, so we didn’t have to lust after each other via email.” 

Alex leans his head against Henry’s shoulder. “Hmm. Too bad.” 

They walk up the stairs, Alex following Henry into the house, just like he did when they came home from the hospital. This time — thankfully — feels so much different. Henry drops his bag on the floor and squats to set David down on the ground. He runs off toward his downstairs doggy bed that Henry left behind. Alex tosses his bag to the floor, waiting just inside the foyer with Henry. 

There’s a look on Henry’s face as he glances around the place. Alex wonders if he really thought he’d never be back here. He gives Henry a moment. 

Looking back at him, Henry gives him a small smile. 

“So what do we normally do when we arrive home from some trip?” Alex asks. A funny look crosses Henry’s face, an almost sheepish smile, as the tips of his ears turn a bit pink. Alex can’t help but laugh at the look of him. “What? Have sex?” 

Henry bursts out laughing, looking anywhere but at Alex. “I mean…” he says, drawing it out a bit. 

To say that the idea of fooling around on the plane hadn’t crossed Alex’s mind would be a lie. But now...now they’re alone in their home and finally on the same page. Alex crosses the space between them and kisses Henry. He pulls back quickly, with a pop, smirking at Henry. “Would be a shame to break tradition.” 

Henry breathes out a laugh before he pulls Alex back to him by the hand at his neck. Alex pushes his coat off of him and Henry follows suit with Alex’s coat. They’re thrown in the general area of the coat rack, but neither of them really care. Alex pushes Henry against the back of the couch, not even intentionally, he’s just caught up in the moment. He presses a kiss to the corner of Henry’s mouth, to his jaw, back to his ear. 

“You know, I realized something,” Alex pants in his ear. 

“Hmm?” Henry asks, bringing his mouth back to his. 

Alex kisses him back before breaking away again, pressing kisses to Henry’s neck. “I realized that you didn’t forget anything like I did.” 

“You just realized that?” 

Alex pulls back and glares at him. Unabashedly, Henry whines and grabs him, kissing him again. When he needs to come up for breath, Alex rests his forehead against Henry’s. “I realized that you still know all the specific ways to drive me  _ wild.  _ But I have to learn that all again for you.” Henry raises an eyebrow in response. Alex steps back, making Henry huff out a breath. He reaches out, getting his hands on Henry’s shirt, ripping it open. A couple of buttons fly off, bouncing against the hardwood floor. Alex falls to his knees in front of Henry, reaching for his belt. “I was thinking I could start learning tonight.” 

Alex sees Henry’s jaw drop open and he grins to himself, pressing a kiss to his torso as he undoes his pants and shoves them down his legs. Henry braces himself against the couch, his head falling back as he sighs at the feeling of Alex’s hand around him. Alex relishes the noises he makes as he puts his mouth on him. 

He can hear these breathy sighs, whispers of things Alex can only half hear. His fingers tangle in Alex’s hair, his other hand stroking his face. “Oh, yes,” he cries, loud enough for Alex to hear. Alex tightens his hold on his hips and keeps going. “Ah, that’s good,” Henry sighs and Alex isn’t prepared for it. He takes more of him in, his hand covering what can’t fit. Henry’s hand is tight in his hair, and Alex can feel his restraint in the tension at his hips. Flicking his eyes up, he sees Henry staring down at him intently, his pupils blown wide. Suddenly, Henry’s eyes wrench shut. “Oh, Alex, fuck me!” he yells. 

Alex freezes and Henry looks down at him, a self-conscious look on his face. Alex replaces his mouth with his hand and stares up at Henry. “Was that a suggestion or an exclamation?” 

Henry bites his lip. “Whichever you want it to be…” 

Alex stands up, watching Henry for a moment before he leans in and presses his lips to Henry’s. Henry pushes off the couch and walks them back toward the stairs, pulling Alex’s shirt off and throwing it to the floor where his own clothes lay. Alex crashes back into him once his shirt is off, holding Henry to him by the hand at his neck. His hands are roaming Henry’s body while Henry fumbles with the button of his pants. “Get these off,” he whines. 

He breaks apart and laughs a bit at Henry, taking a moment to toe off his shoes and shove his pants down. They’re nowhere near their bedroom and the level of desperation between them is only rising. Henry crushes their bodies back together, kissing Alex deeply. They both groan as they press together. For whatever insane reason, Alex keeps kissing Henry as he walks up the stairs backwards. Henry doesn't question it, just follows him. It’s the clumsiest trip up the stairs anyone’s ever had. Halfway to the top, Alex stumbles, falling back onto the stairs, Henry landing on top of him. 

They both laugh hysterically, neither of them moving. Alex brings Henry’s head down for another kiss and none of their passion is lost in the stumble. Henry moves his hips against Alex’s. He groans and surges his own hips in reply. They’re both naked, both hard, both losing control quickly. Alex thinks the stairs probably aren’t the best or most comfortable place for what is inevitably about to happen. But Henry is on top of him and so intent to kiss him within an inch of his life that Alex almost just lets it happen. 

Sense finally finds him — though he’s not sure how — and he taps at Henry’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta move or else I’m gonna end up fucking you on these stairs and that’s not going to be good for either of us.” 

Henry moves his mouth to Alex’s neck, seemingly ignoring him. Alex can feel himself growing harder beneath Henry. He wasn’t quite sure that was possible. “Henry,” he whines. 

Henry pulls back with a smirk and a roll of his eyes. “Sorry for enjoying myself,” he teases. He stands up and sticks out a hand for Alex. 

Alex grabs his hand and lets Henry pull him up. “I never said you can’t enjoy yourself. I was too, I just had stairs digging into my back and my ass.” 

Henry turns him around and grabs said ass as they walk up the stairs. “Well, we can’t have that,” Henry jokes. 

When they’re finally at the top of the stairs, Alex turns back around and drags Henry back against him. He walks them backward, knowing he should be more careful about where they’re going, but not caring about anything but getting Henry’s body under him. He feels something — likely the bed — against his legs and breaks away from Henry to look. With a salacious grin, he turns and pushes Henry down on the bed, crawling back on top of him. 

“Top drawer,” Henry says, pointing to the table at his side of the bed. Alex leans over and pulls it open. He looks back at Henry and the look of pure desire on his face and grabs the lube and one of the condoms. 

Alex leans back over him, kissing him deeply, rolling his hips and feeling the delightful friction between them. Henry groans against him and pushes him back. Alex eyes him for a moment as Henry grabs his hand and brings it up to his mouth. He takes two fingers into his mouth and Alex feels his hips jerk in response. Taking them out, Henry says in a stupidly hot, breathy voice, “Get to work.” 

He’s so fucking attracted to this bossy side of Henry that he has no reply. Surging forward, he kisses Henry again as his fingers find their destination. Henry’s breath catches as Alex tests pushing in one finger. He keeps kissing Henry as he preps him, breaking apart to check on him. Henry just nods every time and tells him to keep going. 

Finally, he pants out, “I’m ready.” 

Alex pulls back and looks at him. “Are you sure?” 

Henry reaches up, cupping Alex’s face in both hands. “I’m sure. I’m ready.” 

He stares down at him, this beautiful man laying bare beneath him, everything Alex needs displayed on his face. He sees how much he loves Alex, how much he  _ wants  _ him. And in that moment he knows. “I’m ready too,” Alex says in a small voice, kissing him quickly before pulling back. He can just never get enough of kissing Henry. It’s been his revelation of the last two days. 

Henry reaches down and rolls the condom on him and Alex’s eyes almost roll back a bit. He lubes up and looks at Henry once more. Henry nods. Alex takes a deep breath and pushes in slowly. 

He pauses, just as much for Henry’s sake as for his. There’s nothing else he can compare this feeling to, he’s sure of it. The feeling of sharing Henry’s body is heady and overwhelming. He looks down at Henry and the two of them lock eyes. Henry nods again and Alex starts to move. He goes slowly at first, easing into it. But he hits a point where he picks up his pace and Henry’s crying out and Alex is losing control. Henry reaches up and caresses Alex’s face. Alex leans into it, his hips surging forward. 

Alex moves his hand down and wraps it around Henry’s cock. Feeling how close he is, he needs Henry to be there as well. He pumps his hand and his hips in tandem and looks down to see Henry’s eyes rolling back a bit, a hazy smile on his face. His face contorts and Alex can feel it — Henry’s there with him. He comes and Alex is right behind him, collapsing against Henry in a sweaty, sticky, lovely mess.

Both of them are spent, breathing hard, and satisfied. Alex picks his head up — a herculean effort — and looks at Henry. He’s wearing the same dopey smile on his face. They kiss slowly, softly before Alex decides he can’t hold himself up anymore. Sliding apart, Alex disposes of the condom before tucking himself back into Henry’s side. 

They’re laying there in an easy silence, but Alex still feels like he has to say something. “The things this room must have seen,” he jokes. 

Henry laughs. He turns and looks at Alex from the pillow next to him. “You have no idea,” he says breathlessly. He reaches a hand out and rubs his knuckles up Alex’s arm. “The things this room  _ will _ see.” 

A spark shoots up Alex’s spine, heat pooling in his stomach. “Is that all part of my re-learning course?” he asks, raising a brow to Henry. 

He breathes out a laugh, presses a kiss against Alex’s head, and says, “I think you’re doing just fine.” 

Alex props himself up on his elbow, looking down at Henry. “You know I have always been a bit of an overachiever. Fine isn’t good enough for me.” 

There’s a look on Henry’s face, desire and anticipation. “Well, I’d never try to make you be anything other than who you are.” 

He flops down on the bed again and says, “Smart man.” 

Henry rolls his eyes and leans in to kiss Alex. They make out for a while, wrapped up in their own bed, in their own home, in the city where they started their lives over. Now, they’re getting the chance to do it all again. 


	16. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that delay in an update. My life has been so busy lately! Hope you enjoy this one!

Alex isn’t even sure what time it is when he finally opens his eyes the next morning. Well, he’s not even sure what time it was when he finally fell asleep the night before. Looking over at Henry, he sees that he’s still asleep, his body curled around Alex. 

He grins as he lays his head back down on the pillow and curls closer against Henry. Last night had been incredible. Alex feels exhausted in the best way. He’s also a bit glad that he doesn’t have a job and Henry hasn’t really been working either. It gives them much more time to recreate  _ that.  _ He gets the idea in his head of re-christening the house and is running with it when he feels Henry start to move. 

Alex looks over his shoulder and catches Henry’s eyes as he presses a kiss to his shoulder. “Morning,” he greets with a rough voice. 

He turns over and leans his forehead against Henry’s. “Good morning,” Alex replies. 

Henry stretches a little, turning to look at the clock. “My god, we’re bums.” 

Alex laughs. “We’re allowed sleep, right? We just got to bed sort of late.” 

With a smug grin, Henry looks over at him. “Mmm, yes we did,” he agrees, rolling over until he’s on top of Alex. “But I can’t say I’m upset about that.” 

Alex’s fingers card through his hair as he kisses him. “Me either,” he says against his lips. “What grade do I have in my course so far?” he asks with a smirk. 

Henry pulls back and rolls his eyes, flopping down on the bed next to him. “You’re just fishing for compliments, aren’t you?” Alex laughs and Henry wraps his arms around his torso. 

His laughter dies out and he looks over at Henry, the two of them sharing a silent moment. Alex turns in his arms and moves until he’s right in front of him. “Can I ask you a question?” 

Henry nods. 

“It’s a very serious question.” 

He reaches up and runs a hand through Alex’s hair, looking him in the eye. “You can ask me anything, Alex.” 

“Could you, um, make me a cup of coffee?” 

Henry scoffs and then laughs. “You just brought me back to New York to be your personal barista, didn’t you?” 

“I can’t help it that since you left — aside from the last two days at Kensington — I haven’t had a decent cup of coffee. You know my dependency, Henry. You have to know how hard this has been for me.” 

Henry’s still laughing, shaking his head at Alex. “I suppose I can do that.” 

“Look, I was right before. It doesn’t taste right without the love.” 

He kisses Alex quickly before rolling out of bed, tragically putting on clothes. “All right, all right, you made your case!” 

Alex watches him as he throws on a t-shirt of Alex’s and a pair of his shorts. They didn’t do much unpacking the night before. Their interests had been elsewhere, less focused on clothes. It does something to Alex to see Henry in his clothes. He pushes past it and says, “So does that mean you think I’d still make a good lawyer?” 

Henry leans back down and presses a quick kiss to his lips. “Well, you have always been an argumentative bastard.” 

Alex laughs and Henry grins at him as he walks from the room. Jumping up to put on some clothes himself, Alex follows him down the stairs, stopping when he sees Henry’s bags on the floor. He picks them up and takes them back upstairs. It feels wrong for the closet to be empty. Well, half empty. After Henry left, Alex moved his clothes back in there. But either way, his clothes need to be back in their right place. Nearly everything else seems to have fallen back into place. His clothes should too. 

He leaves the bags on the bed and walks down the stairs. The front door swings open and a fuming Nora stalks in. 

“Hey, Nora!” Alex says, unsure about her mood. 

“Well there you are!” she yells. “Where the fuck have you been?” 

“Uhhh…” 

“You’re a goddamn idiot, do you know that?” 

Alex walks away from her, needing some distance from how fired up she is. He walks toward the kitchen, toward his coffee, toward Henry. 

“Where were you, Alex? You didn’t even leave a note! I just came here and you were gone! You said, ‘spend a night at home, Nora.’ And then you were just gone when I got here the next day! You didn’t even pick up your phone when June and I tried to call you!” 

“I couldn’t remember if I had the right plan,” Alex says, “so I left it off.” 

Alex walks into the kitchen, Nora stomping along behind him. “Where did you even go?” 

“Hi, Nora,” Henry says as he hands Alex his cup of coffee. 

“Hey, Henry,” she says, eyes still boring into Alex. “You didn’t even —” Suddenly she stops, turning to look at Henry. “Oh my god!” she yells, throwing her arms around Henry. He and Alex exchange a startled look. “You’re here. You’re back!” She turns to look at Alex. “Is this where you went? You went to England to get Henry?” 

“Yeah,” Alex says, taking a sip of his coffee. God, it tastes good. 

“You could have fucking said something, Alex,” Nora still yells. 

“Sorry!” he yells now. “I didn’t think of it, okay? I just had to go.” 

“Why? You spent so long saying you were going to better yourself and find more out about yourself and then all the sudden you were just gone. What bug crawled up your ass and made you go so suddenly?” 

“He found our emails,” Henry tells her. 

A shocked look crosses her face as she looks between the two of them. “Oh.” She turns to Henry. “I promise you we didn’t show them to him. We listened to your wishes.” 

Henry shakes his head. “No, I know. But I was stupid to keep them from him anyway. It wasn’t fair.” 

Nora turns back to Alex. “So you just found them and left?” 

He shrugs. “Basically. It just...I don’t know, gave me what I needed to get my ass on that plane.” 

She nods slowly and looks at Henry. “Henry, can I speak to you for a moment in private?” 

Alex and Henry exchange a look. “Anything you need to say you can just say in front of Alex.” 

Nora takes a deep breath and plasters a smile on her face. “All right, then. Are you going to be staying around or will you bolt again the next time Alex is a little bitch?” 

Henry frowns but Alex jumps in. “Nora, what the fuck? Come on. I told you it was my fault. You know what things were like. Don’t be a dick to him.” 

Nora holds up one hand to Alex, still looking at Henry. “I know. I know how it was. I know how it happened. And why it happened. But I still feel the need to ask. Because your marriage is not going to be saved by bolting when things get hard.” 

“He left because I basically told him to,” Alex defends. “He thought that I —” 

“Alex,” Henry says, gently cutting him off, placing a hand on his arm. Alex huffs out a breath and glares at Nora. “I’m not going anywhere,” Henry says. His eyes are on Nora. “I was wrong to leave in the first place and I know it. But to be frank, Nora, you don’t really know what was going on here, how beaten down I felt, how hopeless I felt about ever saving my marriage. So, yes, it was stupid of me to leave, but I didn’t feel I had much of a choice. He told me to get out so I did. I never thought he didn’t actually mean it. It wasn’t until he showed up at the palace that I ever let myself believe that he didn’t mean it.” 

Alex closes his eyes, feeling like shit again. 

“I’m glad you’re looking out for Alex and that you’re concerned about having stability. But I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t  _ want  _ to originally and I’m certainly not now,” Henry says, taking Alex’s hand and squeezing it. 

Nora nods, a look of approval on her face. “Good. I’m sorry to be harsh, but you didn’t see him when you left. He was a damn mess.” 

Henry looks over at him, a curious look on his face. Alex shoots him a small smile. He knows that Nora is right. He really was a mess. The first time he felt less like a mess was when he was on the plane, headed to Henry. “No hard feelings,” Henry promises. “I know it was all sudden.” 

“You know, you could have answered the phone as well,” Nora tells him, one eyebrow raised. 

Henry’s face scrunches slightly. “I figured you would just tell me to come back, that Alex didn’t mean it.” 

“He didn’t!” Nora reminds him. 

“Well yes, but I wouldn’t have believed that from you. You were the one who kept telling me that things would turn around and at the time, things had not gone that way.” 

Nora grins. “But look at things now. I’d say that’s  _ turning around _ , wouldn’t you?” 

Henry rolls his eyes and picks up his cup of tea, shooting a look at Nora over the rim. 

“Look, I’m sorry I left without saying anything,” Alex says. “I just had to get to him.” He looks over at Henry and feels an echo of that desperation. 

Nora is about to respond when the phone in her hand rings. “Hey! Yeah, I’m here. He’s back. Yeah, okay.” She holds the phone out and puts it on speaker. 

“Alex, you are such a dumbass, do you know that?” June yells through the phone. 

“I already got scolded from Nora. I don’t need it from you too.” 

“You’ll get it from more than me. I called Mom while I was trying to track you down.” 

Henry bursts out laughing and Alex stares at him. “Oh, I’m sorry. But I can only imagine what your mum will have to say.” 

“Wait, is that Henry?” June asks. 

“It is,” Henry confirms. 

“You’re there?” 

“Yes.” 

“Alex, did you go to England?” 

“Uh, yeah.” 

June groans. “Nora, how did we not think of that? Flying across the ocean — that’s Alex’s move!” 

“Is it really considered a move if it’s only happened one other time?” Henry asks.

“Yeah, but it was successful both times, so I think it counts as a move,” June argues. 

“I don’t know,” Henry muses. 

Alex cuts off this pointless conversation. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but I’m fine. Okay? Nora, you don’t need to stay here any longer. I’m fine. You guys can just go on home. We’re fine here.” 

Nora grins with a slow nod. “Oh, I get it. You’re horny.” 

Alex covers his face with his hands. “My god, Nora.” 

“Nora!” June scolds. “Please do not go on.” 

Nora cackles, particularly when Henry just sips his tea without saying anything. 

“Look, I know you’re shooing us away, but can we just get dinner tonight or something?” June asks. Alex groans. Company was not part of his plan for the day. “I know you want to be alone or whatever,” she says in a mocking tone, “but it would be nice. Can you manage to put clothes on for like two hours of your day?” 

“I’d like to stress that we’re wearing clothes right now. We’re not standing in front of Nora stark naked,” Henry informs her. 

“I’m glad,” June says with a laugh. “What do you say?” 

Henry shoots a glance at Alex. “Sure, come over for dinner.” 

Alex shrugs. “But be more friendly or we’re kicking you out.” He looks at Nora. “That goes for both of you.” 

Nora draws a small x across her heart and June agrees. 

“Okay, then I’ll see you later,” he says, nudging Nora back toward the front door as June hangs up. 

“So. Horny.” 

“Shut up, Nora.” 

She turns around at the front door and Alex jumps back. “Hey, let me offer you some advice.” Alex gives her a look of disapproval, but she ignores it. “Don’t fuck it up this time. Okay? He loves you and you love him. Even if you haven’t admitted it to yourself yet, you do. So, you know, maybe think before you speak this time around. Treat him the way you know he deserves.” 

Alex shoots a look over his shoulder to the kitchen where Henry still is. “I know. Believe me, I’m way ahead of you.” 

Nora nods and claps Alex on the shoulder. “Good. You two work too well to let it all fall apart.” With a sigh, she opens the door. “I’ll see you later. Maybe if you go somewhere again, let us know.” 

“Will do, asshole.” 

Alex walks back into the kitchen and sits down in the chair right next to Henry’s. He takes a sip of his coffee and waits for whatever Henry’s going to say. He knows it’s coming. 

“You didn’t tell anyone where you were going?” Henry finally says. 

“I just forgot!” 

“You didn’t even text them from the airport?” 

“What do you want me to say, Henry? All I could think about was you,” he admits in a small voice. 

Henry’s face softens as he reaches out and grabs Alex’s hand. He stands up to go get the toast that pops out of the toaster. Alex takes another sip of his coffee. 

“It doesn’t make sense how this is so damn good,” Alex cries. 

Henry sits down with a sigh and puts two pieces of toast in front of each of them. “I suppose it’s time for the lie to end.” 

“What?” 

Henry looks to the ceiling and mutters something to himself. “I lied,” he admits. Alex is confused. “The first time you ever asked me how I made your coffee, I lied.” 

“What, a couple months ago?” 

He shakes his head. “No, more like years ago. When the routine of me making your coffee started. I lied. You asked me how I made it and I lied.” 

Alex bursts out laughing. “Why?” 

“I don’t know. I was distracted when you were listing off the things you put in it and I said that was what I did and then you said it must be the fact that I made it with love and I was pretty fond of that explanation, so I lied and I kept lying. When you had forgotten and you asked how I made your coffee, that was a prime time to end the lie, but I — I…” He cuts himself off and looks down at his hands. “I needed you to want something from me. Even if it was just your coffee. So I kept the lie going.” 

His eyes scrunch closed before he finally opens them and looks at Alex, a vulnerable look on his face. Alex reaches out and takes his hand, squeezing it. 

“Are you telling me this now because you think I want more from you?” 

Henry shrugs. “I’m telling you this now because things have just changed. I don’t need you to want something from me because the way things are now is different. I mean, last night couldn’t have happened the first few weeks you were home.” 

Alex smirks. “You’re right about that.” 

With a big sigh, Henry says, “It was time for the lie to end.”

Alex watches him as he takes another sip of his coffee. “What do you do differently?” 

“I do half a packet of brown sugar,” Henry finally admits, a shy look on his face. 

“That’s it? That’s all the difference is?” 

Henry shrugs. “That’s all. One cinnamon, half sugar, half brown sugar.”

Alex takes a drink of his coffee, trying to taste the differences. He sets the cup back down and shakes his head. “Nope. There’s still something else.” 

“I don’t know what you think it is.” 

Alex watches him as he takes another sip, ahhing afterward. “It’s the love.” 

The look on Henry’s face is enough to make Alex smile and lean in, pulling him in by the collar of his t-shirt and kissing him softly. Henry pulls him closer and Alex stands up from his chair, planting himself in Henry’s lap, his arms wrapped around his neck. 

Henry kisses him deeply, holding him tightly. Alex isn’t going anywhere. 

It’s Henry who says it though, pulling back, and breathing his words to Alex. “I promise you. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Alex nods, a smile spreading slowly across his face. “Me either, baby.” 

Henry nearly melts and Alex leans into him, kissing him again. When Henry’s hands find their way past Alex’s waistband, he thinks the kitchen is a fine place to start re-christening the house. 


	17. Three Little Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay again. My life has just been a lot crazier than I had planned. I'm currently quarantined until the middle of next week, so we'll see if that translates into quicker updates!

As Henry settles back into the house, it almost feels like  _ both  _ of them are settling in. Alex certainly seems more comfortable being around him than he was before Henry left. And there are even times he forgets about everything because things just feel  _ right.  _

It always comes back — of course — but now it’s a bit less painful than it was when he would remember before. 

The difference is all Alex. Where he was all rough and ready to snap before, now he’s calmer and asks questions. He’s easy to initiate contact between them, whereas before he’d stay as far away from Henry as he could. When they sit on the couch and watch something, Alex feels no hesitation in planting himself right next to Henry. And Henry is more than happy to curl himself into Alex. The same thing happens in the kitchen. After the accident, Henry could measure how Alex thought of him by how far away he sat at the table. But now, he’s back in his rightful place, right next to Henry. 

Henry’s still doing minimal work from home, not really wanting to leave Alex yet. The shelter is functioning without him there, which Pez reminds him that it means he’s done a good job. Henry will stay in his study for a bit, doing what work is necessary, but now that Alex  _ wants  _ to be around him, it’s hard to sequester himself for too long. 

It’s been a couple of weeks now that Henry’s been back and it really has been lovely. Still, he watches Alex continue to struggle with what he lost and it’s hard to watch. Another change though, is that Alex will ask more questions. Henry’s lost track of the amount of times he’s heard “Can I ask you a question?” But it brings him such joy because he knows Alex wants to know more. 

Tonight, they’re sitting on the couch, the remote for the tv in Alex’s hand. “What should we watch?” 

Henry just snuggles further into the couch, his arm linked through Alex’s. “I don’t care. You decide.” 

Alex rolls his eyes. “You realize you’ve let me decide like the last three nights?” 

Henry shrugs. “Have I? Hmm.” 

Alex shakes his head, a ghost of a smile there and selects something. He puts the remote down and curls in closer to Henry, patting his lap for David to join them. David jumps up and lays on Alex’s lap and Alex immediately starts patting him. Henry isn’t even paying attention to the tv, he’s too focused on the perfect image right in front of him. He rests his head on Alex’s shoulder with a smile on his face. 

“Wait, Bake-Off?” 

“I thought you liked it.” 

Henry picks his head up and looks at Alex. “I do.” He can’t remember ever mentioning it in the months before he left. Most times if he was having a hard day, he watched it on his laptop in his room, away from Alex. 

Alex watches him for a minute. “Don’t give me that look. I’m sure you mentioned it.” 

“Mm, possibly,” Henry says, appeasing him. He lays his head back on Alex’s shoulder, delighted when Alex rests his head on top of his. Even if he’ll keep it to himself, Henry knows that Alex remembered that about him. 

They’re into their second — or maybe third — episode when Henry realizes this is maybe an okay moment for him to say what he’s been feeling the need to say since he returned. He reaches forward for the remote and pauses it. 

Alex gives him a look and Henry just stiffens, shooting him a tense smile. “I have something that I want to talk about with you.” Alex nods. “Something...that’ll probably be hard to talk about.” 

“You want to go back to England?” Alex asks, a pained look on his face. 

“What? No!” Henry assures him, grabbing his hands and squeezing. “No, not at all. No, this is less about me and more about...well, you.” 

Alex frowns. “Okay…” 

“This is really hard to say,” Henry starts. 

“Oh my god, Henry, this is killing me! Just say what you need to say!” Alex has a look of panic about him and Henry feels like an idiot. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. Look, I’ve just been thinking about all that you’ve been through in the last few months and I…” He takes a deep breath, looking at their hands and not Alex’s face. “I think you should consider going to therapy.” 

Alex is silent for a long moment and Henry is trying to keep himself composed. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to suggest it. Maybe they’re not ready for Henry to be making such comments. “That’s what you wanted to tell me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well June beat you to that by at least a month,” Alex tells him. Henry picks up his head and stares at him. “She pulled me aside one night while you were gone and told me that with everything going on, it would probably be smart to see a therapist.” 

“Oh.” 

“And I told her I agreed.” 

“You did?” Henry asks. Alex nods. “But, you haven’t been going anywhere since we’ve been back. At least, not on your own.” 

“Well, I haven’t gone yet. I am planning on going, I just...uh, missed my first appointment.” 

“Why?” 

“It was...a couple of weeks ago.” 

Henry stares at him. “Did you miss your therapy appointment because you were in England?” Alex grimaces with a nod. “You fool!” Henry jokes. 

“What? Getting to you seemed more important than anything else. And I stand by that. Anyway, it took them a bit to reschedule me. I have an appointment next week.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. I was going to tell you. It just hasn’t come up yet.” 

“Well, okay then.” 

Henry settles back into the couch, resuming the show. Alex isn’t sitting back, though. 

“Hey,” he says, drawing Henry’s attention. “You don’t have to feel so nervous to suggest things that would be good for me.” 

Henry leans in, pressing a kiss to Alex’s shoulder — the closest spot he can reach. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

And with that, Alex seems satisfied, leaning back and curling back up with Henry. 

* * *

Alex isn’t quite sure how Henry does this so often. He thinks of all the weeks that Henry left him for around an hour and came back, noticeably raw. His palms are clammy as he sits in the waiting room. Henry offered to come with him and sit outside, but Alex wanted to do it on his own. Now that he’s sitting here waiting, he’s not sure why he turned Henry down. It would be nice to have someone to talk to while he waits anxiously. 

Finally, they call him in and Alex walks into the office a bit uncertainly. He sits down, fidgeting with his hands a bit. 

The therapist lets him get comfortable for a bit before speaking. “So, Alex, why don’t you tell me what brings you in today?” 

Alex clears his throat. It’s the first time he’s talked to someone about this that’s not in his immediate sphere. But worse than that, he’ll have to explain all the ways he feels about it. 

He takes a deep breath and starts speaking. “Well, about three months ago, I had an accident. I was in a coma for a week. And when I woke up, they asked me all these questions and eventually told me that I have memory loss. Amnesia. Whichever. I forgot the last six years of my life.” 

“That must be really challenging.” 

“Yeah. Well, that would be putting it lightly. I had this whole life I couldn’t remember. Married to a man that I hated at the time of the memories I still retained. It was awful. I didn’t know what to do.” 

“So what did you do?” 

“I acted like an asshole,” Alex replies bluntly. “I tried catching up on what had been happening in the world the last six years, but never really cared to learn all that much about what had happened in my personal life. I accused my husband of some really terrible things. I was just...I was a total asshole.” 

“Sometimes when we’re confronted with a trauma like that, we lash out. And that’s a normal reaction. When we don’t understand things and things feel out of our control, we can get angry.” 

“I was angry,” Alex agrees. “I still feel a bit angry. I had this amazing life and I don’t even remember it.” He shakes his head. “But instead of trying to learn more about that life or anything, I just took my anger out on my husband. To the point that he left.” 

“And that’s what brought you here?” 

“No,” Alex corrects. “No, his leaving made me want to change how I was acting, and yes, that was originally why I made the appointment, but he has since returned. Well, I went to him and begged him to come back. But I still want to handle things better. I’m still mad about what I’ve lost. Probably more now that I’ve gotten a hint of what it was like before.”

“What changes were you making before you came to therapy?” 

“I’ve been trying to express my frustrations more instead of just keeping them to myself and eventually snapping at someone, turning them away from me.” 

“That sounds like a healthy choice to be making.” 

Alex nods, trying to decide how to continue. “It is helpful to try and express things. It’s certainly better for those around me. But even with the changes I’ve made, I still feel...stuck.” 

“How so?” 

He sighs. “I went all the way to England to beg my husband to come back, but I still can’t tell him how I really feel. I mean, I think he knows because I went and asked him to come back, but I don’t know for sure. He could just think I want my life back. Which I do, especially him, but…” Alex rubs a hand down his face. “I don’t know why I can’t say it. I’ve said almost everything  _ but  _ that. But every time I try to, I just freeze. The words are on my tongue, but they won’t go past it.” 

“Why do you think that is?” 

“I don’t know,” Alex admits. “It’s so frustrating. He says it to me. There’s never any hesitation on his end, but with me… Why can’t I do something as simple as telling him that?” 

“My guess is because it’ll make you vulnerable.” Alex looks up at him and considers his point. It makes sense. “Your life already feels out of control. Your husband, your family, these people all have memories about you that you don’t remember. That makes you feel out of control. Are you the type of person who prefers to be in control?” 

“Typically. At least of my own life.” 

His therapist nods in reply. “So you’re out of your comfort zone.” 

“That does make sense. I guess I’m scared to...to tell him and put it out there, bring that into it. Because…” 

“Because you’ll lose a little bit less control? You’ll be more vulnerable?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alex, every time that anyone shares that with someone, puts their trust in someone else, it makes them more vulnerable. Do you think that your husband will leave again? Is that why you’re worried?” 

Alex shakes his head. “No, I really don’t. I’m just…” he sighs, “I’m just stuck. I trust him. I know he’s going to stay. I mean, it’s what he wants too. When he left, he thought I didn’t want him anymore. And I thought he didn’t want me without my memories, so I didn’t immediately go after him.” 

“But you eventually did?” 

“Yeah. And I realized everything had just been a big miscommunication.” 

“So he came home?”

“Yes.” 

“And you’ve been acting like a married couple?” 

“Yes.” 

“Which you weren’t doing before he left?” 

“Definitely not.” 

His therapist is silent for a moment, watching Alex. It makes him feel itchy. “Are you concerned that your feelings are not real?” 

“What? No. No, I know how I feel about him.” 

“Do you think it’s just a feeling creeping past the memory loss?” 

“No. I don’t know. I guess I’ve thought of that, but what difference does that make?” 

“You tell me.” 

“If it’s my memories creeping through, then I’m remembering what it’s like to love him. And if it’s not then I’ve figured it out on my own in the last few months. I don’t see how that’s really that different.” 

“Then I would attribute your hesitance to actually voice your feelings to the fact that it will make you even more vulnerable. Bringing love into any relationship takes things a step further. If this is what you feel will help you break through in your progress to keep recapturing your old life, then you need to find a way to push past this block you have.” 

“I do want to keep recapturing my old life. I’ve been a lot better at asking questions and trying to figure out the little memories that have crept back in.” 

“I think that is a good idea. It seems like you are trying your hardest to push past this roadblock in your life. That being said, I do think that continued sessions can also help.” 

Alex nods. “I can do that too. Whatever it takes.” 

* * *

Henry’s sitting in his study, writing on a new idea when he hears the door open. He closes his laptop and turns to the door as he hears Alex’s footsteps approaching. For a moment, he sees Alex, the raw look about him, and Henry’s a bit scared. The last time Alex came in looking like this, Henry tried to help him feel better and Alex snapped and Henry left. He’s fairly certain Alex won’t snap at him this time and he’s completely certain that he won’t leave again, but he’s still a bit on edge. 

Alex walks in and leans against Henry’s desk. “Hey,” he says in a small voice. 

Henry reaches out and lays his hand on Alex’s where it rests on the desk. “How are you doing?” 

Alex shrugs a bit. “Okay.” He tilts his head as he looks down at Henry. “Just a lot to think about, I guess.” 

Henry nods. “That makes sense.” He feels hesitant to say more. 

“What are you doing?” Alex asks. 

“Oh, just puttering around on some project. Nothing important. It’s about lunchtime. Would you care to eat?” 

Alex watches him for a moment before he leans in and kisses him softly. “Yeah, that sounds good.” 

Henry stands up from his chair and moves to walk from his study, but Alex stops him, wrapping him in a tight hug. Henry’s arms immediately wrap around him and hold him back. He presses a kiss at Alex’s temple. Henry typically isolates himself a bit after therapy — even before the accident — but if this is what Alex needs, he’s more than happy to assist. 

They’re pretty lazy for the rest of the day. Alex’s head ends up in his lap and Henry runs his fingers through Alex’s hair. Even if Alex doesn’t really want to talk about it, he stays by Henry all day, often talking about other things instead. 

That night, Henry’s still awake, reading a book and Alex is asleep beside him. He looks down at him sleeping. A smile crosses his face before he turns back to his book. 

“Henry?” Alex says. 

“Hmm?” Henry looks over and Alex is still asleep. It’s not the first time he’s talked in his sleep. In fact the most “Alex” thing about him is that sometimes he still talks, even in his sleep. 

Henry turns back to his book, letting Alex have whatever dream he’s having. “Henry,” Alex says again. Based on the tone of his voice, Henry thinks he’s still asleep. “I love you, Henry.” 

That grabs Henry’s attention. He looks over and Alex’s eyes are still closed and he looks decidedly asleep. He stares at him for a long time, cherishes the words, hoping some part of Alex really means it. Henry knows that Alex must feel  _ something  _ since he came all the way to England to bring him home. There’s also all the changes of the last few weeks — the closeness, the intimacy — that proves that Alex feels something for Henry. It’s something he’s debated in moments by himself. He’s told himself more times than he can count that even if it’s just attraction, it’s a good place to start. But he really thinks it’s more than that. 

Maybe this is the proof. 

Henry puts his book down, shuts off his lamp, and lays down in bed. His arms curl around Alex, holding him close. It’s the quickest Henry’s fallen to sleep since he’s been back. 

The next couple of days pass with no more mentions of love. And Henry doesn’t need to hear it, really. He knows that Alex wants him there and that's enough. There are moments occasionally where Alex pauses, watches Henry for a moment, and then goes back to what he was doing. It makes Henry wonder what’s going on in his head, but not enough to press him on it. 

It’s been two nights since Alex talked in his sleep when Henry wakes up to find the other side of the bed empty. He frowns and sits up, looking around the room. Putting on his robe, he leaves the bedroom, searching for Alex. Once he’s on the stairs, he figures out where Alex is. A lamp is on in the living room, the light of the tv flashing. Alex is sitting there, his knees curled to his chest, staring intensely at whatever he’s watching. 

At the sound of Henry’s steps, Alex turns around. “Did I wake you up?” 

Henry shakes his head. “No. I just woke up and you weren’t there. I wondered where you’d gotten to.” 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Alex says as Henry sits down next to him on the couch. “I didn’t want to bother you.” 

“I wouldn’t have minded.” Henry faces the tv and is surprised to see his own face on there. “Are you...watching our wedding?” 

A sheepish look crosses Alex’s face. “Yeah, actually. I think you were right with what you said back in England. I think I watched it the last time and looked for the details, trying to figure out how we’d gotten there. But I wanted to watch it again and...well, I wanted to watch  _ us  _ this time.” 

Henry smiles as he looks back at Alex. “Do you mind if I join you?” 

“I’d prefer it if you’re willing to stay up.” 

“I’m willing,” Henry says, settling in beside him. Alex takes his hand and laces their fingers together, holding their hands in his lap. 

Alex hits play and they watch from midway through their wedding. This time Alex asks more questions. He points out people as the camera pans around, asking how they made the guest list. He comments on readings at their wedding, appreciating the choices they made. He points out parts he thinks might have been “too royal” that made them have a secret wedding. And Henry answers everything, happy to reminisce on their engagement and their wedding. 

Alex starts it over when it ends to ask Henry his questions from the first part that he missed. He pauses it around the time that Henry walked in, on a shot of them grinning at each other. They sit there for a moment in silence. Henry isn’t sure what to say, isn’t sure what’s going on in Alex’s mind. He’s staring at the tv, at the joy on their faces the day they got married. Well, married in public. 

“Henry?” he says without looking over. 

“Yes?” His eyes are trained on Alex. 

Finally, Alex turns from the tv and looks at Henry. “I love you.” 

Henry smiles, squeezing his hand. “I know.” 

Alex’s eyes go wide, a comical grin on his face. “Did you just Han Solo me?!” 

Henry laughs, his head tilting backwards. “I suppose I did. Sorry.” He watches Alex as his laughing peters out. “You said it a couple of nights ago in your sleep.” 

“What? I don’t talk in my sleep.” 

“You do, actually,” Henry tells him. “Typically, it’s only when you’re really stressed out about something. You and I had a lot of interesting conversations during your second year of law school.” 

“Did you ever tell me?” 

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t know why, but I never did.” 

Alex grins a bit. “So you and I had conversations that I didn’t remember even before my brain took a hit?” 

With a laugh, Henry says, “Yes, I suppose so.” 

Alex watches him for a minute, an amused look on his face. “Well, I meant it.” He takes a deep breath. “I love you, Henry.” 

Henry leans forward and cups Alex’s face in his hands. “I love you, too.” He presses his lips to Alex’s and they meet in a slow, soft kiss. 

They turn off the tv and Henry encourages Alex to try and sleep again. Alex curls into him and goes to sleep pretty quickly. Henry presses a kiss to his head and smiles to himself as he tries to find sleep as well. If things had felt more normal before, tonight takes it to a new level. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!


	18. Next Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad just once I was able to update quickly! 
> 
> (side note, all the law related stuff discussed in this chapter is just me guessing/making stuff up. Sorry if I'm waaaay wrong. It worked in the context of the story! k, thanks, bye)

Alex is staring intensely at his computer when Henry walks back into the house. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of Alex’s head and walks off toward the kitchen. Alex says hi, but can’t pull his focus from his computer. 

“I do not want to know what that face is for,” Henry says. Alex finally drags his eyes away and sees Henry sipping a glass of water, leaning in the doorway. He lets his eyes rake over him for just a moment. 

“Well, I guess it’s finally time to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do with my life,” Alex tells him. Things finally feel fully settled with Henry, like they’re where they need to be. It gives Alex the urge to try to fix the other parts of his life too. He shakes his head. “Anyway, what’s going on at the shelter? That seems like a less complicated topic.” Henry sighs. “Or maybe not.” 

“We had some protesters outside the shelter. They were intimidating one of the kids trying to enter. It was a whole fucking mess.” 

“What did Sarah say?” Alex asks, turning back to his computer. He’s met with silence. Finally, he looks back up at Henry and sees a stunned look on his face. “What? Did I make Sarah up? I thought she was the social worker at the shelter.” 

“She was,” Henry tells him. “However her last day was the week you were in the coma.” 

“She ditched you the week your husband was in the hospital?” Alex asks, deflecting. “Seems rude.” 

“Her husband got a job in Philadelphia, so she moved with him. It was already planned that it would be her last week,” Henry explains. “But...you knew who she was.” 

“I’m sure you’ve mentioned her.” 

“I guarantee I haven’t.” Alex just shrugs and turns back to his computer. Henry walks toward him, a confused look on his face. “Why are you so ready to brush off moments when you remember things?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Alex.” 

He looks up at Henry and frowns. “Because I don’t want either of us to get our hopes up that it’s all coming back. It might not. It would be so fucking easy if it did. I wouldn’t have to” — he gestures at his computer — “figure out how to go forward with my life. But I don’t want to count on it coming back. It’s easier to assume it’s not and to just keep plowing forward and find things out on my own like I have been.” 

“I understand.” Henry sighs and sits down next to Alex. “So what are you looking up?” 

Alex turns his laptop so Henry can see it too. “Trying to see if there are any other instances where lawyers lost their memory and how it was handled.” 

“Are there?” 

Alex blows out a breath. “Not that I can find.” 

Henry takes his hand. “Well, is law really what you want to do?” 

“It’s what I chose before,” Alex reminds him. 

“I know it was, but that doesn’t mean you have to choose it again. If something else sounds better, then go with that.” 

“I think I owe it to the person I was before the accident to try and go as far with this as I can. I was clearly passionate about it. Maybe I can find that again. I just have to figure out if they’ll even  _ let  _ me,” Alex says with a groan. 

Henry’s hand moves to the base of Alex’s neck, rubbing, relaxing him a bit. He leans back into it. “I may have someone who might be able to help you.” 

“You do?” Henry nods as he stands up and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Where the hell was this source any time in the last three and a half months, Henry?” 

He gives him half a shrug in reply. “I didn’t know if you were really planning to go back to law. Besides, when I offered my help with your job the last time, it wasn’t met with the most encouraging response.” Alex glares at him. “Are we not at the point where we can joke about these things yet?” 

Alex rolls his eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “So you really have someone who could maybe help?” 

Henry holds up one finger and clicks on a number on his phone. “We’ll see.” He’s silent as he waits for the other line to be answered. “Hi there, it’s Henry. How are you?” Alex sits and listens to half of a conversation, wondering who the hell Henry’s on the phone with. “Tell me, would you two be free for dinner any time soon?” He laughs. “No way, you’re already going to be in New York this weekend? That sounds perfect. Would you be willing to schedule us in? I can make Alex cook.” He laughs again. “Yes, Oscar did teach him all the good recipes.” There’s some talk on the other end and then Henry’s ending the conversation. “Well great. We’ll see you on Friday! I look forward to it. Okay. Mhmm. Bye.” 

He sits back down next to Alex like there’s no explanation needed. “What the hell was that?” Alex finally asks. 

“Hmm?” 

“Who did you call?” 

“Oh, that was Rafael.” 

“Luna?” 

“I don’t know any other Rafaels.” 

“Wait,  _ Raf  _ has been your ‘contact’ this whole time?” 

“Well, it’s not really him. It’s his boyfriend.”

“Raf has a boyfriend?” 

Henry nods. “Yes. His name is Oliver. He was actually one of your teachers at NYU.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“Nope.” 

“Did I set them up?” 

“No.” 

“Do I like him?”

“Very much. Both as a person and as Raf’s boyfriend.” 

Alex shakes his head, trying to absorb this new information. “I can’t believe Raf has a boyfriend that I didn’t know about. I can’t wait to make fun of him.” 

“Why do you feel the need to make fun of him for it?” 

“Why not? I mean he made fun of me for you.” 

Henry stares at him for a long moment. “Recently?” 

Alex freezes. It’s Henry’s question that makes him realize he’s unlocked some other little memory. “No, actually, I don’t think it was. I don’t even know if we were together. I just remember him teasing me when I came to visit him in his office. Something about thinking I was obsessed with you. I mean, it had to have been before because I haven’t been to his office since the accident.” 

Henry is trying so hard to keep all expression off his face. “Huh,” he just says. Alex appreciates that he’s not making a big deal out of another memory, especially given how inconsequential it really is. 

“Anyway, so they’re coming here?” 

“Yes. On Friday. Oliver should have some insight into your situation according to Raf.” 

“Cool.” Alex shuts his laptop and puts it on the table in front of him, turning back to Henry. “Well, I guess I don’t have anything else to do today, then.” 

Henry immediately picks up on his subtext. “Then whatever will you do with your day?” 

Alex smirks as he moves closer to Henry. “You.” 

A laugh bursts from Henry as he reaches out for Alex. “I’m good with that.” 

Their arms go around each other as they kiss deeply. Alex leans forward and presses Henry down into the couch, moving over him. Henry’s fingers are carding through his hair. Alex starts pulling at his shirt, breaking their kiss to tear it off. 

“Yours too,” Henry breathes as Alex moves to kiss him again. His quick fingers work at getting the shirt up and off Alex. Before it even hits the floor, Alex is kissing him again, straying from his mouth, down his neck and to his chest. Henry’s hands move to his waistband and push his pants down. “Are you commando?” Henry asks with a laugh as Alex nips at his neck. 

Alex just shrugs and kisses his mouth again. Henry’s tongue slips into his mouth as his hands move lower, right to where Alex wants him to go. Henry swallows his moan as his hand closes around him. He bucks his hips into Henry, earning a groan. His hands roam down Henry’s torso to his own waistband. He’s got the button popped and the zipper down when they hear the front door open. 

“Hey, boys!” June calls. 

Alex nearly screams, flailing off Henry and falling to the floor as he tries to pull his pants up. Henry reaches for his shirt and is pulling it on as June winds around the corner. Alex pops up next to the couch, shirtless, hoping June can’t see anything below the belt. He plants himself on the couch next to Henry, grabbing a pillow to hold in his lap. 

“Hey, June.” 

She stands there and shakes her head at them. “My god, y’all. Is this what it was like when you originally moved in together?” Alex looks to Henry who is suppressing a grin. He just shrugs. “I’m glad I didn’t live here then.” 

“Anyway, what’s up, June?” Alex asks. 

“Well, I finished up a story and left work early. Thought I’d stop by and see what you guys were up to.” 

“Oh.” He looks over at Henry and really, really wants to continue with what they were doing. “Well we’re fine. Don’t feel the need to stick around.” 

June scoffs. “Just for that, I’m actually going to stay.” She walks over and sits at the other end of the sectional and glares at them. “Should we watch something? I could put on  _ Star Wars.  _ I know you both love that.” 

“Sure, that sounds fine,” Henry says in a small voice. Alex glares at him. 

June puts on  _ A New Hope  _ and they all sit back to watch. Alex is a bit frustrated with his sister, but he figures he’d do the same thing if June or Nora had said that to him. He settles into the couch and watches as the words play across the screen. 

“Oh my god!” he suddenly yells. Both June and Henry look at him like he’s crazy. 

“What?” Henry asks. 

His feet are now planted in Alex’s lap. Alex grabs onto them with both of his hands. “We need to talk about the fact that you  _ lied  _ to me!” 

“God, maybe I shouldn’t be here,” June mutters. 

“What? When did I lie?” 

“When you fucking told me that  _ Empire  _ is your favorite. It’s not. Your favorite is  _ Return of the Jedi.  _ Why did you lie to me?” 

“Did you remember that it’s his favorite?” June asks. 

“No, it was in our emails that I read,” Alex says, not looking back at her. 

Henry’s silent for a long moment and Alex holds eye contact with him, urging him to confess. Finally, he sighs and looks away from Alex. “Things were...delicate at the time. And every time I ever talked about  _ Return of the Jedi  _ being my favorite, you made fun of me. At that time, things were barely cordial between us. I didn’t think I could take it if you teased me. You’d finally started spending any amount of time with me willingly. I just...I don’t know, it felt easier to lie.” 

Alex rubs his thumbs along the arches of Henry’s feet. “I guess that makes sense.” Henry smiles, nudging him with his toe. “Any other lies you told me that I haven’t figured out yet?” 

“Yes,” Henry says, a careful look on his face. “I was actually having an affair with Nora.” 

“ _ What _ ?” 

Henry rolls his eyes. “I’m obviously kidding, you idiot.” 

Alex leans over and smacks him. “You asshole.” 

June laughs from her spot on the couch. “So, we’re joking about the time before you came back from England now?” 

“Apparently,” Alex tells her. “He’s told at least a couple of jokes like that today. It’s not my favorite.” Henry just shrugs, an amused grin on his face. 

Friday gets here faster than Alex expects. He’s excited to see Raf. The only time he’s seen him since the accident was the time he came with Alex’s parents. He’s also a bit nervous to meet this person who Raf is dating — this person he’s already supposed to know. 

Luckily, Henry sticks him in the kitchen while he straightens up the house. He breezes in and out, asking if Alex needs help. When he’s finally finished making sure things look appropriate, he plants himself on the counter next to where Alex is cooking. It all feels so terribly domestic that Alex can’t help but smile. He wonders how often they did this before. 

Now, though, he’s comfortable asking. 

“How often did we do this before?” he asks, looking at Henry as he stirs. 

“Do what?” 

“This — cooking, cleaning, entertaining.” He gestures to Henry’s spot on the counter and to his pan as he cooks. 

“Not all that often after Nora and June moved to New York. Things got more casual then. But before then, we had some fun hosting little dinners when they were in town.” 

Alex sets his spoon down and steps between Henry’s legs. “Well, I like it.” 

Henry smiles, leaning down to kiss him. Thankfully, the peppers start sizzling and Alex pulls back. Otherwise, he thinks Raf and Oliver could find them in a compromising situation like June did earlier in the week. 

The food is mostly ready by the time the doorbell rings. Alex turns down the heat on the stove and goes with Henry to the door. 

Raf looks the same as ever as he steps inside and pulls Alex into a hug. He steps back with a grin and pulls a bag of Skittles out of his jacket and lobs them to Alex. Looking down at the bag in his hand, he can’t help but laugh. 

He steps closer to Raf. “So you have a boyfriend?” 

Rafael rolls his eyes and glances over his shoulder to see Oliver and Henry talking. “I do.” 

“How come you’ve never mentioned it? We have talked in the last three months. You were even here!” 

“Yes, but Alex, we were busy talking about you all those times.” 

Alex fights the urge to flip him off and just glares at him instead. “Bastard,” he mutters. 

Raf just grins. He turns to the other two and extends an arm, gesturing his boyfriend forward. “Alex, this is Oliver Westbrook.” 

They both extend a hand and shake. “Don’t worry, I know it’s weird being reintroduced to someone you already know.” 

Oliver laughs. “No worries, really. I’m sure it’s weirder on your end.” 

“Weird is certainly one way to put it,” Alex says with a shake of his head. He looks over and sees Henry wearing a soft smile as he watches him. “How does food sound?” 

“Sounds great!” Raf says eagerly. 

“I hope it’s okay that it’s not Five Guys, Raf,” Alex teases. He just rolls his eyes in response and walks toward the kitchen. 

They chat as they serve their own food and catch up a bit. Well, at least for the others. Alex just listens, trying to put it all together. Eventually, Oliver puts his napkin down on the table and locks eyes with Alex. “Okay, so let’s talk about your situation.” 

“Oh. Oh, okay,” he sputters. “I mean, we don’t have to right now.” 

“Now’s fine,” Oliver says. “Ever since Raf told me about your accident and memory loss, I’ve been doing my own research and have been working with some of my former colleagues.” 

“Former colleagues?” Alex asks. 

“I left NYU a year ago and moved to D.C.” 

Alex looks over at Rafael with a grin on his face. Raf just shakes his head at him. “Matter at hand, Alex,” he says. 

“Yeah, right. So, what did they have to say?” 

“There’s admittedly not much of a precedence for something like this. It’s understandable that your bosses would be hesitant to take a chance on keeping you on. They haven’t officially fired you, have they?” Alex shakes his head. “Good. Okay, so you can’t be stripped of your degree based on something like an accident. You completed and passed all the classes. You earned your degree fair and square. But, the thing you  _ have to pass  _ to be able to practice is the bar.” 

“Oh fuck,” Henry mutters, a hand going to his head. 

Raf and Oliver laugh while Alex stares at him. “Excuse me?” 

“Nothing. Please continue, Oliver.” 

He’s still laughing as he continues. “So, all of us think that in order to be able to continue practicing law, you’d just have to pass the bar again to prove that you’re capable.” 

“But I don’t remember the stuff I have to know to pass the bar,” Alex reminds him. 

“Right, so that’s going to be tricky. But you can study.” They pointedly ignore Henry’s groan. “There’s a bar exam scheduled for February. It might be enough time for you to study and see if you can pass it. That should be enough for you to prove to your employers that you’re still able to do your job. You could also see if they’d allow you to have a mentor or something, someone to shadow in this extenuating circumstance.” 

Alex nods repeatedly, soaking in all the information. “Okay, only sounds slightly impossible, but okay. I’ve worked with worse odds, right?” 

“You’re a bisexual, half-mexican man who married into the British royal family. I think you’ve worked with harder odds before,” Raf points out. Henry hides a laugh behind his glass of wine. 

“Fair enough.” He looks to Henry. “Do I still have my bar study books?” 

“You’ll need a current book. Sometimes it changes year to year,” Oliver advises. “But not to worry, I brought you one.” 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Alex says. 

“It’s the least I can do. And I want you to know that you have the full confidence of all of your former teachers. If any of your class was going to basically reteach themselves and pass the bar again, we all decided you’re the most likely.” 

Alex feels a bit choked up, so he tries to cover it up by taking a sip of his wine. “Well, thank you.” 

“Look, if there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.” 

“Either of us,” Raf adds. 

Alex shakes his head. “You’ve both done plenty without me even asking.” 

“That’s what you do for family,” Rafael reminds him. “You know that.” 

Alex nods, trying to fight how touched he’s feeling. 

The group of them finishes out the evening pleasantly and eventually Rafael and Oliver leave, making Alex promise to let them know if he needs anything else from them. 

Henry steps into the kitchen and is loading the dishwasher while Alex lingers in the hallway, looking down at the New York Bar study book that Oliver had given him. It really does feel like an impossible task, perhaps the hardest one he’s been faced with since he woke up from his coma. He tries to keep in mind what Oliver told him about his former teachers and their faith in him. It just feels like  _ a lot.  _

He’s not sure how long he’s standing there before Henry walks up behind him, wrapping his arms around him. Alex leans back into the warm solidness of his husband. “How bad was it?” he asks. 

Henry chuckles, leaning his head on Alex’s shoulder. “It was a challenge. For both of us, really. For you to feel confident enough to pass and for me to keep you watered and fed.” 

Alex laughs and sets the book on the table in the hall. He turns around in Henry’s arms and wraps his own around him. “I can’t promise I’ll be any better this time,” he says in a small voice. 

“Oh, I know you won’t be,” Henry says. “But I’ll be here to help just like I did before. I can promise that.” 

“It feels kind of impossible,” Alex admits. 

Henry pulls back, cupping Alex’s face in his hands. “I agree with Oliver. If there’s anyone who could pull this off, it’s you.” Alex feels a corner of his mouth turn up halfheartedly. He tilts his head up and kisses Henry. “We’ll get through it together,” Henry promises against his lips. 

Alex turns around and grabs the book again, but Henry takes it out of his hands and holds it above his head. 

“Not yet,” he says. Alex starts to argue, but Henry shuts him up with a hand over his mouth. “Just wait until Monday at the least. Let yourself have one more nice weekend where you aren’t tied up with this fucking test. It’s months away when you’ll get to take it. So, just give yourself — give  _ us  _ one more weekend.” 

Alex glares at Henry. He knows what he’s doing by invoking them as a couple. With a roll of his eyes, he lowers his arm and stops fighting him. “Fine.” He steps closer, his hands going out to clutch the edges of Henry’s cardigan. “But you know what you being bossy does to me.” 

Henry grins. “You go upstairs. I’ll grab the rest of the wine.” Alex bolts up the stairs. He doesn’t need to be told twice. 


	19. What's Thanksgiving Without The Turkeys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my friends on the rwrb discord who pestered, i mean, encouraged me to get started on another chapter! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Alex has been holed up in their joint study for the whole day, trying to make some headway with his preparation for the bar exam. Henry has only been in a couple of times, usually just bringing him food or filling his drink up and leaving. For every other cup of coffee, he leaves Alex a glass of water and a knowing look. He’s really keeping up with his promise of making sure Alex is watered and fed. 

It’s not until his stomach hurts from being so hungry that he finally puts a marker in his book and steps away. Once he’s out of the study and away from the materials, he realizes the headache he has and how exhausted he feels. If this is how he feels in his first week of his study regimen, he’s not sure how he’s going to fare until February. 

He wanders into the kitchen and sees Henry eating on his own. “Any left for me?” 

Henry looks up with a tired smile. Alex feels like a jerk because he doesn’t even know what Henry was up to today. He’s been so entrenched in his studying. “Of course.” He starts to stand up and Alex holds up a hand. 

“I can serve myself. You’ve already been taking care of me all day.” 

Henry waits until Alex sits down at the table. He leans in and gives him a quick kiss before he starts eating. “Yes, but I don’t mind taking care of you.” 

Alex smiles, hanging his head a bit. “Was it always this grueling? It had to be easier knowing the actual material.” 

“You know you don’t have to go through with this, Alex,” Henry reminds him. “It’s completely up to you.” 

“I know. But I’ve gotta try.” 

Henry reaches out and takes his free hand. “Your call.” 

Alex keeps eating and Henry finishes his plate. He sits with Alex, looking through a stack of mail in front of him. He chuckles at something he pulls from one envelope. “What’s that?” 

He holds it up for Alex to see. Ignoring the words, he looks at the pumpkins, gourds, and leaves that decorate the edges of the piece of paper. “It seems to be an invitation to your mother’s home for Thanksgiving.” 

“She’s sending out invitations?” Alex asks, his brow furrowed. 

“Apparently. I guess since it’s her first year out of the White House, she wanted to have some fun with it.” 

“So...does that mean we’re going to Austin for Thanksgiving?” 

“Well, your mum all but demanded that would be the plan a while back.” 

“Before my accident?” 

Henry frowns, his eyes closed. “I don’t honestly remember when she declared that she was going to host it. Maybe it was.” 

Alex sets his fork down and turns more toward Henry. “And do you partake in Thanksgiving?” he teases. 

Henry grins at him. “I’ve been with you for five and a half years, I think I’ve celebrated a Thanksgiving or two. Or five.” 

He gives Henry an impressed look. “And your British blood doesn’t boil in your veins, celebrating such an American holiday?” 

“If my British blood didn’t boil as I brought an American into the royal family, I doubt it would do so for something as piddly as a holiday.” Alex can’t help but laugh as he helps himself to another bite. 

“And you actually enjoy it?” he asks. 

Henry shrugs. “I’m rather used to it now. I can’t say I care for the turkey all that much, but I’ve gotten rather fond of the cornbread. And the stuffing isn’t too bad. Or the —” 

Alex’s fork clatters to his plate. “Shut up.” He holds a hand in Henry’s direction, not looking at him. There are pieces of a memory trying to break through the haze. He has parts of it, but it doesn’t make sense yet. But those words bring it further forward. Turkey. Cornbread. Stuffing. 

Turkey. 

Cornbread.

Stuffing. 

Why do these words feel so fucking signficant? The flashes that stick out in his brain do not seem joined at all. It doesn’t make sense. He opens his eyes and looks at Henry, noting the stunned look on his face. “Are you alright?” he asks. 

“There’s like part of a memory and I can’t figure it out. Okay, I need context.” Henry nods and Alex focuses on him. “We were talking about Thanksgiving and specifically the words: turkey, cornbread, and stuffing. Why am I having part of a memory right now?” 

An odd smirk crosses Henry’s face. 

“Based on your face, I’m guessing this is an actual memory, not some weird dream or something that’s weirdly creeping back into my mind.” 

“Oh, it’s a memory. What can you remember so far?” 

Alex closes his eyes and tries to bring the images back to his mind. It’s almost like trying to remember a dream. “My room at the White House.” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“A turkey in a cage?” 

“Yeah?” 

“And you were there.” 

“Nope, I wasn’t.” 

Alex’s eyes fly open. “Then why are you kind of there in my head?” He puts his head in his hands. 

“Sorry, that was confusing. You called me. We talked that night.” 

Alex picks his head up and looks at Henry. “Oh. Okay.” He takes a deep breath and tries to pull more from the memory. “Fear? I was...scared of something?” He focuses on it for a moment, doing some deep breathing like his therapist recommended once. Finally he looks back at. “Was I scared of the turkey?” 

Henry laughs. “Yes, you were.” 

“Is that why I called you?” 

“Well, yes and no. You called me because I didn’t believe that the turkey gobbling was scary.” 

It’s Alex’s turn to laugh. “But it was? Did I prove it to you?” 

He makes a face like he can’t decide how to answer. “I sort of appeased you.” Henry watches Alex carefully. “What else do you remember?” 

Alex closes his eyes again and focuses back inward. “Just like...us talking?” 

“It was the first time we’d ever talked on the phone,” Henry tells him. Alex feels a soft smile spread across his cheeks. “And it was all because of a bloody turkey. Well, two actually. Their names were Cornbread and Stuffing.” 

“Ahh,” Alex says, shaking his head. “Wait, but why were they in my room?” 

Henry bursts out laughing. “Because you wanted to spare the American tax-payers. You found out they usually stay in a nice hotel and you wouldn’t bloody have it, so you demanded that your mum put them in your room.” 

Alex stares at Henry for a minute before he starts laughing too. “Well, that does sound like me.” 

“Yeah.” Henry’s hand grabs Alex’s, giving an affectionate squeeze. “Any other questions?” 

“So, we weren’t together yet?” Henry shakes his head. “Did you come for the next Thanksgiving?” 

“I did.” 

A slow grin spreads on his face. “Did I have the turkeys put in my room the next year?” 

“Nope,” Henry says, popping the P on the word. “I told you I wouldn’t come if they were in your room. I think you were more than happy for the excuse to let them have their normal accommodations.” 

He stares at the table, not really seeing the table, but focused on another image in his brain. “I gave you a stuffed turkey,” he says, looking up to Henry. “That next year. As a joke.” 

Henry smiles broadly, squeezing Alex’s hand again. “Yes, you did. It gave you a proper laugh. Well, both of us really. We kind of sat there for a moment, me holding the turkey, the both of us realizing how much had changed in the span of a year.” 

“All for the better, though, right?” 

He pulls Alex’s hand up and presses a kiss to the back of it. “Absolutely.”

A private flight is arranged for them for the week of Thanksgiving. Alex suggests they take a commercial flight and Henry seems willing, but Shaan forbids it. It’s much more entertaining having him back around. Alex likes to make ridiculous suggestions just to make Shaan roll his eyes. 

Once they’re in the air, Alex reaches into his backpack and pulls out his bar exam study book. Henry makes an annoyed noise. “No! You brought that bloody thing with you?” 

Alex gives him a look. “The last time we flew together, you were annoyed that I didn’t have ‘proper flight entertainment,’” he says, mimicking Henry’s accent at the end. 

Henry rolls his eyes. “I just figured you’d give yourself a break.” 

“I don’t have time for a break, Henry.” 

With a heavy sigh, Henry turns back to his book. Alex watches him for a minute, wondering if Henry is really as disappointed and annoyed as he seems. They’ve talked about how tough it’s going to be to relearn it all. He knows that Henry knows how worried Alex is about it all. But that look on his face makes Alex regret bringing it. After a few weeks of being happily at home together, Alex is afraid of letting him down again. 

He puts the book back in his bag and turns to Henry, looping his arm through his and leaning his head against Henry’s shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Henry asks. 

“You didn’t want me studying,” he says like it’s obvious. 

Henry stares at him for a long moment. “So you just...put it away?” 

Alex lowers his voice, merely muttering his reply. “I didn’t want you to be mad at me.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Alex.” 

He sighs, moving his arm away from Henry’s and staring at his hands. “I didn’t want you to be mad at me,” he says in a slightly louder voice. 

Henry reaches out and runs a hand through Alex’s hair. He doesn’t want to think about how comforting it is. “I’ve just watched studying become all consuming for you over the years. Even when you were finishing up your degree at Georgetown, I’d be getting up in the morning in England and you were still up working on God knows what. Something that probably wasn’t due for two weeks.” Alex chuckles. Henry really does see him. “And it was the same way in law school, except we were in the same time zone and the same house and so I could come downstairs and pry you away from your studies and make you get some sleep when you got too deep into it.” Henry turns his whole body to look at Alex. “I guess I’m just worried about you going through that all again. I thought it would be nice if we just went to see your family for the holiday and you got some time to just relax.” 

“I want to relax. And I want you to not be worried about me,” he says, looking up at Henry. “But I’m also panicked about how big an undertaking this really is.” 

Henry pulls Alex to lean against him, pressing a kiss to his head. “I know. I just hope you can find some balance. You’ll be no good to your employers if you’re dead.” 

Alex laughs. “I’m pretty sure I won’t die.” He turns his head and kisses Henry’s shoulder. “But if you’d rather I focus on time with my family, then I guess I can try to do that.” 

“I think you’d just be happier if you did that,” Henry offers. “You’ve seen June and Nora, but we haven’t spent but one day as a family since your accident.” 

“And you spent most of that day in the study,” Alex says. 

Henry chuckles. “You noticed that?” 

Alex hides a smile against Henry’s shoulder. “I guess I was paying more attention to you than I thought I was.” He pulls his head back and looks up at Henry. Smiling down at him, Henry leans in, meeting him for a soft kiss.

It feels so comfortable and warm once they get to Alex’s mom’s house. June and Nora beat them by an hour. They were extended an invitation to fly with Alex and Henry, but the lunatics decided to road trip from New York to Austin. 

After dinner, Ellen presses a Shiner into Alex’s hand and tilts her head toward her home office. Alex opens the beer and follows her. They sit down in matching chairs and sip their beers in silence for a moment. 

“How are you doing, Sugar?” 

Alex looks up at his mom. He’d figured she’d be watching him carefully while they were there. This is the longest he’s gotten to spend with his mom since his accident. Who knew the former president was still so busy? 

“I’m doing okay, Mom.” 

“Are you?” 

He shrugs. “I’m certainly doing better now than I was before.” 

“Once stuff got settled between you and Henry?” 

“Did June tell you all about that?” 

Ellen smirks before taking a sip of her beer. “Of course she did. When you reappeared after no one had heard from you in two days, she called me and said not to scold you because you’d gone to fix things with Henry.” 

“I wondered why you never called and yelled at me.” 

“It didn’t seem necessary,” she says. “I’m just glad everything is better between you two. He’s good for you. I’ve always thought that.” 

“Always?” Alex asks. “As the sitting President of the United States, how did you feel when I told you that my boyfriend was a prince of another country?” 

His mom bursts out laughing. “Well, it probably would have been easier if you’d actually called him your boyfriend. You just sat in front of me all nervously and said you were bi and that you had a thing with him.” 

Alex joins her in laughter, covering his face with his hands. “Wow.” 

“Yep. I told you that if you didn’t feel forever about him, you needed to shut it all down.” 

He watches her for a moment. “Well, I guess it’s pretty telling that I’m now married to him.” 

“Oh, it was probably a month, month and a half later that you stood in front of the world and basically said as much.” 

“After the emails?” he asks. She nods. “Seems like it was a shitshow.” 

“You’d be right. But in the end, you two were able to be open and I still got re-elected. It was fine.” Alex sighs, shaking his head, drinking more of his beer. He can feel his mom’s eyes on him. “What’s on your mind, Sugar?” 

“It just feels impossible,” he says in a small voice. “Making up for the last six years, it just...sometimes it feels like it’s just too much.” 

“Well of course it does, but I’ve never known you to back down from a challenge,” she replies. “Look at how far you’ve already come.” 

“All I did was fly across the ocean and get my husband back.” 

“That is not all you’ve done,” Ellen reminds him. “Your sister reports to me pretty regularly about how you’re doing. I know that after Henry left you chose to work on yourself instead of immediately running after him. That’s a big deal. I know that you started looking into the things you did, the person you were before the accident. That’s important. I know that you let Nora and June take care of you. That’s not something you easily do. I know that as far as you knew, you were risking rejection when you went to Henry. I know that you’ve been going to therapy. Alex, that’s a huge step. I know that you’re trying to claw your way back into your career when you could easily just give up. But you’re not. You’ve made so many big choices that are helping you deal with this better than you were before. You’re actively choosing to handle it better than you did in the first couple of months. You’re moving past your grief over what you’ve lost and into the stage where you’re fighting to get it back. You’ve come a long way.” 

Tears spring to his eyes and he feels a bit choked up. “Well, I guess when you put it like that…” 

“I know trying to take the bar again and prove that you can still be a lawyer must feel impossible, but Alex, you’ve never backed down against a challenge. Even an idiotic one.” 

“You think it’s idiotic for me to be trying to pass the bar again?” 

“No, I’m just commenting on how stressful it can sometimes be to be your mother.” 

Alex laughs. “Well, I’ll give you that.” He takes a drink of his beer and closes his eyes. “God, it would just be so much easier if it all came back.” 

Ellen gives him a look. “Alex, we can’t live our lives doing just what’s easy. It’s the times when we power through adversity, through our struggles that we find who we really are. Consider this an opportunity for growth instead of thinking of all that you’ve lost.” 

“You’re doing a pretty good job without your speech writer,” Alex teases. 

She rolls her eyes at him. “You little shit.” At least she’s grinning. “Look, Alex, I know you lost a lot, but you haven’t lost the things that  _ matter.  _ You’ve still got the same support system that you’ve had for the last six years. Jobs can be replaced, your family can’t.” 

“I know. I just don’t want to spend the next six years catching back up to who I was five months ago.”

“Give yourself a break, Alex. It was only four months ago that you realized you’d lost all of your memories for six years. This is very typical of you, you know? Rushing through things because you feel like you’re behind. There’s no pace for this. I know it would be nice if it all came back, but if it doesn’t come back, it’s not like anyone’s going to think you didn’t do enough. Head injuries are just unpredictable.” 

“I’ve got a fire under my ass for no good reason,” Alex recalls. 

“What?” 

He laughs. “It’s something June said to me. Something I remembered she said to me.” 

“See? You are remembering things.” 

“Yeah, but not like anything big. It’s little stuff here and there. And sometimes it’s not even a full memory, it’s just tidbits, teases,” he explains. “Some of the time, I have to have Henry fill in the gaps.” 

“Alex, that’s how memories work sometimes even without a head injury. Especially when you get to my age. You forget some of the people that were there, but you remember the occasion. Or you remember half of the story and you need someone to fill in the rest and then you remember it together.” 

He sits with that statement for a beat. “How obnoxious was I when I made you put the turkeys in my bedroom that one thanksgiving?” 

Ellen laughs heartily. “A very obnoxious dumbass with a heart of gold.” She shakes her head with an affectionate look. “Was that something you remembered?” 

“With Henry’s help, yeah.” 

“Henry’s? But he wasn’t there.” 

“Did I never tell you about that?” She shakes her head. “That I was terrified of the turkeys? I ended up calling Henry because he didn’t believe me that they were terrifying.” 

“So  _ that’s  _ why you never pressed the issue again?” she laughs, tilting her head back. “Oh, Alex. You sweet dumbass.” 

He sits and chats with his mom for a bit longer, relishing getting some of her uninterrupted time. When they’ve both finished their beers, they walk out of the office and are greeted with yells over the kitchen table. 

“Come on, Nora! You can’t do that!” Henry yells. 

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” Nora retorts, grinning and flashing a wad of colored money in his face. 

“Could you two maybe, just maybe, settle the fuck down?” June asks. Leo is sitting between June and Henry, looking like he would rather be anywhere else. 

“What’s this?” Alex asks, walking over and putting his hand on Henry’s shoulder. 

“These geniuses decided to play Monopoly,” June tells him. Alex laughs, imagining how the three of them must be during a game like this. When Nora stayed with him while Henry was gone, she informed him that Alex eventually refused to ever play with her again. 

“Ellen, you enjoy this game,” Leo says. “Why don’t you sub in for me? I’ve got to get to sleep. I’ve got an early date with a bird.” All of them look at him and with disgusted faces. He just shrugs and kisses Ellen on the cheek. “Goodnight, you all!” 

“You’ve lived in Texas since January, Leo. How have you not picked up ‘y’all’ yet?” June asks with a laugh. He just laughs and waves her off, walking upstairs. 

Alex is the only one still standing. He pulls out the chair next to Henry and sits down. “How about we team up?” 

“Are you insinuating that I need help? I have won this game numerous times, Alex, and it’s not because I had a teammate. No, I’ll be playing on my own.” 

Alex stares at him for a long moment, wondering who the hell this person is. He’s never seen Henry like this. It’s entertaining for sure, but it’s new. 

Since no one wants a teammate, Alex is forced to sit and watch their game. For some reason, he keeps trying to draw Henry’s attention back to him, but it’s not working. 

“Gee, Henry, since I can’t play, I guess I’ll go pull out my study book.” 

Henry’s eyes are focused on the board. “Do whatever you like,” he says agreeably. 

Alex just scoffs and stays in his chair. At one point, growing a bit tired, he leans his head against Henry’s shoulder. 

“Alex, I need full range of movement. Sit up.” 

He glares at Henry who’s not even paying attention. Shaking his head, he sits back in his chair. Eventually, he trades his chair to June and takes the padded bench from her side of the table, moving it next to Henry where he curls up and falls asleep. The many beers he’s had while watching their game have done him in. 

The sounds of screams startle him awake. “Fuck you, Nora!” Henry yells. 

Alex picks up his head, looking around the table. “What’s going on?” 

“Henry just won the game,” June tells him through a yawn. “He is notably not a good winner.” 

“Historically, when have the British ever been good winners?” Henry asks, fanning himself with a wad of Monopoly money, laughing at Nora. 

“He’s got a point,” Alex says, not sitting up all the way. “But give him a break. He can’t play this game with his family. It’s forbidden.” 

“Does this mean we can go to bed now?” Ellen asks. Alex looks at her and laughs to himself. The sight of the former President having lost a game of monopoly to the Prince of Wales is almost too comical. He wonders if he appreciated putting it in that perspective before. 

“I’ll allow it,” Henry says, grinning. 

“Who the fuck are you right now?” Alex asks. 

Henry just shrugs, still grinning. The others leave him to put the pieces away since he’s gloating so much. When he puts the lid back on it, he finally focuses on Alex. “Let’s go to bed.” 

“It’s too late,” Alex replies. “I’m too tired to move.” Henry rolls his eyes but leans down and moves his arms under Alex’s body. “Are you about to pick me up?” 

“Yes, just put your arm around my neck. And I swear if you go dead weight, I’m just going to drop you.” 

Alex laughs, wrapping his arm around Henry’s neck as instructed. Fuck, he really does have his own Prince Charming, doesn’t he? He leans his head on Henry’s shoulder. “Thank you, Prince Charming,” he teases. Henry glares at him, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. All Prince Charming facade is gone when they get into their room and he tosses Alex onto the bed. “That’s not very princely of you.” 

Henry climbs on the bed and crawls over him. “Neither is this.” He meets Alex for a positively sinful kiss. Suddenly, Alex feels more awake. Henry breathes into Alex’s ear, “How quiet can you be?” 

It feels like a challenge and one he’s certainly up for. Well, until Henry takes his ear lobe between his teeth. “Oh, fuck you,” he moans. 

Henry pulls back with a devious look on his face. “You’re more than welcome to.” 

Alex shakes his head in awe at Henry. He’s never really seen him in this type of mood. At least, not in his current memories. With a hand at his neck, he pulls Henry back down and kisses him deeply, thrusting his hips up against him. If Henry’s going to make Alex work to stay quiet, he can absolutely do the same thing back. He swallows Henry’s groan. 

Henry breaks away from their kiss and yanks Alex’s shirt and then his own off, tossing them to the floor. He leans back down and kisses him hard before he moves off the bed all together. “What are you doing?” Alex whines, perhaps a little loudly. 

He turns around and shushes him, holding a finger to his lips. Rummaging around in his bag, he pulls out what he’s looking for: lube and a box of condoms. Turning back to Alex, he holds them up proudly as he walks back over to the bed. Before climbing back on, he shucks his pants and pulls Alex’s off for good measure. 

“You’re not playing around tonight,” Alex muses as Henry climbs back on top of him. 

His lips go to Alex’s neck. “What can I say? I’m in a fun mood.” 

“If this is what happens when you win Monopoly,” Alex says, interrupting himself by biting back a groan as Henry licks his nipple, “we’re going to play all the fucking time.” 

“Ooh, strip Monopoly,” Henry suggests with a grin. 

“I think we’d both have blue balls by the time we finished a game,” Alex argues. 

Henry hovers over him, staring down at him with darkened eyes. “Well, we wouldn’t want that.” He leans back down and kisses Alex deeply. Alex grabs his face and returns it eagerly, rolling his body against Henry’s. He pulls back, biting Alex’s lip before grabbing the bottle of lube and handing it to him. He whispers in his ear, “I want you inside me.” 

It takes everything in Alex not to groan. He makes eye contact with Henry and holds it as he preps him. Henry’s eyes slide close, resting his head against Alex’s shoulder. He can feel him panting against him and it’s working Alex up even more. Finally, Henry picks his head up, a desperate look in his eyes. “I’m ready.” Alex nods and Henry kisses him again, a bit roughly. 

“How do you want to do this?” Alex breathes. 

Henry stares at him for a moment before he says in a low voice, “I want to ride you.” 

It feels like Alex’s entire body reacts to that. He borrows Henry’s words from before. “You’re more than welcome to.” 

Henry laughs as he grabs a condom and rolls it on Alex. They hold eye contact as Henry reaches behind him and sinks down. Both of them groan before Henry shushes them. “We’ve got to be quiet,” he reminds Alex.

Alex picks up Henry’s hand and holds it over his mouth. Henry’s eyes flutter closed and he starts to move his hips. He bounces in Alex’s lap and rocks against him. It’s a good thing Henry’s hand is over his mouth because Alex feels like he’s just moaning repeatedly. God, Henry feels so good. Alex thrusts his hips up to meet Henry, his hands like vices at Henry’s waist. 

“Touch me,” Henry says breathily. 

Alex reaches out and starts pumping him in time Henry’s movements. Henry’s panting loudly, hopefully not loud enough to be heard. He can feel him fluttering around him and Alex knows he’s close. He speeds up his hand and Henry comes on his chest. Alex thrusts into him a handful more times and comes, biting the fleshy part of Henry’s palm. 

Henry collapses against him and Alex’s arms hold him there. “Holy fuck,” Alex breathes. 

“Indeed,” Henry pants against him. 

Alex picks his head up and looks at Henry, leaning forward to kiss him softly. “God, I love you,” he whispers, still feeling the need to be quiet. 

Henry smiles lazily, pressing another kiss to Alex’s lips. “I love you too.” 

If anyone heard them the night before, thankfully no one says anything. Alex sits at the table and drinks his coffee, hoping to cover up how tired he is. Their Thanksgiving proceeds as it always used to before they were in the White House. It’s been a while since he’s seen his mother in an apron cooking. She and Leo work around each other. Of course, she has no issues commanding one of her four children (Henry and Nora have long been considered as such, apparently) to make some side dish or run some errand. 

They eat a good meal and sit around telling stories as they always do. Alex misses his dad, but he doesn’t want to imagine what this day could be like if they forced their parents in the same room. When they’re feeling their post turkey haze, the group of them sits around in the living room, draped over chairs and couches. Alex’s head is in Henry’s lap and his feet are in June’s. Neither of them seem to care all that much. Henry plays with Alex’s curls and it feels like he could fall asleep right there, his husband lulling him to sleep. 

Leo asks Ellen if she missed pardoning turkeys this year. As she answers, Alex looks up to Henry and the two of them start laughing. Henry bends down and presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead. 

No one asks them anything, though he sees the knowing look in his mother’s eyes. In all likelihood, they’ve all learned not to try and understand his and Henry’s inside jokes. Alex just feels relieved that he’s starting to understand them again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life is going to be pretty crazy in the next couple of weeks, so I don't know how quickly I'll be able to update, but we'll see! Thanks for reading!


	20. We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about such a long stretch between chapters. This past month has been incredibly overwhelming and I never had the time in the last couple of weeks to even think about sitting down and writing. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I still have a few more chapters planned out, but that can always get stretched as well. All that to say, we're not over yet! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

The weeks between holidays pass all too quickly. Henry starts going to the shelter more often. He’s using it as his base while expanding the shelters to more cities. The process of it started long before Alex’s accident, but Henry’s been letting others handle most of it in the last few months. Now, he is glad to be more hands-on again. For one, it means that things with Alex feel settled enough for him to pay attention to work again. Even after Alex started studying for the bar exam again, Henry stuck around to make sure he was doing alright and wasn’t overworking himself. 

Of course he is, but Henry’s more or less thrown his hands up and is realizing that Alex will always be the same and won’t listen to him. 

He feels like he barely sees Alex between Thanksgiving and Christmas. There are rushed meals together, nights where Henry pulls him away from his studies and Alex passes out against him on the couch, study breaks where Henry joins him for a run — only so he can spend time with him — and the nights where Henry has to pry the books from Alex’s hands and drag him up to bed. He knows that this is a huge undertaking for Alex and that’s the only reason he doesn’t intervene more. 

He’s seen the panicked look in Alex’s eyes when the topic of the bar comes up. Alex seems somewhere between miserable and intensely focused and Henry just wants to help him out. He knows nothing will help, short of Alex receiving the news that he passed the bar. There are times when Henry wants to ask him what he’ll do if he doesn’t pass, but he never asks. He doesn’t need to put that on Alex. 

Henry has been fielding calls from his mother for weeks, asking for a confirmation on whether they’ll be joining the Royal Family for Christmas or not. He keeps putting her off. Alex is so focused on his studies that the topic of the holidays hasn’t come up. Henry feels hesitant to whisk Alex away to England for Christmas, taking him away from his family. He just doesn’t know how to bring it up. All the while he lets Alex study. There’s a break one night that Alex chooses to take himself when he hears Henry decorating a Christmas tree. They spend the evening making the house look Christmas ready. 

One night, Henry’s sitting on the couch, watching  _ Bake Off  _ to his heart’s content, pausing every so often to check on Alex. It’s been a bit since he was last in there, so he’s surprised to hear the office door open and Alex’s footsteps carrying him to the couch. 

“It’s the 19th,” he says, a dumbfounded look on his face. 

Henry frowns. “Well, yes. Has been all day,” he teases. 

Alex throws himself down on the couch. “It’s the 19th, Henry!” 

“And?” 

“How have we not talked about Christmas  _ at all _ ? I didn’t even realize that it’s in less than a week. I’ve been so absorbed in my studying.” 

“I know you have been, which is why I haven’t brought it up.” 

“But it’s in less than a week!” 

“Yes, I know.” 

“Are we going to England?” 

Henry stares at him for a moment. “I haven’t made any decisions for us. I was waiting for your input.” 

“Well, I just know that Christmas is a big thing for the Royal Family, right? Isn’t it a big deal if we aren’t there?” 

“We weren’t there last year,” Henry tells him. 

“So that means we should probably be there this year,” Alex decides. “I don’t want your family to think I’m keeping you away from them.” 

Henry chuckles. “I doubt they’d think that, Alex.” 

“Well, still.” 

“You really want to go to England?” 

“I think we should. We haven’t seen your family since October. We saw mine last month. Hell, we see June and Nora every week.” 

“If you’re sure,” Henry says, giving him one last out. 

Alex lays his hand over Henry’s. “I’m sure.” He leans forward and kisses him quickly before walking back off to the office. 

They end up going to England, much to Bea and Catherine’s delight. The holiday is spent at Sandringham with Henry re-explaining different things to him. Alex just loops his arm through Henry’s and listens with a grin on his face. On Christmas Eve, they exchange gifts as a family, and when Alex looks a bit lost at times, Henry just takes his hand and holds it tightly in his. As they walk to Christmas services, it’s decided — mainly by Alex — that Alex won’t speak to anyone. Not many people outside of their families and their therapists know that Alex has memory loss. Christmas isn’t the time to confront that. 

They fly back to New York and celebrate Christmas with all three of Alex’s parents. Their turn around is pretty quick. Soon after his parents leave, June, Nora, Alex, and Henry are off to D.C. for the New Years party being thrown by the new First Daughter. 

It was decided amongst them that the invitation was given begrudgingly. Someone tweeted that the First Daughter needed to take pointers from the White House Trio on how to throw a fantastic New Years party and apparently, the girl took it to heart. She reached out to June and Nora for tips — Alex was peeved that he was not asked — and then extended a clearly last minute invitation to the four of them. Either that, or she just sent out her invitations super late. 

There was debate as to whether or not they should go. June was concerned about stepping on the new First Daughter’s toes. Alex, who doesn’t remember his mother’s re-election or the last four years in the White House, was all about going. “They invited us after all!” he argued. 

So that’s how on December 31st, the four of them are walking back into the White House, feeling strangely out of place and also right at home. June runs a hand along a table and sighs quietly to herself. Alex shakes his head at Henry with a grin, saying, “She didn’t even really love living here.” 

Henry shrugs. “What’s that saying about not knowing what you have til it’s gone?” 

Alex disagrees but they drop it as they walk further into the party. The group gets a perfunctory welcome from their host, seemingly the same as any other guest. “Alcohol?” Alex asks Henry loudly. Henry grins and gestures for him to lead the way. Alex grabs his hand and leads them off to the bar. 

He stands there, nursing his gin and tonic, listening to Alex critique the differences between this party and the ones he remembers them throwing. It feels bittersweet to Henry. One the one hand, it’s nice to be back here with Alex, celebrating one of their anniversaries in the place where it all started. On the other hand, it’s hard that Alex doesn’t remember it, short of Henry telling him about it. He can’t help but watch him for any signs of recognition. If he’s having any memories, he’s not showing it. At one point, he looks over and watches Henry for a moment before downing his drink and pulling Henry toward the dance floor. 

Part of being a former First Son is that Alex is apparently shameless. He pulls Henry close to him, rolling his hips against Henry’s, and letting his hands rove. With a cursory glance around the room, Henry sees that it’s packed and that anyone is unlikely to care what they’re up to, even if they have two dukes in their presence. Once people have started drinking and dancing, no one cares and it’s beautiful. So with that in mind, Henry puts his hands on Alex’s hips and follows his lead. 

They see June and Nora bouncing around talking to people, but Alex seems to only care to spend time with Henry. He’s, of course, not opposed to that. Alex was pretty eager to come to the party tonight. Henry wonders if it’s the excuse to drink heavily and dance like fools that lured him in. Anywhere else, they might stick out. Here, they’re basically anonymous with all the other famous people in attendance. 

Alex pulls him in for a long, fiery kiss as their bodies keep moving. His hands slide down to Henry’s ass and squeeze, pulling him right against Alex. Henry pulls back, taking a deep breath. He puts his mouth next to Alex’s ear and whispers, “You need to stop. Your bedroom isn’t right upstairs anymore.” 

Alex laughs heartily, shooting his hips forward one more time before putting a small margin of space between them. 

They drink more and they dance more and soon midnight is approaching. Alex pulls Henry in fiercely and kisses him hard before the clock has even hit zero. Henry kisses him back, his hands winding into his hair, his mind letting out a silent prayer that this next year will be better than the last. 

The party is far from over, it seems, even after the clock struck midnight. People are still dancing and the room is still intensely crowded. After downing another drink at the bar, Alex takes Henry’s hand and leads him away from the party. Henry wonders if he’s going to try to go to any of his old haunts within the White House. It must be odd going back to what was essentially your house, knowing that it’s not yours any longer. 

He asks Alex where they’re going, but he gets no response. 

They’re drawn up short by a security guard. Alex has a frustrated look on his face. “I’m sorry, but no guests past this point,” the guard says. 

“Come on, man. I’m the last tenant of this place. I used to live here. I promise you I just want to go one place and I won’t damage anything and we won’t be there long.” 

“I can’t let you through.” 

“Seriously? Look, we’re both still public figures. I don’t know if you know this, but we’re both dukes in England. It would look really, really bad if we came to a party at the White House and destroyed things. So obviously, we wouldn’t do that. You can trust us to just go one place and not hurt anything. I know my way and I won’t get lost and end up in the Oval Office or something. I promise.” 

Henry figures his pleading is all in vain. That is until the guard nods and steps aside. “If anyone catches you, it was Otis who let you through.” 

Alex smiles brightly, shaking the man’s hand. “Thank you to Otis then,” he says with a wink. 

“What are you up to?” Henry finally asks. 

“Well, it’s New Year’s Eve,” Alex says. “And we’re at the White House.” Alex keeps pulling him along with no further explanation until he stops in front of a long stretch of windows. He looks out before looking at Henry. He follows Alex’s eyes and sees the garden on the other side of the windows, covered in snow just as it had been that first time Alex had found him out there. “Happy Anniversary, baby,” Alex says with a small smile. 

Henry feels tears stinging his eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. He just keeps looking back and forth between the garden and Alex. 

“I remembered,” Alex clarifies. “It was six years ago  _ now  _ that I was wondering where the hell you’d gone and I went to find you. I left my own party to figure out where you’d disappeared to. And I was very drunk and stumbled here. It made me look over and I saw you standing out there, under that tree, all by yourself. I couldn’t have imagined then that you were brooding over me.” Henry laughs, letting one tear escape. 

Alex wipes it away before he goes on. “So I opened the door and I walked over to you and my entire life changed in ways I never could have imagined.” 

“Alex,” Henry says in a small voice. 

“It just felt right to come back here, especially after the year we’ve had.” 

He walks to the door and Henry stops him. “It’s so cold. We really don’t need to go outside.” 

“Bullshit. It’s all part of my plan. Don’t ruin my plans, Henry.” Alex gives him a look and Henry rolls his eyes, following him outside. 

Alex grabs his hand and they walk over to the very tree where he found Henry six years ago. He takes Henry by the shoulders and positions him where he must have been standing then. With a small grin, Alex stands next to him, letting his shoulders brush Henry’s, leaning back against the tree. “It was here that I was so drunk and had no idea what you were talking about with your options you couldn’t pursue.” 

There weren’t a lot of things that were perfectly clear in Henry’s memory after six years, but that moment, the night that he’d foolishly — or in the end  _ not  _ foolishly — kissed Alex has always been clear as day. 

“I asked you what you meant and you were surprised that I wasn’t following you.” Alex laughs. “You said ‘Christ, you are as thick as it gets’ and then —” 

Henry cuts him off by grabbing Alex’s face in both hands and kissing him, same as he did that night, same as he’s done too many times to count since then. Like the first time, he can tell that Alex is a bit stunned. Unlike the first time, Alex quickly gets over it and kisses him back, his hands gripping on tight to his suit jacket. He presses Henry back against the tree and deepens the kiss. Henry sighs against him, his hands sliding back to move through his hair. 

This kiss feels like everything. Like a reminder. Like a promise. 

Alex pulls back with a smack, breathing hard, and staring intently at Henry. “You interrupted me,” he finally says. 

Henry laughs, rubbing his hand against Alex’s cheek. “My apologies.” 

“I’ll allow you to interrupt me all the time if you do so like that,” Alex jokes. 

“Good to know.” 

Alex leans up and kisses him softly. “I was reading some article a few weeks ago and they mentioned the Linden trees and this sprang fully formed into my head,” he admits. “I almost ran in to tell you, but I decided showing you that I remembered was better.” Henry smiles, feeling tears in his eyes again. “The memory of this night is the clearest one I’ve remembered yet. By far the most detailed.” Alex reaches up and cups Henry’s face. “Maybe because it’s one of the most important.” 

Henry breathes out a laugh before he leans down and kisses Alex again. “I thought I loved you then,” he confesses, “but goodness I had no clue.” 

Alex smiles at him. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He takes a step back and clears his throat, reaching out for Henry’s hands. “I don’t remember what I said last year at this time — if I was super cheesy or if it was just another day for us. But I promise you now that next year will be better.” 

Henry pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s not only up to you. I promise that too.” 

They stand there holding each other for a long moment. “We should probably get inside before we get Otis in trouble,” Alex realizes. 

Breaking apart, they share a nod and one more kiss before they’re walking hand in hand back into the White House. “Did you remember the rest of it as well?” Henry asks. 

“The rest of what? I thought you left right after you kissed me?” 

He laughs. “Oh, I did. I ran like hell. What I meant was, did you remember that you’ve done something like this every year since then?” 

Alex watches him for a moment before bursting out laughing. “Oh my god. Of course I did. Maybe we’ll get invited again next year and I can do it again then, too.” 


	21. A Blue Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I have no idea how we're 21 chapters in.   
> Second, I apologize for the long delay between chapters. Moving, starting a new job, and being without internet are all hard on the updating schedule. I hope you're still interested in new chapters!

Alex is close to finishing the end of the chapter in his study book when he reaches out for his cup and brings it to his lips. Tilting it back, he realizes it’s empty. He stares at the cup, wondering why he thought it had any of his drink left. Sitting back in his chair, he stares out the window and takes a break. He looks back at the cup and a realization hits him. 

Henry is usually flitting in and out of the room, silently filling his cup with either coffee or water and encouraging him to keep studying. His eyes flick to the doorway and he thinks about the last time he saw Henry today. It’s the early afternoon and he can’t remember if he’s even heard Henry puttering around the house. 

Alex puts a marker in his book and walks out of the office. It’s early January and his test is approaching quickly, but he’s more worried about Henry right now. If he was going to the shelter, he’d tell Alex. And usually, he checks in on him while he’s here. Alex isn’t sure where he could be. 

First place he checks is the kitchen. It’s empty. 

He wanders back through the living room and it’s also empty. 

Alex glances at the stairs and takes them two at a time. The door to their bedroom is still shut. When he got up this morning, Henry was still asleep. There’s no way that he’s still asleep. A panicked voice in his mind pushes Alex quickly to the door. He eases open the door and peers around it. 

Henry’s there. He’s laying on the bed, his back turned to the door. Alex can see the gentle motion of his breathing and it comforts him slightly. He walks around to Henry’s side of the bed and runs his fingers through Henry’s hair as he ducks down beside him. 

“Henry? You alright?” 

His unfocused eyes shift to look at Alex. He doesn’t really reply, just shrugs. Alex can’t think of another time that he’s seen Henry like this. At least not directly around a therapy appointment. It’s been a couple weeks since either of their last appointments. 

He hears a whimper from the foot of the bed and looks over at David. If Henry’s been like this, he thinks David probably hasn’t been for a walk. 

“I’m gonna take David for a walk,” Alex tells him. Henry just nods blankly. “Do you want to join me?” 

Henry closes his eyes and curls in a bit tighter on himself. “No,” he whispers. 

Alex frowns, leaning forward and kissing Henry’s forehead. “Okay, we’ll be back. I love you, baby.” 

Henry doesn’t reply. 

Alex halts by the bed, watching Henry and wondering what is going on in his head. Finally, he walks toward the door. “Come on, David.” David jumps up and trots toward him, leading the way down the stairs. 

They’re not even a block from the house when Alex pulls out his phone. He scrolls til he finds the name he’s looking for and presses call. 

“Hello?” 

“Bea, hey! How are you?” 

“I’m alright, given the circumstances. How are you? How’s Henry?” 

“Well, that’s kind of why I was calling. Have you talked to him today?” 

“No. I’ve been meaning to call him all day but I’ve been spending time with Mum today. Somewhat distracting her, somewhat reminiscing. I’ll be sure to call him later though.” 

“Okay, I’d like to remind you that I lost all my memories of your family other than the publicized ones that I happened to know before. Is today something important?” 

He can hear Bea make a noise on the other end of the line. “Oh fuck. Of course you don’t know. It’s Dad’s birthday today. This day is always a bit hard on Henry, honestly. Is he doing alright?” 

“No, actually, he’s not,” Alex tells her. “I was getting really concerned, but I guess this makes sense. I don’t know if he’s even gotten out of bed today.” 

“Yeah, that happens for him. I think it just hits him that it’s Dad’s birthday but he’s been gone for years now. We’ve not gotten to celebrate it in the right way for too long.” 

“That makes sense.” Alex shakes his head to himself. “Fuck, I feel like a failure. I should have known.” 

“Alex, you have memory loss.” 

“I know. But I still should have been there for him. I was so caught up in my studying, I only just found him. God, I feel like an asshole.” 

“You shouldn’t. When he lived here, he didn’t even want to be around me when he felt like this. Odds are, even if you’d been attentive, he might have told you he wanted to be alone. I’ll call him later and check in. I need to anyway.” 

“Well, I’ll still be with him. I’m not going to just leave him to rot,” Alex says. “I feel bad. I want to do something.” 

“You’re such a fixer,” she says with a laugh. “Let me know if you need any help remembering the things that help him.” 

Alex hates that he thinks he may need her help with that. He wants to know how to take care of his husband on his own. Months ago, he needed June and Nora to tell him the best way to make a convincing apology to Henry. Now, he might need Bea’s help to comfort him in his time of need. Alex can’t help but wonder if there will be a day when he feels like he can be Henry’s husband on his own, without his helpful fairies chirping in his ear. He wants it to be true. 

He takes David off the leash once they get back in the house. David scurries over to his bowl of water while Alex gets to work, making a tray to take up to Henry. He finds the bowl of soup from the deli he’d texted one of Henry’s PPOs about while he was still out on his walk. The dude works fast. Alex fills a huge bottle of water — a comically large one that June bought him when she was convinced Alex wasn’t drinking enough water — and puts it on the tray. There are a few packages of Jaffa Cakes, the bowl of Henry’s favorite soup, some crackers, assorted fruit Alex found in the fridge for some nutrients, and anything else small that he thought might make Henry smile. 

It’s a real balancing act getting it all up the stairs without spilling it. Alex nearly curses out David when he runs up the stairs around Alex’s legs and makes him nearly topple over. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he whisper-yells to the dog. Finally, he nudges the door open and sets the tray and all its many contents on the seat at the foot of the bed. 

Alex returns to the side of the bed and crouches down to be eye level with Henry. As he runs his fingers through Henry’s hair, the man’s eyes open slowly, still looking pretty miserable. “I have some food for you. You don’t have to get up or anything, but I can’t let you starve today.” He leans forward and kisses Henry’s forehead. “There’s your favorite soup and anything else you may want.” Henry merely nods, not even looking to where Alex left it. 

He’s not quite sure what he wants to do. There are images of shoving the soup down Henry’s throat to make him eat  _ something.  _ He wants to kiss Henry’s face over and over, telling him how loved he is — even if he knows that’s not the problem. He wants to shake him and tell him to take care of himself. He doesn’t really do any of those things. 

Instead, he moves the objects on Henry’s nightstand and moves the tray over to it. When he’s done with that, he changes his clothes into pajamas and climbs in bed behind Henry, wrapping his arms around him. 

Henry’s head turns a fraction of an inch, looking faintly over his shoulder at Alex. “What are you doing?” 

Alex buries his face between Henry’s shoulder blades and runs a hand along his arm. “I’m being here for you.” 

“You don’t need to,” Henry says in a painfully small voice. 

“I want to. Unless you’d rather just be by yourself, in which case, I will respect that.” 

“Don’t you have studying to do?” 

“This is more important,” Alex insists. 

“Alex,” Henry says, sounding a bit exasperated. “Just go study.” 

Alex picks up his head and puts his chin on Henry’s shoulder. “Do you want me to go study because you want to be alone or because you’re worried I’ll regret that I missed studying time?” 

He’s pretty sure that Henry would tell him if he wanted to be alone. It’s happened before, especially when the two of them were not seeing eye to eye. Alex takes Henry’s current silence that his answer is closer to the latter. Alex lays his head back down on the pillow and tightens his arms around Henry’s waist. 

“I’m not going anywhere. It’s not even a lost day. I studied all morning.” 

Suddenly, Henry turns in his arms and buries his face in Alex’s chest. He quickly wraps his arms back around Henry and holds him close. “I’m here, baby,” he whispers into his hair. “I love you so much.” 

“I don’t know why it’s so bad today,” Henry says in a sob against him. “Sure, it’s always a bit bad, but it hasn’t been this bad in...years.” 

“It’s okay to miss your dad, Henry,” Alex tells him. “Surely you know that.” 

“Yes,” Henry says past a sniffle. Alex can feel tears soaking into his shirt. He doesn’t care. “But I’ve done a lot better with it before. This morning I couldn’t even get out of bed. I don’t understand it.” 

Alex presses a kiss to Henry’s head and holds him tighter. “Baby, it’s been a rough year. That’s bound to culminate somewhere. Even if you’re doing better or we’re doing better.” 

There’s a bit of silence. 

“I just miss him,” Henry says. 

“I know,” Alex replies. “Would it be better or worse if I asked you to tell me about him?” 

There’s another bit of silence. 

“I’m not sure.” 

Alex nods. “Well, if you decide, you let me know. I’m here for whatever you need. Although, I  _ will  _ strongarm you into eating something.” 

He feels relieved when Henry chuckles against him. “At least I know it’s coming.” 

Henry curls in further against Alex and eventually falls asleep. Alex rubs a hand up his back, soothing him to keep him asleep. Surely he needs it. He watches Henry as he sleeps, wishing he could make the emotional turmoil disappear and leave the happy memories behind. Something he learned early on after his accident is that Henry is a surprise. Today was another case of that. Alex had expected him to turn him away, particularly after Bea’s warning. But instead, he did quite the opposite. 

Yes, Alex could be studying for the biggest test of his life in a month, but there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than laying there, taking care of his husband as best he can. 

After a while, Henry wakes back up. Alex is able to talk him into eating something. He sits up against the headboard and eats his soup while Alex watches him intently. Slowly, he starts to talk more as he eats, telling stories about his dad — the times they shared, special memories from his childhood, what they used to do on his birthday while he was still alive. Alex listens and adds it to the mental file he’s desperate to refill. 

“He sounds so awesome,” Alex says, feeling a bit dumb. 

Henry smiles a bit and it warms Alex’s heart. It’s the first real smile he’s seen from him all day. Henry picks up his hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. “He would have loved you,” Henry says in a small voice. He leans his head on Alex’s shoulder and adds, “He would have loved how good you are for me.” 

Alex isn’t quite sure what to say. He feels a bit choked up, honestly. He presses a kiss to Henry’s crown and says, “I hope so.” 

Henry picks his head up and looks at Alex. “Thank you.” 

His brow furrows. “For what?” 

“For this. For today.” 

“Are you kidding me?” Alex replies. “Henry, you do so fucking much for me on a daily basis. Not even getting into the amnesia part of it. This is quite literally the least I can do.” 

Henry shakes his head, looking a bit bashful. “Well, no matter, it still means a lot.” 

Alex leans in and kisses him softly on the lips. “I love you, baby.” 

With a small smile, Henry curls into Alex’s side. “I love you too.” 

That night after Henry falls asleep, Alex gets out of bed and takes his phone with him. Thankfully, June answers on the first ring. 

“Confirm something for me. When is Henry’s birthday?” 

“What?” 

“Even if I have an excuse, I can’t forget my husband’s fucking birthday. I need to know when the big events are. Just confirm the date for me.” 

“It’s March 12th,” June tells him. 

“Okay, good. I have it right.” 

“You wanna share what’s going on?” 

Alex sits down on the couch and looks up at the ceiling. “I forgot today was Henry’s dad’s birthday and he was having a hard day and I felt like an asshole because I couldn’t remember why.” 

“It’s not your fault, Alex,” she reminds him. 

“I know. You’ve said it. Bea’s said it. Hell, Henry eventually said it when I apologized to him. But, I still can’t help but feel bad. So much is coming back. Why can’t I remember the stuff that will help me be a good husband?” 

“I’m sure you’re still a good husband,” June reassures him. 

“I hope so. I feel like everything’s been about me since the accident. I panicked today, not knowing what was wrong, not knowing if I really knew how to help.” 

“But you did, and that’s what matters.” 

Alex sighs. “I hope so.” 

When they hang up, Alex looks over at the office and remembers his study books. Henry’s asleep. It wouldn’t hurt anyone for him to go read a few more chapters. As he stands up, he makes up his mind and takes the stairs two at a time, getting back to Henry. Curling in behind him, he feels Henry’s body relax back into his. Even if there’s so much he needs to be doing, this is where he feels right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	22. Pre-Test Jitters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't start expecting new chapters this fast. But honestly, I hope I can get back to updating this quickly. Hope you enjoy!

When Henry wakes up and the other side of the bed is as empty as when he went to bed four hours ago, there’s no question of where his husband will be. Huffing a little bit as he gets out of bed, he rubs his eyes and walks down to the office. “Alex,” he says from the doorway, “It’s 3:00 in the morning, love.” 

“I know,” Alex replies, not looking up. 

With another huff, Henry walks into the office and sits on the desk. “You need to come up and get some sleep.” 

“I’ll be up later.” 

“When? With the sun?” 

Alex sighs and looks over at Henry. “My test is in a week, H.” 

“I know. And you’re not going to do yourself any favors by killing yourself before then.” He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of Alex’s head. “Your brain could use a rest. It’s already hurt, you know.” 

Alex glares at him. “Studying isn’t going to cause me more brain damage, Henry.” 

“No, but lack of sleep won’t help it. Please, just come up to bed. Even just a few hours will help.” He feels like a total ass when he sees tears swimming in Alex’s eyes. “Fuck,” he says under his breath. “Love, I’m only trying to help. I —” 

“What if I don’t pass?” Alex asks in a small voice. He’s not looking at Henry. 

Feeling like an utter jerk, Henry crouches down in front of Alex and grabs his hands. “I feel so confident that you will.” 

“What if I don’t? Henry, I don’t remember it. I thought maybe it would come back when I started studying. Like when random memories will sometimes.” 

“I thought some of it had,” Henry asks. 

“Some of it. Probably not enough. Like with my other memories, not necessarily the big important things I want to remember.” He looks up at Henry and repeats himself. “What happens if I don’t pass?” 

Henry shrugs. “We’ll handle it. In the six years we’ve been together, there have been plenty of ‘how the fuck are we going to go about this’ moments. And we’ve handled all of them together. And we’re still here.” 

Alex shakes his head. “I guess. I just feel like we’re going to spend the rest of our lives dealing with the fallout of my accident.” 

“Maybe we will,” Henry says, “but Alex, I’m more than happy to spend the rest of my life regaling you with any moment you remember or need help remembering.” Alex just scoffs. “Look, if saying we were going to be dealing with the fallout meant that we’d be stuck in the first couple of months after your accident, yeah, I wouldn’t want that either. But look how far we’ve come. Look how far  _ you’ve  _ come, love. I know this feels overwhelming right now, but we’ve actually got a pretty good handle on things. And I think if you hadn’t been up for nearly 20 hours studying your brains out, if you could see things from my perspective, you’d feel that way too.” 

Alex hangs his head in his hands. “I just really don’t want to fail this. Everything since November has been overshadowed by this. And if I fail, then it was all for nothing.” 

“You wouldn’t have felt fulfilled if you hadn’t tried. You said when you started it that it was just a test to see if you  _ could  _ pass it again. You said you weren’t even sure if you wanted to still be a lawyer. Don’t write off anything yet.” 

“You won’t be mad at me if I fail?” 

Henry shakes his head vehemently. “Of course not. My god, Alex, you’re trying to relearn an entire degree.” He looks Alex in the eye and holds eye contact. “I loved you long before you ever took the bar. It was a test but I still loved you when you were studying to take the bar the first time. And I loved you after you passed. I still love you now and —” 

“It’s not a test?” Alex asks with a small grin. 

Henry smiles back. “Nope. Not at all.” He takes a breath and gives Alex a look. “It’s maybe a test to not bodily pick you up and carry you off to bed.” 

“Sounds kinky,” Alex jokes, reaching over and putting a piece of paper in his book to mark his place. 

“I’m too tired for kinky. Need I remind you that it’s 3:00 am?” 

“I’m sorry,” Alex says, hanging his head. 

Henry stands up and kisses the top of his head. “Don’t be. Just come to get some sleep.” Alex reaches a hand out and Henry pulls him out of his chair. “Tomorrow, I can go to the shelter and leave you alone to focus. Would that help?” 

Alex wraps his arms around Henry and shakes his head, leaning into Henry’s body. “If you need to go, go ahead. But I like having you here.” 

“Well, then, I’ll be here. Perhaps napping in the middle of the day because I had such interrupted sleep and I —” 

Alex groans, cutting him off and stalks up the stairs. “I’m on my way to bed. I don’t need the guilt trip, Wales!” 

The night before Alex is set to take the bar, Henry puts on nicer clothes than either of them have worn in a while. It’s been t-shirts and sweats while Alex only studied and Henry was working from home. But he’s trying to do something out of the ordinary tonight. He cooks carefully so he doesn’t burn anything, sets the table and actually lights candles, and stocks the freezer with Helados. Alex has been so stressed and so focused on this test that he wants to give him a night to relax before he has to take it. He’s not quite sure if Alex will agree to it or not. 

The garlic bread is coming out of the oven — thankfully the perfect color — and Alex wanders in, sniffing the air. “What smells so good?” 

He sees the spread, half prepared around the kitchen counters. “Er, dinner,” Henry tells him as he closes the oven. 

“You did all this?” 

Henry shoots him a bit of an indignant look and says, “Of course.” 

Alex gives him a once over, tilting his head. “Did you go to the shelter today?” He shakes his head. “Oh, well then. How long until dinner?” 

Looking at the dishes and back to Alex, he says, “Five minutes?” 

“Should give me enough time to look presentable then.” 

“You don’t have to change,” Henry calls after him. 

“I’m not looking like a bum compared to you,” Alex yells back from the stairs. 

Henry rolls his eyes as a smile crosses his face. He sets up the food on the table and feels better about how easily Alex decided to join him. Perhaps he’ll easily be able to convince him to watch a movie or something before going to bed early. 

Alex walks back in the kitchen wearing chinos and a button down shirt. Henry grins and steps forward to kiss him before they both sit down. “This is nice,” Alex says. “God, it’s been a pitifully long time since we actually sat down and ate dinner.” 

“We’ve been busy,” Henry says with a shrug. He makes sure to say  _ we.  _ Alex reaches over and squeezes Henry’s hand with a grin. 

“Two days and it’ll all be over. For better or for worse.” 

“For better,” Henry says, giving him a look. 

Alex nods, looking down at his plate as he fills it. 

They eat and chat and drink wine that Henry bought earlier in the week. It feels as relaxing as Henry had hoped. He’s still holding out hope that he can keep Alex from studying tonight. The man studied all day — and every day since November — and it would just make sense to take off the night before the test. 

Henry is putting the dishes near the sink when Alex walks from the room. He leaves the dishes in a haphazard pile and goes to find Alex, finding him hovering just outside the door to the office. “Are you going to study more? I thought you might take the evening off. Cramming doesn’t really work, right?” Henry tries. 

“Yeah, I guess. I just can’t help but feel like it’s what I should be doing. If I have time left that’s what I should do.” 

With a small sigh, Henry says, “I suppose, if you feel that way.” 

“I don’t  _ want  _ to study,” Alex says, running a hand through his hair. “I just have this compulsion telling me that if I have free time, I need to be studying. But you’re right. It’s not like I’m going to learn any more tonight.” He shakes his head. “I need a fucking distraction.” 

Henry laughs. “Okay, so what would you like me to do?” 

“You’ve got a dick, don’t you?” 

He chokes on a breath and stares at Alex with wide eyes. “Christ, Alex.” 

“Please, don’t tell me that’s the worst thing I’ve ever said to you.” 

“Well, hardly, just wasn’t expecting it.” 

“Look, I need a distraction and I can’t think of anything better.” 

“How flattering.” 

Alex grabs Henry by the shirt and kisses him hard. “Fuck me,” he whispers. 

Henry watches him for a moment. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” Alex says eagerly. There’s a beat before he backs off a bit. “Unless...unless that’s not something we...do…” Henry can see the uncertainty on Alex’s face. He can’t remember enough about their sexual exploits to remember. Henry feels like a jerk for asking him if he was sure. “We don’t have —” 

Henry cuts him off by pressing him against the wall and kissing him roughly. Alex takes a moment, but he responds eagerly, knotting his hands up in Henry’s shirt, pulling it out of his pants, and running his hand up Henry’s back. Henry moves his head and presses kisses to Alex’s jaw. Reaching down, he unbuttons Alex’s pants and pushes his hand in, cupping him. Alex groans, his hips bucking into Henry’s hand. 

“Baby,” Alex pants as Henry licks a stripe up his neck. 

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Henry says. He pulls his hand out of Alex’s pants, making him whine. Henry interrupts himself by kissing Alex again. “You’re going to go upstairs. You’re going to plug your phone in and set all your alarms for the morning. Then, you’re going to take your clothes off and wait for me.” 

“Wait for you?” Alex asks. “What are you  _ doing _ ?” 

“I’m going to go soak the dishes really quickly.” 

Alex glares at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? Just do that tomorrow. You’ve already started this, Henry.” 

“We ate something cheese-based! I’m not letting that set. Go upstairs. I’ll be right there. Just let me turn off all the lights down here.” 

Alex is still glaring at him. “This seriously can’t wait?” 

Henry crowds up against him, pressing him back into the wall. “Once I get into that bed with you, I don’t plan on leaving it until the morning. All right?” 

Alex sucks in a small breath. “Fine,” he huffs. “I’ll see you upstairs.” 

Henry smacks Alex’s ass as he walks toward the stairs. He turns back and looks at Henry with a mixture of surprise and desire. “Hurry,” he urges. 

“Will do,” Henry assures him, taking off for the kitchen. There’s a part of him that wants to torture Alex and take as long as possible doing dishes. But the part of him that wants Alex wins out. He puts the dishes in the sink, squirts some dish soap in, and fills the sink with water before sprinting around the first floor and turning off all the lights. 

He thinks it can’t have taken him long. Walking into their room, he sees Alex, naked, splayed out on the bed, fingering himself. 

Henry stands there for a moment, just watching him. Alex’s eyes are closed, small breaths panting out softly. Henry’s growing hard at the sight. “So impatient,” he says from the doorway. 

Alex’s eyes fly open and lock on Henry. “Well someone decided dishes were more important.” His hand keeps moving as he watches Henry and Henry watches him. “You gonna fucking come over here and take over for me?” 

Henry laughs and walks toward him, unbuttoning his shirt in the process. He throws it to the floor behind him and stands at the foot of the bed, stripping off the rest of his clothes. Alex’s eyes follow each patch of skin revealed. When all his clothes are off, he pounces on the bed and delicately moves Alex’s hand away. He lubes up his fingers and takes over for Alex, all the while crushing his mouth to Alex’s. Curling his fingers a certain way, he swallows Alex’s moan. If he’s going to distract Alex tonight, he’s going to do it fucking right. 

Alex breaks away from him and throws his head back against the pillow. “I’m ready, baby. I’m ready. Fuck, I need you.” 

Henry looks at him and sees Alex laid before him, desperate and wanting. The sight of it shoots right to Henry’s groin. He nods and removes his fingers. Alex grabs the bottle and lubes Henry up, giving a pull that makes him groan. Henry moves forward and lines himself up, looking up to Alex. 

“Please,” he whines. 

He pushes in slowly, denying the urge to drive into him hard. Alex releases a keening sound, tightening his hold on Henry’s arms. Henry stills and lets him adjust. He’s watching his face carefully, seeing all the emotions play across as Henry fills him. Alex locks eyes with him and nods. Henry pulls his hips back and thrusts back in. He starts out slow, but starts to set a grueling pace. The more Alex moans, the less he can control himself. Leaning forward, he kisses Alex desperately. 

“Holy fuck,” Alex pants against Henry. He keeps moving. His mouth moves to Alex’s neck. He jolts when he feels Alex’s nails on his back. Alex grabs one of his hands and moves it to his dick, giving him a desperate look. Henry moves his hand in time with his hips. It’s not like he’s ever forgotten, but he revels in how loud Alex is as a lover. Now, especially, he relishes the sounds pouring from him. 

He feels him fluttering around him and picks up his pace with both his hand and his hips. Alex tangles his fingers in Henry’s hair and yanks, yelling out as he comes. With a few more thrusts, Henry is right behind him, collapsing on Alex when his arms give out. He presses his lips delicately to Alex’s neck. Arms slowly come up and wrap around him, holding him tight, no matter how sweaty and sticky they both are. 

Henry looks up at Alex almost nervously. He recalls the moment downstairs where Alex revealed he didn’t remember ever doing this before. Alex’s eyes are closed, a blissed out look on his face. His breathing is slowing back out. Alex opens his eyes and glances over at Henry, letting his fingers card through his hair. “That was amazing,” he whispers. 

Henry leans up to kiss him. Softly, they keep kissing, wrapping a bit around each other, no rush in the world, no need to do anything else. 

After a while, Henry makes them both get up and shower. He has every intention of making Alex get some sleep before his test. Of course, when they get in the shower, Alex pins him to the wall and kisses him deeply, starting things between them again. They get carried away and Alex fucks him against the shower wall. Everything is so wet and slippery. The sound of their bodies slapping together reverberates against the shower doors. Henry’s moans also echo off the shower walls. He reaches around and clutches the back of Alex’s neck. Alex holds his hips and thrusts madly, biting Henry’s shoulder as he comes. 

When the water starts turning cold, it snaps them out of their post-orgasmic haze and makes them wash themselves off quickly. They fall back into their bed feeling particularly exhausted. Alex looks over at the clock and peeks one eye open. “It’s only 8:00,” he says with a laugh. 

Henry pulls the covers up over Alex and snuggles into his side. “Gives you plenty of time to get lots of sleep before tomorrow.” 

“You planned an early dinner on purpose didn’t you?” Alex asks with a small grin. 

“All part of the plan, love.” 

“Was this all part of your plan too?” 

Henry picks his head up and looks at Alex. “No. Sometimes deviating from the plan is even better.” 

Alex leans in and kisses him softly. “I may actually fall asleep now.” 

“Do it.” Henry reaches over and turns off his lamp. He crawls somewhat over Alex and turns his off as well, plunging them into darkness. 

Alex wraps his arms around Henry’s torso. “Thank you for keeping me from studying tonight.” 

Henry chuckles. “My pleasure.” 

“Literally.” 

They both laugh. “Yes, literally.” Henry presses a kiss to Alex’s head. “Go to sleep.” 

The next morning, Henry gets up with Alex and goes down to the kitchen. He prepares his coffee — as always — and gives it to Alex as he turns to run out the door. “You’ve got this, love,” Henry tells him, looking at him sincerely. 

Alex just nods, a nervous look on his face. He surges forward and kisses Henry quickly before running out to the car. 

The last three months have been dedicated to Alex studying for the bar exam. It’s hard to believe that the date is finally here. Henry won’t reveal to Alex that he’s just as nervous about it. He believes what he said about handling it no matter what. 

Still, he worries what it will do to Alex if he doesn’t pass. 


	23. The Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed that I put a number count on the chapters. That's right, after this one, we've got 2 left. Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos! I'm so excited for what we have left!

Henry remembers how it was waiting for Alex’s bar exam results the last time. He’d already had his job lined up and was just waiting for confirmation that he had passed. They killed time by going on their honeymoon. When they got married in May, a week before Alex’s law school graduation (like idiots), they didn’t take a honeymoon until after Alex had taken the bar. His summer was dedicated to studying and Henry’s summer was dedicated to Alex. Their delayed honeymoon was the perfect distraction. 

The difference was, then, Alex was confident that he’d passed. This time, he seems deeply unsure. 

Henry’s not quite sure how to distract him this time. 

When Alex walked in from day 2 of the bar, he just sighed and threw himself down, face down on the couch. It was a stark difference from when he strolled in, clearly exhausted, but sure of himself. 

Ellen, Oscar, Leo, Rafael, and Oliver all text Henry separately from Alex and ask how he’s doing. Henry’s not sure how to reply. He doesn’t even know how to perk Alex up consistently. Thinking back, he’s not sure if he’s ever seen Alex seem so defeated. 

They have a bit over a month to wait for results. It feels like eternity. Hell, it was even longer the last time, but it was still easier. 

Henry throws various ideas at Alex, thinking of multiple different ways to distract him. Since the accident and the resurgence of studying, they’ve barely gone anywhere. Henry asks Alex if they should go to some of their old haunts. Alex thankfully jumps at the opportunity and they go out to lunch. 

It becomes a thing they do. They go out once or twice a week. Somehow it inspires Alex to also want to try new recipes to cook. Some attempts are better than others. A few times, a pizza has been ordered from the place nearby and it does in a pinch. 

Henry can tell when there are times that Alex is feeling down, still doubting himself. During those times he does one of three things: 1) Breaks out the Helados that he’s kept in stock, 2) suggests they go for a walk or a run, or 3) drags him upstairs and distracts him in the best way he knows how. 

Alex doesn’t outright say that he thinks he failed, but Henry can tell. He’s not himself and it’s starting to concern him. 

One day, they’re getting ready to go to lunch when Henry gets a call from the shelter. 

“You need me to stop by?” Henry asks. He watches Alex, a knot he hasn’t thought about in a while tightening in his stomach. Patiently, he listens to them on the other end of the call before he agrees. “I’ll be there soon.” 

“You need to go to the shelter?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, but don’t worry, we can still do lunch afterward. It shouldn’t take me long. Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll run to the shelter, then I’ll come back here and pick you up, and then we’ll go get lunch.” 

Alex furrows his brow. “That’s dumb. I can just come with you.” 

The knot tightens further. 

“That’s okay. I can also just meet you at the restaurant.”

Alex tilts his head, staring at Henry with a confused expression. “Really, it’s fine. I’ll just come with you. I haven’t been to the shelter since the accident. It’ll be nice to check it out.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be dreadfully boring for you,” Henry tries. His entire body is tense. 

“Henry, just let me come with you.” 

“No!” he yells. Alex takes a step back and stares at him, shocked and confused. Henry covers his face with his hands, ashamed at himself for yelling. “I’m sorry, I just…” 

“Why don’t you want me to go to the shelter?” Alex watches him carefully. 

Henry falls back and sits on the arm of the couch. “I had forgotten that I had a meeting that day,” he starts, the confusion on Alex’s face is clear. “I went to the shelter and I wasn’t dressed for a meeting. You were working from home, so I called you and asked you to bring me a tie.” 

“What are you talking about?”

Henry holds up a hand. “The day of your accident, the only reason you weren’t  _ here  _ was because of me. You came to bring me a tie and you got in the accident and lost your memories and...and.” Henry stops, taking a deep breath. “And it was all my fault,” he whispers. He can feel tears building in his eyes. Staring at his feet, he doesn’t dare look up at Alex. He doesn’t want to see the moment that Alex processes the truth. He doesn’t want to see the moment that Alex starts to hate him again. 

“I didn’t realize that I didn’t know  _ how  _ I got in my accident,” Alex says quietly. “June told me I was in a car accident and that was enough of an explanation.” 

Henry doesn’t know what to say. He keeps staring at his feet. 

“Have you been carrying this around for eight months?” 

Still not meeting Alex’s eyes, Henry just nods. 

“Baby,” Alex says, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Henry. With him sitting on the arm of the couch, Alex is actually taller. He pulls Henry in close and holds him. “It’s not your fault,” he says. “Henry, it’s not your fault.” 

Tears start flowing in earnest, wetting Alex’s shirt as he picks up his arms and clings to him. “But if I hadn’t called you, you wouldn’t have even been on the road.” 

“Not necessarily. I could have left to get lunch or to run an errand. They could have decided they needed me at the office and I could have left to go there.” Alex pulls back slightly and takes Henry’s face in his hands. “Henry, it’s not your fault. It’s  _ never  _ been your fault.” 

“It felt like my fault. And then you woke up and…” he cuts himself off, tears coming faster. 

Alex presses a kiss to his head and pulls him in tighter, letting him bury his face in Alex’s chest. “It’s not your fault, baby. You weren’t the one who crashed your car into the one I was riding in. You weren’t the one who had a car with a faulty seatbelt that didn’t lock properly. Henry, it could have happened any time, anywhere.” 

“So, what? You think you were just fated to lose your memories?” Henry asks with a scoff. 

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that the reason I left the house isn’t  _ why  _ I got in an accident. I got in an accident because some asshole doesn’t know how to drive.” Alex pulls back again and looks at him. “Please don’t blame yourself.” 

“But your life has been so fucking hard for the last eight months.” 

“Or maybe it just made me more aware of the good things in my life?” Alex says. “I fought to get it all back, didn’t I?” 

“You shouldn’t have had to!” 

Alex leans his forehead against Henry’s. “Yeah, it would have been a lot easier if I hadn’t had to. It would be a lot easier if I just remembered everything. But that’s not what happened. And it doesn’t matter how the accident happened. What matters is that we got past it.” 

“You said just a few weeks ago that you don’t think we’ll ever be past it,” Henry reminds him. 

Alex rolls his eyes and sighs. “Maybe some of it. I don’t know if I’ll get everything back. But I think we have a pretty good thing going, even with all that. I know that if I ever need help remembering, I have you. You have been by my side, helping me whether I wanted you to or not for the last eight months. When you asked me to get you a tie, you didn’t do so hoping I’d get in an accident. And it’s not like the last eight months have been a picnic for you either. You need to try and let this guilt go. It wasn’t your fault.” 

Henry shrugs, wanting to believe Alex, but the voice in his head tells Henry he’s wrong. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Henry nods against Alex’s chest. Alex hugs his arms tighter around him. “Why haven’t you mentioned this before?” 

“I wanted to. I looked at how much you hated me right after it happened. I thought if I told you the truth, you’d walk right out the door.” 

Alex runs a hand through Henry’s hair. “I get that. But it’s been almost 5 months since we came back from England together. Do you not trust me to stay?” 

Henry picks his head up and looks at him. “Of course that’s not it. But we were settling back into our marriage and just being happy together. I didn’t want to ruin that. And then in November, you started studying for the bar and nothing else seemed important. And now it’s March and you had your accident in July and I’ve never said anything.” 

Alex leans his forehead against Henry’s. “Have you talked about this with Dr. Wiley?” Henry’s silence is answer enough. “I think you should, baby. You can’t carry this guilt around with you. It wasn’t your fault.” Alex wipes Henry’s tears from his cheeks. “I love you, Henry. I wish you didn’t feel like this.” 

“I love you too,” he whispers in reply. 

They stay there for a long moment, Henry leaning against Alex and Alex rubbing his hands up and down Henry’s back. 

Alex is the first to pull back. “They need you at the shelter.” 

Henry nods solemnly. “Will you come with me?” 

Alex cups Henry’s cheek. “Are you sure? I understand if you want me to stay here.” 

“No,” Henry says, standing up. “It’s time to stop feeling like this. If you want to, I’d like you to come with me.” 

Alex leans up and kisses him softly. “Then let’s go.” 

Henry pulls him in for a tight hug. When he pulls apart, he takes his hand and they walk toward the door. 

He’s nervous the entire time they ride to the shelter. Alex grabs his hand and Henry squeezes it. They’ve ridden in a car together since the accident. That’s not even what’s scaring him. It feels like tempting fate to take the same route back to the shelter. 

After what feels like hours, they pull up at the curb and Henry jumps out first. Alex makes a point of stepping delicately out of the car. He looks to Henry and says, “See?” Immediately after, he takes one step and trips on a crack in the sidewalk, barely catching himself on a parking meter. 

“Are you bloody kidding me?” Henry says, a furious tone to his voice. 

“My bad,” Alex replies with a nervous laugh. “But look, I’m here and I’m okay. The shelter is not cursed.” Henry brings him in for another hug and Alex immediately wraps his arms around him. “It’s not your fault,” he whispers one more time. Henry pulls back and kisses him quickly before directing them inside. 

Alex stays by his side, looking all around as they walk through. “Baby,” he says in a small voice. Henry looks over and notes the awe displayed on his face. “It’s incredible.” 

Henry says nothing in reply, he simply kisses the side of Alex’s head and pulls them back to the office. 

As predicted, the business at the shelter doesn’t take long and they’re off to lunch. Henry drinks perhaps more heavily than he would have on a normal day. Alex tries to pretend that everything is fine. And as Henry sits there with him, he starts to feel like it is, like it has been, like it will be. 

Alex doesn’t stray far from him throughout the day. It’s like he just knows that Henry needs him more than he’s willing to voice. And that night, when he starts to fall asleep with Alex’s head against his chest and his arms around him, Henry finally feels lighter. 


	24. Birthdays

Henry walks in the front door and calls to Alex. There’s no reply. As he moves further in the house, he sees him sitting at his desk in their office. “Alex?” He looks as if he’s been shocked. His body jolts and he quickly minimizes something on his computer. 

Looking over, he says, “Oh, hey baby!” 

“What is going on?”

“Huh? Nothing!” 

“Really? Then why did I get a call from Pez saying he will be here in the next hour? And why are you acting skittish?” 

“I’m not acting skittish!” Alex yells defensively. “Wait, Pez called you?” Henry nods. “Damn it. It was supposed to be a secret.” 

“What was?” 

“Nothing.” Henry raises one eyebrow. “Bea and Pez are on their way for your birthday.” 

“You didn’t have to do anything special for my birthday. Is that why you’re acting so skittish?” 

“First of all, yes, I absolutely did have to do something for your birthday. And second of all, I’m not acting skittish.” 

“Okay, then show me what’s on your computer.” Henry levels him with a look. 

Alex looks between Henry and the computer, slowly reaching his hand out to close it. Henry jumps forward and bats his hand away, hip-checking him from the computer. He doesn’t care about surprises and wants to know why Alex is being so secretive. Pulling up the minimized screen, he doesn’t see what he expects. 

He glances over at Alex, a stunned look on his face. “You have your bar results?” 

“I haven’t opened them.” 

“Why the bloody hell not?!” 

Alex hangs his head a bit. “In the last eight months, everything has been about me. You have done so fucking much for me. That was why I flew in Bea and Pez and planned this party for you. Because something needs to be about you. I want this weekend to be about you, H.” Henry closes his eyes, touched by Alex’s statements. He opens his mouth to reply, but Alex cuts him off. “If I open my results, it’s going to be about that instead. And we’ve already spent enough time with our lives revolving around the bar exam.” 

Henry steps forward and cups Alex’s face in his hands. “That is very sweet, but you need to open your results. Our friends won’t be here for another hour. We can devote another hour of our lives to the bar. You need to know. It’ll just eat at you all weekend if you don’t know.” Alex starts to respond, but Henry keeps going. “Frankly, it’ll eat at  _ me  _ all weekend if I don’t know either. Just open them.” 

Alex wraps his arms around Henry’s waist and lays his head on his shoulder. “But what if I don’t pass? It’ll kill the mood of your birthday weekend.” 

Henry presses a kiss to the side of his head. “But what if you do pass?” 

“I don’t think I can do it,” he whispers. “I sat there for 10 minutes telling myself to put in my password and get my results and I was frozen. I couldn’t do it.” 

“I’ll do it for you if you want.” 

Alex takes a deep breath, clearly debating with himself. “Sure, okay.” He steps back and Henry sits in the chair. 

“What’s your password?” 

He coughs for a second. “Uh, capital H.” Henry nods. “G. E. J. F…” Henry turns around and grins at him. “M. W.” Alex doesn’t acknowledge Henry’s grin. “Then, 2024 and an exclamation point.” 

“So, to be clear, your password is Hgejfmw2024!. Is that correct? H, as in Henry. G, as in George. E, as in —” Alex jumps forward and puts his hand over Henry’s mouth. 

“Okay, fine, but I can’t help it that your initials basically are like a pre-populated password. And it said that was a very strong password!” Henry is laughing and Alex chuckles along with him.

“I think it’s sweet.” 

“Shut up. Just check my scores.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t throw a C and a D on there. You used to joke that I should take Claremont-Diaz and just have the longest name in history.” 

“That would be hilarious,” Alex agrees. “Is the password in?”

Henry types it in again, smiling to himself. He should probably tell Alex that he has plenty of passwords with Alex’s name. Looking over his shoulder, he sees Alex turned in the other direction. Henry hits enter and the site opens for him. 

“Okay, I’m in.” 

“There should be a results tab…” 

Henry finds it and hovers over it for a second. He is suddenly feeling nervous himself. After everything in the last eight months, he knows he and Alex can handle it if he didn’t pass, but he doesn’t want Alex to fall into that pit. 

“Have you found it yet?” 

Alex snaps him out of his thoughts and he clicks on the tab. Henry gasps and Alex’s hand falls on his shoulder. He looks back and he’s still looking the other way. Henry stands up and wraps Alex in a tight hug. “You passed,” he whispers. 

Alex pulls back dramatically. “I passed?” 

“You passed!” 

“I passed!” Alex whips around to look at the screen and then turns back to look at Henry. “Holy shit! Baby, I passed!” 

“You passed!” 

Alex is jumping in his excitement, grabs Henry and jumps into his arms. Henry holds him in his arms while Alex cheers. He leans down and kisses Henry almost desperately. “Oh my god,” he says, leaning his forehead against Henry’s. “I really didn’t think I was going to pass.” 

“I never doubted it,” Henry says in a small voice. “You’re brilliant, love.” 

Alex leans in and kisses him again, slower this time. “How long until Pez and Bea get here?” 

Henry chuckles, kissing Alex’s cheek. “Probably not long enough.” 

“Damn it.” Henry steps back and sits down in his office chair, Alex still in his arms, automatically straddling him as he sits. “I can’t believe it.” 

“Like I said, I can.” 

“You believe in me too much,” Alex jokes, kissing him deeply again. 

They separate sooner than either of them want to and go about the house, making sure it’s ready for company. Every so often, Alex turns to Henry, an awestruck look on his face and just says, “I passed.” 

It brings Henry such joy to see Alex so absolutely happy. He kisses Henry as he walks past him each time. And when they’re finally done scurrying around and putting everything away, Henry sits down next to him on the couch and Alex just curls around him. He throws a leg across Henry’s lap and his arms around his waist. His head rests on Henry’s shoulder. Henry’s arms go around him, holding him close. 

“Thank you,” Alex whispers. 

Henry looks at him and kisses his forehead. “For?” 

“I couldn’t have passed without you.” 

“Yes, you could have.” 

“Nope. Not without your constant support and how you took care of me and kept me sane. I couldn’t have made it through studying without you. You’re my fucking rock, baby. I mean, you have been long before this, but it just continues.” 

“Well, I hope you’re okay with that, because I don’t plan on doing things any differently.” 

“Am I your rock?” Alex asks, a dour look on his face. 

“What?” 

“I mean, I know you’re always there for me, but...am I good enough at being your rock? Am I there for you enough? God, I worry that everything’s just been about me and I don’t focus on you enough.” 

“Alex, of course you’re my rock. Love, you’re there for me all the time. In recent times even when you didn’t know  _ why,  _ you were still there. And when you go through a crisis, it’s okay for things to be about you for a while.” He runs his fingers through Alex’s hair. “I’m sure something will come up to swing things my way sometime soon. But, it doesn’t matter who it’s about or focused on. We’re together and we’re  _ in it  _ together, so it doesn’t make a difference.” 

Alex tightens his arms around Henry. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” Henry whispers back. 

It’s their last quiet moment for the whole weekend. Bea and Pez arrive in a flurry of color and noise. Henry realizes as he sees Alex and Pez talking that it’s the first time they’ve seen each other since Alex’s accident. His stomach drops at the realization. How has it been that long since they’ve been together? 

When Alex came to him in England all those months ago, they saw his family, but Henry basically rushed them away from London and in doing so, Pez didn’t see Alex. At Christmas, Pez was on a long trip with his family and they weren’t around as they were up in Sandringham. He thinks of all the times he’s told Pez it wasn’t a good time and all the excuses he came up with to have him not come visit. 

He looks at Alex and Pez laughing over something and he feels awful. There are thoughts at the back of his mind reminding him how he kept Pez, Bea, and his mother away when Alex got out of the hospital. There are reminders of Alex thinking he’d lost friends because he hadn’t seen Bea or Pez. He’d certainly felt protective of Alex when he was released from the hospital, while also feeling a bit wary of him. But maybe what he needed were his friends. He feels like shit as he stands there watching them catch up, wondering what Alex knows about Pez on his own. 

Without saying anything, he walks forward and wraps the both of them in a hug. There’s a startled laugh from both of them, but they both wrap an arm around him in reply. 

There have been stages of getting back to normal life since Alex’s accident. This is a stage that should have happened much sooner. Either way, he’s glad it happened. The point hits harder later when June and Nora join the group. There’s a real sense of relief that comes from having the six of them together again.

Pez demands they all go out to this fancy restaurant for lunch. So naturally, they all go. The day progresses in a blur of activities that Alex and Pez keep suggesting. Henry thinks they’re in on it together. By dinner time, they’re all back at the brownstone, pizzas ordered in and a tall stack of board games are arranged in front of the tv. 

It feels like things have never changed. They sit around playing games and heckling each other, yelling their answers, drinking rather heavily —except Bea, obviously— and just generally enjoying each other’s company.

Henry glances over and notes the joy on Alex’s face. He looks the most carefree that Henry’s seen him since his accident. It’s like he feels the same relief by being around these people that Henry does. And maybe he really does. 

After about four or five drinks —he’s lost count— Henry breaks his promise to Alex from earlier. “Oh by the way,” he calls to the room as they’re switching games, “Alex passed the bar!” 

Alex gives him an annoyed look. It’s sweet to Henry how much Alex was determined to make this weekend about him. But it brings Henry so much joy to see the other four celebrate him and cheer for him. Nora shakes his shoulders excitedly, June gives him a big hug, Pez ruffles his hair and talks about how bloody smart he is, and Bea kisses his cheek and then pinches it while telling him she never doubted he would. Henry watches with a satisfied grin. 

Even with it being  _ his  _ birthday, Henry doesn’t want it all to be about him. He’s never been the most comfortable with the spotlight. That’s how he and Pez have gotten on so well for so long. Alex is that way too. He doesn’t always want the spotlight, but he’ll take it from Henry without question, without prompting any time Henry needs it. 

And the thing is, Henry is happy to share all his spotlight with Alex because his life wouldn’t be much of anything  _ without  _ Alex. 

The weekend is basically just two and a half days of the six of them acting like they’re not in their late twenties and early thirties. They drink, they party, they eat and eat and eat. It’s a blissfully fun weekend and just what Alex and Henry both need after months of discomfort, months of growing back together, months of studying, and a month of uncertainty. It feels like it always used to in the most beautiful way. 

And when they all leave, things feel lighter around their own home. 

* * *

Henry gets the big blowout birthday and Alex gets one that is much calmer, much more isolated. His parents come into town the weekend before. It goes unsaid that everyone is relieved that Alex is getting to celebrate another birthday. Even if it was months ago now, they all spent a week thinking he might not live to see another one. 

His birthday falls on a Friday and it’s just him and Henry. They don’t do much —have sex, lay around the house, watch  _ Star Wars,  _ have more sex, and cook their dinner together. It’s all easy and happy and warm. It feels like the perfect day to Alex. He tells Henry as such multiple times. 

It’s a break from his days spent at the law firm, trying to get his law legs back under him. He’d taken Oliver’s advice and is an intern temporarily as he relearned the processes at their firm. They seem pleased to still have him back on. Presenting them with his passing results was an exciting day. There are days when Alex still questions why he chose law, but he rolls with it, trusting Henry and his former self. 

But his birthday is a day where he doesn’t have to think about that. He gets to think about his life —what he remembers and what he has Henry help him remember. He gets to be lazy and in love and do whatever he pleases. And after the last eight months, it is everything he’s needed. 

Sometime after sharing part of a cake from Alex’s favorite bakery, he’s sitting on the couch when Henry walks over to him. Slowly, he pulls out a box from behind his back and presents it to Alex. 

It’s a decently sized box, wrapped in shiny paper. Alex grins at Henry as he reaches out and takes it from him. Henry sits down next to him and presses a kiss to his temple. “Happy Birthday,” he says in a small voice. 

Alex glances over at him and notes his nervousness. “Is it a pony?” he jokes. Henry smiles tensely. Alex pauses as he opens the box and lays his hand on Henry’s leg. “I’m gonna love it, babe, no matter what it is. You know that.” 

Henry shrugs nervously. “We’ll see.” 

Alex frowns in reply. “I will,” he insists. He can’t help but wonder why Henry is so nervous, so sure that Alex might not like it. 

Pulling the lid off the box, he brushes back the tissue paper and sees a book with a deep blue hard cover, gold letters pressed into it. 

**_The Story of Us:_ **

**_The (mostly) complete story of Alex Claremont-Diaz and Henry Fox Mountchristen-Windsor_ **

_ By Henry Fox Mountchristen-Windsor _

Alex stares at it in awe before looking up at Henry. He can feel tears swimming in his eyes. Putting the box on the couch beside him, he pulls the book out and holds it in his hands, feeling the weight of it, the weight of this immense gift. 

He opens it to the first page. 

_ For when you’re tired of asking questions but have them nonetheless.  _

Alex looks up at Henry before turning to the next page. He’s shaking his head in awe, wondering how this man put this all together. 

_ It all starts in Rio.  _

_ Well, really, it all starts with a picture in a magazine, but for efficiency’s sake, it all starts in Rio.  _

Alex breathes out a wet laugh. “I told you about the magazine?” 

Henry laughs with him. “Of course you did. I mean, June rather backed you into a corner and you had no choice to tell me because I was being obnoxious until you told me what your secret was, but yes, you told me.” 

He chuckles, looking back down at the book. “Well, that sounds about right.” 

_ It starts with a broken boy meeting the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen and then immediately pissing him off. **  _

There’s a footnote at the bottom. 

_ * Personal account from Henry _

_ ** Personal account from Alex relayed to Henry _

_ *** Personal account from June _

_ **** Personal account from Nora _

Alex laughs loudly as he realizes that he informed Henry himself that Henry immediately pissed him off. It’s not wrong, and clearly it took them awhile to get past that, but it still makes him laugh. He reaches over and takes Henry’s hand as he starts to read it all. 

_ The story is a complicated one, full of hidden feelings, miscommunications, and struggles along the way. But thankfully it is also a story of love, of friendship, of finding the person you can spend your life relying on.  _

_ It all starts with Henry pissing off Alex, but thankfully, it becomes so much more than that. Meetings after Rio are short and insignificant. Some threats and bickerings here and there, general avoidance is typical. For Henry, it’s about distancing himself from the one person he’d like to be with the most. For Alex, it’s about staying away from someone he’s quite certain will just irritate him. Until at a particular Royal Wedding when the two couldn’t stay away from each other. (Read: Alex couldn’t stay away from Henry who was just minding his own business.)  _

Alex looks over at Henry with an amused grin on his face. “It seems like there’s some author bias here.” 

Henry laughs, leaning his head on Alex’s shoulder as he reads over it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Mmhmm.” He reads on. 

_ When a small bickering turns into the ruining of a far too expensive wedding cake and potentially the reputations of both the sons of the most popular families in their respective countries, some damage control has to happen. And it’s that damage control that would lead to so much more than either of them could have counted on.  _

Alex closes the book for a moment and looks over at Henry. “You wrote this all?” Henry nods. “Henry, this is…” He shakes his head, not sure he has the words for it. “When did you do this?” 

Henry strokes one finger over the cover of the book. “I started it the day after we got back from England.” 

“Are you serious?” 

Henry nods, a small smile on his face. “It was slow going at first. We were spending a lot of time together and I wanted to keep it a secret. But when you started studying for the bar, I had a lot more free time. I’d write some pages and then go fill up your water or coffee or whatever.” 

Alex can’t believe him. “Is this what you would quickly close out of every time I walked in the room?” 

Henry grins and nods. “That’s correct.” 

“I looked up your history once. I thought maybe you were watching a ton of porn.” Henry stares at him with wide eyes. “I was just curious! If you were into something in particular, I was going to surprise you with it, but there was no porn. I couldn’t find anything.” 

“My god, Alex!” 

“What? I wasn’t mad that you might have been watching something. I wanted to  _ engage  _ with it! I was being sex positive!” Henry shakes his head and laughs hard, his head tilted back. Alex looks down at the book in his lap. “Henry, I don’t know if I have the words to truly express how much this means to me,” he says, looking at Henry, noting the tears shining in both their eyes. “This is the most...thoughtful and just incredible thing that anyone’s ever done for me.” 

Henry reaches out and wipes away the first tears that fall from his eyes. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to answer your questions or talk through a memory with you any longer. I just...I can see it sometimes when you need to ask something but you’re tired of asking. So I wanted you to have something that should help, at the very least, with the bigger stuff.” 

Alex shakes his head and rubs his hand over the cover of it. “It’s wonderful. Thank you. I just...thank you.” Alex leans in and wraps his arms tightly around Henry. Pulling back, he cups Henry’s face in his hands. “I love you so fucking much. I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

Henry kisses him softly, both of their faces wet with tears. “I don’t know what I would do either.” 

“I’m sorry if I’m going to ignore you the rest of the weekend, but like I’m obviously going to do nothing but read this.” 

With a laugh, Henry nods. “I think that’s fine.” 

It’s just over 24 hours later when Alex is finally getting to the last pages of the book. Admittedly, it took him longer than expected. He kept stopping to ask Henry questions, to replay memories or parts of the book. There were also times when he got so emotionally overwhelmed by the gesture of the book that he could do nothing but kiss Henry, which eventually led to doing more than just kissing. 

Alex flips to the last page, not sure he wants it to end, but also wondering  _ how  _ Henry is going to end it. He’s sitting in bed, Henry asleep beside him. Somehow, even though he knows how things are, he’s almost nervous. 

_ The best part of this story though, is that there is no ending. It’s simply a life allowed to be spent with the person they love the most. A life spent loving one another, caring for one another, being with one another. It’s a life spent with one’s equal, with one’s match. It’s a life of petty arguments that are sorted out and made up. It’s a life of cooking mishaps and teasing barbs. It’s a life of some days only seeing each other in flashes and others spending the entire day together. It’s a life of feeling lucky for years on end because you found the person who makes you feel complete.  _

_ It’s a life of support in places where you’ve never really had it before. It’s a life of perfect imperfection.  _

_ The story is much like this love. Never ending.  _

Tears are streaming down Alex’s face as he reaches the end of the book. He grabs a tissue off his side table and sets the book down beside him. Reaching over, he gently shakes Henry awake. Screw a good night’s sleep. He needs to speak with him. 

His eyes scrunch closed immediately after opening when he looks toward the lamp that’s still on. “What?” 

Alex tries to speak, but tears are still streaming down his face and his throat feels tight. Henry opens his eyes slowly, begrudgingly, and looks at him. Alex still can’t say anything. He throws himself bodily on Henry and wraps his arms and one of his legs around his husband. Henry’s arms sleepily come around him. Alex kisses where he can reach, which is really just Henry’s shoulder. 

Finally, he pulls back and looks at Henry. “It’s perfect,” he whispers. 

Henry looks at him, seemingly confused. Glancing over, he sees the book sitting on the side of the bed. He smiles up at Alex and brings him down for a kiss. Alex melts into him. No more words are needed to be said between them. Their love is expressed in touches, kisses, and embraces that last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very emotional about the fact that there is one chapter left. This fic has been such a joy to write and the response has been simply incredible. I hope that you are still enjoying it. I kept putting off writing this chapter because I don't want this story to be almost over. But here we are. Thank you so much for reading this and for being so kind about this story!


	25. Happily Ever After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. It's the last chapter. I have more thanks to say below, but thank you for reading this!

Henry sighs as he watches the buildings go by. He’s on his way to Buckingham, but he’d rather be spending the day with Alex. It’s May 4th, the two year anniversary of their secret wedding. After everything that’s happened in the last (nearly) ten months, Henry just wants to spend the day appreciating the fact that he still has his husband in his life. Instead, he’s on his way to a series of meetings with his mother. 

He appealed to Alex to get him out of these meetings, but he was no help. Instead, he laid down on the couch in the music room and told Bea to play him a tune. She laughed and agreed and Henry glared at them both. 

It’s their anniversary and they’re in London. Henry really should be spending the day with Alex and not in meetings that mean nothing to him. His mother reasoned that Henry needs to make an appearance since he spends less time in England than his siblings. Reminding her that his husband had been in a serious accident didn’t get him far, sadly. She said if he’s in London, he should be there. 

Henry pulls out his phone and sends a text to Alex. It reads:  **I’m already bored and I’m not even there. Come stage a kidnapping and get me out of here?**

He’s sad when his text goes unanswered. 

Once he’s at Buckingham, he walks right to his mother’s office. Opening the door, he finds it empty. He turns around and looks at Shaan who also seems confused. “It was 10:00, right?” 

“That’s what you told me,” Shaan replies. His brow is furrowed. 

With a frustrated groan, Henry pulls out his phone and presses his mother’s number. 

“Henry, where are you?” 

“What are you talking about? Mum, I’m at your office in Buckingham.” 

“But I’m not having my meetings there,” she says like it’s obvious. “I’ll send Shaan the address.” 

“Mum, I’ll just try and join you tomorrow, all right? I’ll go back to Kensington for today.” 

“No, Henry, I need you to be at this meeting. Just go with Shaan. I’m sure Alex will be fine spending the day with Beatrice.” 

It takes everything in Henry not to tell off his mother. Instead, he takes a deep breath and walks back in the direction of the car. 

Henry’s not sure where they’re going and Shaan doesn’t volunteer the information. He could just ask, but instead he slumps down in his seat and lays his head back. He pulls out his phone and calls Alex. It rings and rings and rings. Frankly, Henry’s a bit irritated. 

He listens to the voice recording before he leaves a message. “Well, hello. It seems like you’re having a lovely time with Bea. I’m trying not to be too bitter about it. Mum is sending me on a wild goose chase to find her and whatever seemingly important meeting I need to be there for. I swear to god that if it’s just a meeting about royal finances, I’m going to storm out in a blaze of glory and we’re never coming back here. Stay tuned.” He sighs, wondering if the call is going to cut him off. “I love you,” he continues in a softer voice. “I love you so much and I wish I were just spending today with you. Wrapped up in your arms and doing absolutely nothing. Certainly nothing related to the crown. Anyway, I’ll see you later. Try not to have too much fun without me.” 

He hangs up and deflates a bit. It would have boosted his spirits some to talk to Alex. 

They’ve been driving for a long time when Henry finally looks away from his phone and out the window. The scenery is starting to look startlingly familiar. It evokes a memory from different parts of his past, both precious to him. But what he doesn’t get is why his mother is  _ here. _

When the car parks and Shaan opens his door, Henry stares up at the building in front of them —his family’s country home. Not one for royalty, but one his father purchased. They used to come out here to escape from the pressures of life in the spotlight, life in the royal family. 

It’s also where he and Alex got married in secret, one week before their big public wedding, two years ago today. He’s almost mad at his mother for bringing him here. If he’s here today of all days, he should be here with Alex. 

With a dramatic sigh, he walks inside. 

His mother finds him in the hallway and grabs him by the arm, a smile on her face. “You made it here!”

Henry isn’t as enthused. “Why are you having a meeting here, Mum?” 

She shrugs. “I needed a change of scenery. Sometimes I like to come out here.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Henry whispers to himself. 

His mother leads him off down the hall and he trudges in her wake. He needs to snap on his publicity face, but he’s letting himself brood for just a moment longer. 

She starts walking toward the gardens and Henry pauses. “Wait, your meeting is  _ outside _ ?” 

“Yes,” she says. “It’s a beautiful day.” She looks back at Henry and gestures for him to walk through the big doors out to the gardens. He’s giving her a suspicious look as he walks out the door and turns around, stunned by the sight in front of him. 

Bea, Pez, June, and Nora are all dressed up, standing shoulder to shoulder, grinning at him. Henry takes a hesitant step toward them, looking between them and his mother. “What is going on?” 

“Something amazing,” Alex’s voice says from behind their friends. They all part and Alex walks toward him in a suit and tie, his arms out in a “ta-dah” motion. “Happy Anniversary, baby.” 

Henry stares at him, incredibly shocked and also a bit confused. He turns around to his mother. “This was your meeting?” 

She smiles broadly. “It was all Alex’s idea.” 

Alex reaches out and lays his hands on Henry’s lapels. “Two years ago, we got married,” he says. 

Henry’s poured over the details of their secret wedding with Alex. He still can’t help but wonder if he remembers it on his own or not. It doesn’t matter and he won’t ask, but he wonders. 

“We did,” Henry says, perhaps a bit teary. 

“And after the last year of our lives,” Alex continues, “I thought for our anniversary, we could renew our vows. What do you say?” 

Henry is choked up. He doesn’t have the words to express how much he’s feeling at this moment. Looking from his friends and back to Alex, he shakes his head in awe. “You want to?” 

Alex laughs, a hint of nervousness to his voice. “Well, yeah, I did plan all of this.” Henry chuckles and nods. Alex stares at him expectantly. “Well?” 

Henry realizes he’s never given him an answer. “Oh god, yes, Alex, of course. I absolutely will. Sorry, I’m just so surprised!” He pulls Alex into him and hugs him tightly. 

“Thank god you didn’t take this long to answer when I proposed,” Alex whispers with a laugh. 

Henry pulls back with wide eyes. “You—?” 

Alex nods with a bashful smile, tears shining in his eyes. “Yeah, I remember.” He reaches up and cups Henry’s cheek. “Something about planning all of this triggered the memory.” 

Henry leans his forehead against Alex’s. “You need to actually tell me these things instead of keeping them a secret to drop on me later,” he teases. 

“Next time,” Alex promises, leaning up and kissing Henry quickly. “Okay, so you need to go get ready. And uh, by the way, we have a few more guests this time.” 

Henry looks at him and he looks over Henry’s shoulder. Turning around, he sees that his mother isn’t the only person in the doorway any longer. Ellen, Leo, and Oscar stand there with broad smiles. Zahra and Shaan linger just behind them, each of them looking a bit proud. Philip and Martha walk in, both of them holding one of their kids. Everyone looks so happy for them. Henry’s heart feels like it grows in his chest just a bit. He turns back to Alex and shakes his head with a smile. 

“I’ll see you soon,” he promises, leaning up to kiss Henry. 

Henry just stares dumbly at Alex and says, “Okay.” Alex smiles as Bea and Pez walk forward and nudge Henry back in the house. He feels so shaken, but in the best way possible. 

Bea, Pez, and Catherine take Henry upstairs. They walk into the room that he changed in the last time and hanging there, just as before, is a suit and tie, his shoes on the floor below it. 

“How long has he been planning this?” he asks them. 

Bea pulls out of her phone and scrolls back in her texts. “He texted me March 29th and said ‘I have an idea and I need your help.’ He got the four of us onboard and then the parents. Philip and Martha were a concession because frankly, we figured it would look bad if they weren’t here.” 

Pez scoffs. “I said it didn’t matter if they miss.” 

Henry shakes his head. “No, it’s good that they’re here.”

“You’re just all loved up, aren’t you?” Bea jokes. 

Henry shrugs as he starts taking off his jacket. He smirks over at his sister. “No, I’m just happy.” Walking into the en suite, he changes from his meeting clothes into his vow renewal clothes. He looks down at the suit as he buttons his shirt and he wonders how Alex smuggled the same suit he wore two years ago to England without him noticing. 

Frankly, he wonders how Alex did all of this without him noticing. 

He moves around in a blissful state, a happy haze, grateful for Alex, thankful for his family (on both sides), and just insanely happy. It’s almost a buoyant feeling, like if he picked his feet up he’d float to the ceiling. The love he has for Alex fills him up and sets him alight. 

There have been few other notable moments in his life when he felt this way. All of them revolve around Alex. There was the night that Alex dragged him into the Red Room and kissed him senseless, and everything that followed. That time though, he felt reckless as well. Happy and reckless. There was the time that Alex flew to London for him —the first time—and they really committed to one another. That time though, he still felt a sense of fear, wondering how he’d ever really have Alex as his, out in the open. There was the day that he and Alex moved into the brownstone. He was exhausted, but so blissfully happy and free. There was the night Alex proposed, taking him completely by surprise. He’d felt happier then than he ever had in his life. And then, of course, there was the night he was in the same place, marrying the love of his life. 

The last time he felt this level of happiness, this buoyancy, this ultimate joy was the night just months ago when he and Alex returned to their home after being separated for weeks. It had felt like a fresh start, like a true reunion. Even if he was nervous for how they would grow back together, he felt nearly this happy. 

Today, though, he feels the happiest he’s ever been as he prepares to “marry” Alex —for the third time. He can’t help but think of every struggle they’ve overcome, not just in the past 10 months, but in the past 6 years. It feels like it will be easy and yet impossible to stand in front of him and tell him all the reasons he can’t live without him. Thanks to the accident, he feels more confident that his reasons are sound. 

His mother comes back in the room while Pez is trying to style his hair. She’s followed by Ellen. Catherine walks forward and kisses him on the cheek. “Ellen and I are swapping for a moment. I’ll be back in a bit.” 

Henry laughs and waves off his mother, looking tentatively to his mother-in-law. She pulls a chair over and sits next to him. Reaching out, she takes his hand and squeezes it. “I just wanted to come in here and tell you how happy I am that you’re part of our family,” she says in a quiet voice. Henry doesn’t know what to say. He smiles at her, squeezing her hand, feeling tears sting at his eyes. He knows he’s not going to make it through today without being a blubbering mess. “I can think of no one better suited for my son than you. You prove it over and over again. I can’t think of anyone who could have helped him through the trauma that he’s been through, particularly in the past year, better than you have. It brings a mother such joy to see her child so incredibly happy. And that’s what you do for him.” 

“He does the same for me,” Henry tells her. 

She smiles wider. “I’m glad. The two of you are just so good for each other. And I’m glad that Alex brought you into our family because it wouldn’t be the same without you.” 

Henry wipes a stray tear off his cheek and smiles at Ellen. “I’m glad he did too.” 

“I want to thank you for all that you’ve done for him in the last year,” Ellen starts. Henry opens his mouth to talk, but she waves him off. “No, I know you’re going to say it’s what you had to do and that you’re his husband and you couldn’t imagine doing anything else, but I couldn’t be there for him day in and day out. And frankly, I wouldn’t have the knowledge of everything he was trying to remember. Only you could have gotten him through it. And I know it wasn’t easy, particularly at the beginning. I know who my son is,” she says with a laugh, “but you are still here and you still try so hard for him. And I want to thank you for that.” 

“Well, you’re right, I had to be there. But you’re welcome,” Henry says, releasing a watery laugh. “I don’t know how he kept this all a secret from me.” Henry looks around at Bea and Pez, and looks back at Ellen. They all chuckle a bit. 

“Let me tell you, I learned a few years back that he’s disturbingly good at keeping secrets,” Ellen jokes. 

“You mean like keeping an entire international relationship a secret?” Bea asks with a laugh. 

Ellen shakes her head and laughs. “That’s exactly what I mean.” She squeezes Henry’s hand one more time and kisses her hand before touching his cheek. “I have to go see how things are going, but I’ll see you later. Alex has tasked me with keeping everything running.” 

“Well, you kept the country running for eight years, so that seems like a smart plan,” Henry says. Ellen winks at him before walking out the door. 

“How much longer until you’re done with my hair, Pez?” 

“I’m getting a bloody prince ready for a ceremony. I had to  _ undo  _ all that you’d done to it today. This takes some work, Henry,” he retorts. “But also, maybe a few more minutes.” 

There’s apparently a schedule and the ceremony won’t be until 3:00. Alex allowed time for things to go wrong or to need extra time. Things like Henry figuring out what the fuck he’s going to say. He has so much he’d like to say to him, but how does he refine it? And how does he choose how emotional to get in front of their friends and family? The first time, he wasn’t that shy about being overly sappy. It was just June, Nora, Pez, and Bea in attendance. Plus, this time, it might mean even more than it did then. 

Finally, the time comes and Henry is escorted down the stairs and toward the gardens. Pez and Bea go find their seats and Henry just has to wait for his cue. Nora is standing up at the front with Alex. The sound of a cello starts and Henry gets the nod from Nora. He looks over and sees Bea playing the cello, one of her many instruments she’s mastered. He’s partway down the aisle by the time he realizes what song she’s playing.  _ Your Song. Their  _ song. He looks at Alex, tears starting to fall already. Alex simply grins back, reaching up to wipe away a tear. It makes Henry feel a bit better to see that Alex is already crying too. 

He steps up in front of Alex and they immediately reach for each other. Nora chuckles a bit. She clears her throat and looks past them to their guests. “Dearly beloved,” she starts, an amused look on her face, “we are gathered here today to celebrate the very special love between Alex and Henry.” She smiles at the two of them. “This is not actually the first time I’ve stood basically right here and done this same process. These two love each other so much, they’ve chosen to show it to the world now three times.” She pauses while the group laughs. 

“But they’ve also shown it to the world many other times. Times when they’ve stood up together to face those who didn’t approve of them.” Alex makes a face at Henry and it takes everything in him not to turn and look at his own brother. He can tell that Alex is doing the same thing. “Times when they showed others how strong they were. The two of them really just love showing off how much they love each other and how good they are together. And honestly, why not? When you’ve been through as much together as they have and you’re still together, I think you get to show that off.” 

Alex squeezes Henry’s hands. Henry just smiles back at him. 

“Okay, now I could go on and on about how I’ve witnessed so much of their relationship and have gotten to see it up close how perfect they are for each other, but honestly, I did a lot of that the first time around and I don’t want to make June, Bea, and Pez sit through that again. So, instead, I’ll let them speak themselves about what the other means to them. Alex?” 

Alex glances over at her and nods before looking at Henry. 

“Henry,” he says, his voice wavering a bit. “I consider myself the luckiest person in the world because I have had the joy of falling in love with you twice in my life. I’ve never met someone so loving and so selfless. You never hesitate to answer my questions, no matter how obnoxious it must be. You are endlessly patient, kind, and wonderful. Through everything, you never let me lose who I am. And honestly, it makes sense because I’m only who I am because of you. You have shown me time and time again how much love you have to share and I am endlessly grateful that I get to receive it. I love you, not for the things you do for me, but just for the person that you are. You are the best person that I know. I love you with everything that I am. I am so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with you, making new memories that are even better than before.” 

Tears are fully streaming down Henry’s face. Alex’s as well. He reaches out and tries to wipe away Alex’s tears. Laughing, Alex shakes his head. “There’s no use,” he whispers. 

Henry laughs with him, nodding and gesturing to himself. “Good point.” 

Nora clears her throat and looks at Henry. “Henry?” 

He takes in a deep breath and nods. There’s a general idea he wants to follow, but he’s not really that sure what he’s going to say. He looks in Alex’s eyes and just hopes that what he’s going to say will be as meaningful. 

“Alex,” he starts, “two years ago today, we stood in front of our friends and we made vows to each other. Then, I never would have guessed that even just a bit over a year later that the vow that would be the most important was ‘In sickness and in health.’ But, I guess no one ever plans for that. Still, I’m proud of all the struggles we have overcome together. Even the ones from before we were married. Through it all though, we’re still here, still fighting for one another, still supporting one another, still cherishing the life we have together. I know that I’ve told you before, but now I promise you in front of our friends and family that I will never tire of helping you recall or recover anything from your past. Anything I can. If my lot in life is to relive moments from our past, I think I’ve got a pretty good deal out of it. I love you so much that sometimes it feels ridiculous. I love you so much that sometimes it feels like its own entity. You are the world to me and I promise to keep making sure that world keeps moving.” 

Alex beams at him through tears that are now streaming down his face. The sight makes Henry think he hit his mark all right. 

Nora’s even crying a bit. It shocks both of them. She sniffles quickly, shaking her head and waving them on. 

“Okay, Alex, do you continue to take Henry to be your husband, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer,” she says the last part with a laugh, getting a glare from Henry. She holds up a hand and starts over. “My bad,” she whispers. “Alex, do you continue to take Henry to be your husband, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?” 

Alex grips Henry’s hands tightly in his and smiles. “I do.” 

Nora turns to Henry. “Henry, do you continue to take Alex to be your husband, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?” She emphasizes ‘in sickness and in health’ and weirdly, Henry appreciates it. 

“I do,” he says, not taking his eyes off of Alex. 

“Wonderful, then by the power vested in me by the online site I registered with two years ago when you guys did this the first time, I now pronounce you, still husbands! Go ahead and kiss!” 

They both surge forward at the same time, Henry’s hands cupping Alex’s face, Alex gripping at his lapels. Neither of them really care that their friends and family are right there, watching them kiss. Their cheers don’t really even process. When they pull back, it’s not far, both of them resting their heads together. 

“I love you so much,” Henry whispers. 

“I love you too,” Alex says before leaning back up and kissing him again. 

They walk hand in hand down the makeshift aisle and into the house. Apparently, there’s been a meal prepared. While they all eat, the gardens are being prepared for a party outside. 

“That doesn’t seem overkill?” Henry whispers to Alex when he tells him. 

“Henry, we  _ need  _ cake. Why not throw a whole party?” 

He just laughs and kisses him, feeling light and happy. 

They all migrate back outside, enjoying the cool evening, the lights strung up, the ambiance. Henry just stays glued to Alex’s side through it all. Everyone there is his family and they shouldn’t judge. After all they’ve been through, today feels like the finish line. Even if it’s not, even if there will never be one, today feels like the end of their fallout from the accident. Henry wraps his arms around Alex and tucks his nose into the man’s curls. Alex leans into him, humming a bit to himself. 

Everyone seems pretty caught up chatting with others and Alex grabs Henry’s hand and drags him away from the group of people. He pulls him further into the gardens where the light isn’t reaching as much. 

“Are you about to do something inappropriate to me?” Henry teases. 

“Honestly, no,” Alex replies, looking almost a bit ashamed of himself. 

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and clicks play on a song. It’s  _ Your Song  _ again and it still makes Henry smile. Alex sets it on the ground a bit away from them and walks back, reaching out for Henry’s hand. “Just like the V&A,” he says, pulling Henry into him. Henry doesn’t have words, so he takes his hand and wraps his arm around Alex, swaying gently with him. “And now we’ve danced to this at  _ all three  _ of our weddings.” 

Henry laughs. “That’s a pretty ridiculous statement.” 

“Yeah, but there’s no one else I’d marry three times,” Alex says earnestly, looking up at Henry. 

He leans in and kisses him softly, lingeringly. “I would have to agree,” he whispers against his lips. They kiss slowly, still swaying together. 

The song starts to repeat and Henry pulls back, glancing to see if anyone has noticed their absence. If they have, they’re choosing to give them a moment. They keep dancing slowly, wrapped up in one another. “So, if we just had another wedding, does that mean we’re going to go on another honeymoon?” 

Alex smirks. “Where are you thinking?” 

Henry’s silent for a moment as he thinks on it. “Hmm. How about Paris?” 

“I was thinking somewhere tropical.” 

“Alex, you know I sunburn. Look at me.” Alex bursts out laughing, nodding reluctantly. “Besides,” Henry says, continuing in a low voice, “if we go to Paris, I can order everything for you in French.” 

Alex stares up at him, his eyes going a bit wide. “You sure know how to make your fucking case,” he replies, his voice a bit heavier. 

Henry laughs and pulls him into a deep kiss. “What can I say? I know my husband,” Henry says when he pulls away. 

Alex shakes his head with a grin. “You do.” He leans up and kisses Henry again. “But to be fair, I also do. We already have a week in Paris booked, starting on Friday.” 

Henry stops moving and stares at him. “Are you serious?” 

“Completely.” 

“I love you.” 

Alex laughs. “I know.” Henry gives him a look which makes Alex laugh harder. He surges up and kisses him again. “I love you too.” 

He wraps his arms back around Alex and they start swaying to the music again. “I can’t believe you did all this,” he tells him. “This is probably the most meaningful day of my whole life.” 

“Including our other wedding days?” 

Henry thinks about it for a moment. “Honestly? Yes.” 

Alex watches him, a small smile on his face. “I think it is for me too.” He tucks his head into the crook of Henry’s shoulder and Henry leans his head against Alex’s. They continue to share a stolen moment, peaceful, warm, and  _ theirs.  _

Soon enough, the moment is over as they get called back to the party by their friends. With a grin and a shrug, they lace their fingers together, walking back out to the party, both of them knowing they’re stronger than ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.   
> Thank you so, so, so much for reading, for commenting, for leaving kudos. I started writing this because I was in the mood to write something angsty and an amnesia plot popped in my head. When I started it, I really never could have guessed the amazing reaction that I would get for this story. Weirdly, it was a fun one to write for me. It was fun to see people's reactions for sure, but also to try and craft this story and get the most emotion out of it. I am really proud of how this all went. I'm endlessly thankful for the support. Without it, it would never have been 25 chapters and over 80k.   
> So thank you very much! I hope you've enjoyed the conclusion of this story.   
> I have a bunch more stories in my head, so I hope you'll want to read those too.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and find me on tumblr! I'm three-drink-amy!


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